What Men Think About Women, Women Think About Men and The Truth

The last time I saw him, the wind knipped at us as we struggled against the change of seasons to get in some small talk. I couldn't hide my excitement for him. It had been a while. J was dropping me off at home. He was leaving from seeing his mother. It was a chance meeting, one of those coincidences for which you are ever so thankful.

He'd put on weight, a beard. When did he become a man? I guess at the same time I became a woman. Seemingly overnight, what had taken years to transpire seemed to have blossom. He was sexy.

He had to go and I was about catch frostbite. I gave him my number and he promised to call. I was geeked.

"Damn, bitch, that's my type," J said to me as I got back into the car. I was eager to hear from him.

He never called.

I'd speak to his mother and she would tell me how he would ask about me. He would tell her how he would wife me. I told her I wouldn't believe her anymore. Not unless he would call me.

He still never called.

She told me he kept coming by to see me and I would never be home.
Can this man call me please!?! Sheesh! (Lol)

Monday, she told me he would be over on Thursday. Excited, I thought about what I would say, wear, think, feel. Thursday came and he never came by.

Today, I woke up, showered, threw on clothes and ran out the door. I realized it was a bit too hot for jeans and as I walked back to my house, I saw her.

"Stand right there," she said. She ran into the house and he walked out.

Black shirt, blue jeans, sexy.
It was....awkward.

There was so much I wanted to say. He was conflicted. I could see. He needed to keep an eye on his mother. He wanted to talk to me.

The first thing he said, "How is that dude in the RX8?"

I laughed, "That's what kind of car that is?"

He threw me off guard.

"That's my friend." I gave him a weird look. He dismissed it. We talked for a short time. I took his number.

"So, you have my number now. Are you going to use it?"

"Yes and now you have mine. I just text you so you need to use it. If not, I'm going to beat you up and trust me, you'll like it."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what I'm talking about?"

I laughed.

"How old are you?"

"24."

"I'm 23. I'm not a child. I know what I'm saying."

I went into my apartment. He stood there staring at me. I played it off like I didn't see.

When I got inside, I did the craziest spazstic dance...it was hilarious.

Thinking about it later, maybe I was a bit forward. I'm going to give him the name Martian. Martian doesn't know...I will tear him apart. Limb by limb...lol.

Idk, what do ya'll think? Was I too forward? I want a relationship!
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What Men Tell Us + What We Believe + The Truth

BFF got into a rather nasty discussion with her estranged husband who refuses to sign divorce papers. He told her that he had some other chick that is spending $8k on him for his bday and he didn't understand why, although she's not working, she can't spend money on True Religion jeans for him.

Pissed, she set out to the Diamond District, set on pawning the wedding ring he gave her.

He told her he spent thousands on it.

She believed him. He was making money AND they'd been together 5 years before they'd gotten married.

The truth: the stone quality was so bad, no one would give her more than $250 for it. She went to 5 places and they all told her the same thing.

She's hell bent on making him sign the divorce decree. She's so disgusted. I don't think its funny but I did chuckle. He has such an inflated sense of himself and the truth is so juvenile. This is a major example of that.
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Blessed

Six weeks ago, today, I was let go from a job that I didn't love but loved the paycheck each week.

I freaked out.

I made a decision. My passion would be my career.

Its been tough. I've cried bitter tears. I've doubted everything but in the midst of all of this, I'm farther than some. In such a short time, my portfolio has expanded. I have some stuff on the calendar. Even without the money. In six weeks, I bought myself 1 skirt (that I wore on a shoot for $12) and 1 pair of sandals ($9). And although there are a few pairs of badass shoes I want, I can truly say, I'm.....happy.

Last night, I ran into my mom. She said I lost weight. I laughed, saying, "Brokeness will do that to you."

"You're not broken."

She's right.
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Doors + Windows

I've really been struggling with wondering where money is going to come from...what am I going to do with my career...what direction am I going in....

This summer has been the best and worst some of my life. This year has been the best and worst of my life. I feel as though God was breaking me down little by little and maybe this is the rebuilding.

I got a call today. There are some big things in the horizon for me and the hair/stylist team I'm apart of. I'm excited! But, yet I'm holding back. I don't want to say everything and then it falls through. I'm so cautious with certain things. I have to be.
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Neighbours

Last year as the snow hit the ground, she looked like me: round, plump, healthy. All the while, she fought the demons within her or rather, she hid them well. She is now stick thin. Her movements, a staccato melody. She walks quickly as if she's trying to get over in more ways than one.

She says that she can talk to me freely. She can tell in my eyes there is no judgment and that unlike my mom, I don't make her cry. I can not bear to tell her that I judge not because I think she is lost dancing to the rhythm the syringe plays as she jabs it into her arms daily. I see her for what she is, an addict.

But he loves her. Flesh of her flesh, she birthed him into this world and he will not accept the tombstone she inscribes her name into on the daily. Valiantly, he fights for her. He wrestles with the demons surrounding her as he tries to pierce the darkness that encompasses her.

And I love him for that. How cliche is it to have had this crush on the boy next door since '98. Although a decade plus has gone by, I still pine for him like I did in high school. Mind racing, butterflies fluttering at a quick hello, a rushed goodbye. He is my eternal dreamboat.

Yet, I feel like I am an untouchable. A dating parriah; it is a fate I can not escape. But, I wish for things to be different.

I think about the day her life will come to an end. Who will pick up the pieces of his shattered life? Who will hold him as he cries for a mother he lost in the Winter? I want it to be me. But can I give that? I owe him as much of me as I can muster. I fear it is not enough.

I have impeccable timing.
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Catch-Up Pt. Deux

Clearly, Punjabi didn't listen.

Anyway, he goes home laaate to an angry woman. Why was she angry? Well, because he told her that he went to a club in Queens. So, she went to all the clubs he could possibly have gone to looking for him. Obviously,he wasn't there. To make matters worse, when he was helping BFF up to her place, she got make-up all over his shirt. She told him to put the shirt in his trunk. No, he puts the shirt in the hamper as soon as he gets home. She finds it. She goes off and leaves.

Dramarific.

Honestly, this weekend belonged to BFF. Friday - Sunday, all BFF, all the time...lol
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Let's Play Catch-Up

Life is really hectic lately...but let me try and do some updates...

Friday, BFF had a get-together for her birthday. It was supposed to be different flavors of mojitos, Karaoke, and good friends.

It turned out being us (me, her and 2 other people) watching Public Enemies on umm-dvd- flavored mojitos and her other not showing up til 11:45pm.

The actual day of her birth, Punjabi was going to take her out on a boat but the passing storm ix-nayed that idea. She wanted sushi from an upscale restaurant. Originally, they were supposed to leave at 7. He made reservations for 8. Transforming Trina was taking longer than usual. She told him at 6pm (!!!) that she wouldn't be ready til 8. He never changed the reservations because he thought she would still be ready at 7. Yea, I'm not seeing the logic there either but she looked stunning! I clean up her apartment a bit and go home.

»»» FFWD
The whole day was spent waiting on BFF hand and foot really. Helping her shop for a cute purse-shoe-necklace combo, going through her clothes for an outfit, doing make-up, etc. I was beat. I hit the sheets at around 10:30 in the midst of my REM sleep, around 3:20am, the phone jolts me awake.
Its Punabi.

*frog in the throat* "Hello"
"Hey Nina, are you awake?"
*annoyed* "No, what's wrong?"
"Trina's sick. Too much to drink. "Can you come over and take care of her?"
"Ok."
"Be there in 5minutes."

I was up, dressed and outside just as he pulled up.

The ride over, he's nervous. He knows I hate him.

"I told you to take care of my girl. What happened?"
"I think it was something she ate. She threw up as we left the club, downstairs bathroom, upstairs bathroom. I tried to clean it up as much as could. You should go behind me and clean again." *as he's doing 90mph on residential roads.
"Trina's throwing up that much?? Omg...I'm scared."
"Don't be. People eat bad food and they drink and throw up. Simple."

I wanted to give him a tongue-lashing but I just ice-grilled him. As I jerk with every stop and go...is this why BFF was sick in the first place?

I get there, I clean up behind him. Its not that bad...he did the hardest part - getting her up the stairs. BFF is 120lbs but dead weight going up 3 flights of stairs - noooooot cool. Lol. She's still in her dress and make-up laying on her couch with a comforter over her.

*slurred speech* "Oh thank you for coming. I love you. I really do!"

I get her bread and water. She tells me in her groggy slurred speech what really happened. Because the next table wouldn't be available til 11 at the original restaurant, they went to a different restaurant. The food and drinks there were overpriced and they were disappointed.

Punjabi took her to this club he researched. Pacha...
Now, if you're gay and from NYC, you KNOW Pacha is gay club here. It was the hot spot last summer. This summer, not so much. I know this because I'm a big hag. Lol. They don't know this because they're clueless. They kind of got the clue when only dudes were there and it was relatively empty.

They left and she had a choice...Queens club or NYC club. She wanted to go to Queens but he was like, "We're close to Duvet (NYC) let's go there."

They go and as they're standing on on line, he has to make his phone call to his woman. (Ugh!) A group of dudes in a car hit on her. She resists. They call her a bitch and drive off. The line is ridiculously long and it starts to rain. They were standing in the rain for a while and the bouncer tells them if they buy bottle service, they can skip the line.

A bottle is $400-$450. Its for a bottle they can get in a liquor store for 10% of what the club charges.

Um...yea.

She tells him the last time she had Grey Goose was the last 2 times she ended up with her head in
a toilet and she didn't want to revisit that.

To be continued...
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