Disillusionment and Mariah Carey

It was twilight
On the Fourth of July
Sparkling colors were
Strewn across the sky
And we sat close enough
That we just barely touched
While roman candles
Went soaring above us and baby

Then you put your hand in mine
And we wandered away
I was trembling inside
But I wanted to stay
Pressed against you there
and leave the world behind
On that Fourth of July

So starry eyed
On the flowery hillside
Breathless and fervid
Amid the dandelions
As it swept over me
Like the wind through the trees
I felt you sigh with a
Sweet intensity and baby

Then you put your hand in mine
And we floated away
Delicately lay entwined
In an intimate daze
A crescent moon began to shine
And I wanted to stay
Tangled up with you among the fireflies
On that Fourth of July

Thunder clouds
Hung around
So threateningly
Ominously hovering
And the sky
Opened wide
Showering

Then you put your hand in mine
And we ran from the rain
Tentatively kissed goodnight
And went our separate ways
And I've never truly felt the way that I
Felt the Fourth of July

Truly I have never felt the same inside
Like that Fourth of July
Truly I could never feel the same as I
Felt that Fourth of July

My 4th of July was never like this. Ever.
**Growing up, I wished like hell it was. I imagined myself playing cat and mouse with a beautiful poet-type or football-type. My hair blowing in the wind. Perfect outfit. Running in the cool grass barefoot. I'd let
him catch me and he'd tackle me gently and we'd roll around in the grassand bam! He'd kiss me.


**Backup Fantasy:
We would both be at the county fair..I would be with my cousins. He'd be with his boys and we would flirt with each other telepathically. Somehow we would maneuver ourselves to be standing next to each other just as the fireworks were doing their magic. As they were beginning, he'd pull me close and we would kiss, our lips parting as the final roman candle blew up in the sky....leaving each other with the memory. Not even
exchanging names.

Needless to say, I may have read too much Shakespeare as a kid...my fantasies were a little tragic and adult.But, MC made me believe.She made me want to keep hope alive that one 4th, I would experience magic.

Sometimes, I still believe in this.


**I haven't been lying to you about being a New Yorker this whole time. My summers were spent in South Carolina as a child. Fantasizing about hot holidays were all there was to do anyway**