Make It Rain

The Friday before last, I caught a rare case of cabin fever and was determined to go out. It was my day off. I am young with no children/man to have a ball and chain and blah blah blah. I RSVP'd for my friend's rooftop party at the new W Aloft Downtown Brooklyn, threw on my sexy blue pencil skirt (the same blue pencil skirt that always gets me into trouble) and took a cab all the way there.

As I approached, I saw that the line was down the block.

OH HELLS NAWL.

I don't do lines. Although, I have not been privy to the NYC night life for a very long time - last summer aside- I can count on my hand the number of times, I've been out, I do know the right people who are willing to help me skip the line and skip the cover charge.

It pays to know people...mmmmkay.

Anyways, the promoter and I go way back to AP English in high school and I happily texted him to help a sister scoot the line...but there was no scooting as he did not have control of the security at his own party.
*blank stare*

Whilst on the line, I ran into a friend from college (errr- Sol) and her friend Cora who shared my sentiments about the line and knowing people. BBMs were sent, texts were received and off we were to Providence close to Columbus Circle.

We get to Providence, skip the line and the cover charge AND were hastily accepted into VIP where I met both of the celebrity DJ's that night and we were dancing and having a good time.

UNTIL my feet began to hurt.

*record scratch*

Anyone who has gone out with me knows that I will dance in my heels all day long but I am NEVER far from a flat shoe. Its against everything I hold dear in the world. Do you know these suckas made me (and company) check our flats in coat check before entering the venue?

Are you serious?

This is a rule made by the General Manager of Providence because he wants the club to have a sexiness which means...they don't let women in if they're not wearing heels and also these women are also not permitted to change into flats once in the club.

A MAN MADE THIS EFFIN RULE. and I wanted to stab him in the temple with my heel once I found out..much too late.

Anywhosies....I was trying to save face but my feet were killing me. Ever since I got the new gig, I haven't worn heels and so my feet were not used to the sensation.As we made our way to a different VIP that had seats, we were treated to a nice rendition of a hip hop video. That disgusting song..."You wanna see some ass. I want to see some cash. Make it rain trick...." came on and dude with 3 blinged out chains and long locs starting actually making it rain in the club. Ya'll know my face was like O.O then O.o. I was too proud to pick up the dollas he was throwing but my friends weren't. *forehead slap*

At least they shared. They gave me $8 and that was my taxi home.

The night was a bust for me. My friends are thin, leggy professional dancers and I felt fat and sweaty with my feet hurting me. I'm too (something) for the club. What that something is...I haven't a clue...but trust, I won't be going back...not unless its my birthday or some type of special shindig. I felt out of place. Where's a girl to go when she wants to cut a rug, though?

le sigh

(P.S. Shout out to whomever found my blog by searching for "mandingo" - I see you boo. lol)
(P.P.S. Sade, I tried to comment again on your blog...no go...what's your email address? Hit me at lifeisaficklepickle at gmail dot com)

I Used to be Fat

Hey Guys!

Quick Update
Yes, Punjabi is named that because he is Guyanese Indian. He does not relate to being black (*rolls eyes*) but relates to being Indian. Whatever.
BFF is keeping the baby because Punjabi knocked her up before. She had an abortion. She vowed never to do it again. She also vowed to wear condoms...and that he wouldn't knock her up again...
Christmas was great! I was convinced I wasn't getting anything but mom showed up on Christmas morning with a new laptop. It is GORGEOUS and nothing is allowed in its presence that is all over my old laptop (i.e. makeup, food, etc.)

Speaking of food...MTV has a new docu-series called, I Used to be Fat.
I was watching it and it is really good. Basically, these kids have graduated high school and they have the summer between high school and college to lose the weight that they feel have held them back. It was super emotional. This girl lost 90 pounds in 111 days. I want that to be me. I am 253 lbs at 5"2. I am a size 18. I've never been small. I've never NOT worn a dress size that wasn't in the double digits. In junior high, my breasts were 34A. For me, its not really the weight as much as it is the body image and wanting to be healthy as kidney disease has torn/is tearing my family to pieces. All year, I've wanted another tattoo but couldn't think of a cute place to put it. I want a tiny little tatt but tiny doesn't really match my body type.

Starting Jan 2, I want to change. A lot of women my size blame food. My problem is not that I over-eat. I eat once a day. That meal is usually not that substantial and not all that healthy either. My metabolism is hella dormant. I need someone to be accountable to...I need someone to make me eat 3 times a day plus snacks. It is so hard to eat that much....maybe because when I was a kid...I had the hugest crush on my brother's best friend. He used to tease me constantly by calling me the Cheeseburglar...thanks McDonald's for your classy rendition of the Hamburglar! (Old school McDonalds...lol) Anyway, he'd be like...how many cheeseburgers did you eat today? *insert the ugliest things you can say about someone's weight/eating habits here*

Yikes! Just typing that made me remember his voice saying those things.

My doctor told me that the first step in kicking a lot of my weight is the soda. I am addicted to Pepsi. During the recent blizzard in NYC, I was without Pepsi for 2 days...I was thinking about it constantly. It was like a REAL addiction. I think I'm pretty active but today, I spent the day runing errands with my little cousin (he's 11) and by the time I got home, I was DONE.

I definitely need to get my head together and get the weight off. I know I will go hard in January because my 25th birthday is in February...the 4th to be exact. Right now, the way I feel about my body...it will be hard to get me in that much-desired freak 'em dress..


*le sigh*