Sunday

My mom woke me up at 7:15am asking if I wanted a ride to the 9am service to church.

I wanted to cuss her. Lol. No! I turned over and went to sleep. My friend Kingsmomma was going to meet me at service at 11am. I swear...if it I weren't meeting her, I don't think I would've had the energy to make it to service.

When I woke up at 9:30, I was so drained! I threw on some clothes, did my make-up on the bus and got there just in time. The message was funny and engaging and informative. I loved the title: Men are from Dirt: Women are from Men. It basically talked about the different ways men and women communicate.

Why did I forget I cut my hair off and was wondering why people like my pastor(!!) whom I've known since I was 15, didn't recognize me..lol. My cousin loved it. He snapped a flick.

After church, I went home and fell out!!! My mom was preaching at 3:30. I took a nap and got up just as my family friend was pulling up to take me to see my mom. She preached the house down! Her message was Favor in the Time of Famine. Famine is not just a time where you're lacking food. You could be lacking emotionally or spiritually, financially...and how God uses us during this time to draw us closer to Him or to bring us to our destiny. She talked about how Joseph was sold by his brothers and how if he hadn't gone through that dark time, he wouldn't have ended up in a palace.

My niece and her cousin says they want to go home out of the blue. I was upset because clearly, I hadn't spent any time with them but I told them that I would take them out starting this weekend.

My mom was mad because they made it seem like they weren't having fun and it was her fault.
We got some Chinese food and went home where I was forced to watch the BET awards...booo!

I left after Beyonce performed..and her set was different but umm..off. Her voice was phenomenal.

You can see why I'm still catching up...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Saturday cont'd

So...we're all hanging out and the dancers are getting dressed. We all know each other on a cordial level. So, Twin goes to me and he says he's been wanting to grab this dude's crotch all day. He wonders if its real or not...

Being I'm a woman, I should grab it and tell him if its real.

I protest. I can't grab a penis. He's like stop being a punk...he'll let you. Its because everyone likes you and you know he doesn't want you...he's gay! Lol



So, I do it...and ummmmm....it was real. Lol

so...we all start taking pictures when Giselle..she's a well-known industry model decides she was going to have an impromptu photo shoot...the pictures were hot. Lol
It was like 2:30 by then. I told J I wanted to be home by midnight...yea right! There was all these parties going on and he wanted to see them. Mind you, I'd been in my heels since 4. My feet were yelping! Lol. Fine...

We go into the hip hop room...nothing but black dudes looking like we were at the Source after party. I was with Twin, a BLatino gay man...and J, a drag. Even though the dudes were gay, just didn't seem right. Especially after all the fights we'd seen that day, lol.

So, we went in the house room...omg. It looked like Queer as Folk...remember that show? a sea of white dudes dancing shirtless with glow sticks in their hands on pedestals! The bogo dancers were in sailor hats shirtless with white pants. It was fog everywhere. The female dancer had silver glitter covering their nipples. It was bananas.

(you can kinda see the sailor..the other pic is the entrance to the theatre/club)

We were watching from a balcony, out mouths agape because if never seen anything like that before...madness.

I finally convince J to leave. On our way home, she was like...you know what will make this night better? A box of Waffle Crisp.

Whaaat? Yes, folks...I walked in Pathmark at 3:00 in the morning in full make-up to get a box of cereal. Lol

I didn't get home til 4:15...exhausted and in need of some Jesus...hahahahaah

Saturday

I was supposed to had gone to church for a Women's Meeting but I had no energy to get up and go at 9am. It just wasn't happening. I woke up at 10. My niece, her cousin, and my mom's god daughter had come up Thursday night. I hadn't seen them, so I went to my mom's house to say hi. They were being shy so, I kinda left them alone.

I had a ball to judge that I had to be at 3pm. J is my gay male friend that I troll around with a lot. That night he was being a drag (literally), so I will refer to him as a she. Lol. So anyway J wanted me to do her make-up. She still had running around to do. Twin made me a sequined skirt to wear that he cut from my measurements. So, I called J at 10:30. He was up, showered and dressed. So, I told him to meet me at 11:30. He doesn't get to my house til 1! Smh

There's CP time. Then there's gay CP time...GCP is the effing worst!!!

He's routinely 1hr late all the time...annoying!

Anywhosies...we do what we have to do...we get to the ball at 3! I'm freaking out because I have to do his make-up. So...I'd already done my own..in the moving car...with us racing down 8th ave...yes, I'm an effing professional.

But, I'm racing to get dressed...racing to get her face on. My hands are shaking...my heart's racing. Everything goes on great. Til I get to the lashes.

Every time I go to put it on, her eyes start pacing..so his eyelids are fluttering...that plus my shaking hands didn't help. I couldn't even put my own lash on. I was upset because I NEVER go out without one on. Plus, I messed up 3 pairs trying to get them on...I felt like a failure. Everyone said we both looked great so I got over it.

Mind you! We had to cut a slit in the skirt so I could walk in it! Then...the waist was too big and kept flopping down...

I was so mad! But, it looks cool in pictures.. I guess

Anyway... My time to judge was over. We're watching everything...all of a sudden...a fight to end all fights. People are stomping on other people. J is like..let's watch...I'm like...let's get out of here!

We go to get our bags. The chicks start arguing. I'm like..uh oh..let's get out of here.

As soon as we get downstairs, people start rushing out. A fight broke out where we just left.

We go, get J's car. We drive around the block and then come back to see if our friends are okay. Another freaking fight breaks out!

EMT's are there breaking up fights, directing traffic..it was a MESS!

We were supposed to be at another event at 10. It was 8. We had time to kill. So, we went and had sushi dinner with J's friends who are lesbians.

I'm cool with them because I know them from the balls...but it was nothing past hi-bye..making comments about what we were watching. So, we're talking..I tell them I've been doing the balls for 4 years...blah blah blah.

The check comes. I go to the bathroom. Chick follows me. She asks me about my make-up artistry and compliments me..nice, right? Yea...She proceeds to ask me if I've ever been with a woman. I tell her, no. Then she says...Damn, you ain't no lesbian. Especially, if you've been around them for 4 years and you waint been turned out yet.

Uhhh...no.

She then says...she had sex for the first time in 3 yrs last week and it was with a man. She didn't like him. She just wanted sex. She was telling me ALL her business. The whole time, she keeps saying...I just wanna eat the pussy of a girl I'm attracted to...

I couldn't see my face but I KNOW I had the Bambi look...like...hmmm?

She was like, I haven't found anyone who I'm attracted to in 3 yrs that I want to have sex with...
I was like, that's unfortunate.

Her friend comes in and starts blotting her make-up. I walk out and start thinking...wtf was she trying to say?

Anyway...we go to the show. It was amazing! My friends put on a show for pride. After the show, we all sat hanging around. Then, things got interesting...

To be continued...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Pick Up Lines + Top Model + FB is the New Lil Black Book

(Weekend ReCap Post 1...beware long post(s) to follow...)

This "weekend" started on Thursday and felt like an epic(read: never-ending) adventure.

Friday night, I had tickets to see The Glamazons (plus-sized pop group) in concert and there was an after party. It was still all apart of full figure fashion week. I was tired but I spent $20 on the tickets and it only made sense to go. It was supposed to have started at 10:30. I got there at 10:15. I said I would stay until 12 and be tucked away in bed by 1:30. Always being on time or early sucks sometimes. Like, when concerts don't start til MIDNIGHT. I was pisssssssed but I met a girl (JSB) there that I'd befriended the night before and it made it easier as she was hilarious and had 2 big girl friends with her. When the concert finally started, the sound was horrible!!!!!

So, me and my new-found friends left and went to the after party which was at Stitch Bar and Lounge. JSB invited some guys and there was only like 2 others there. There were a bunch of women. I was trying to get everyone to dance...blah blah blah..I looked cute! Lol. I had on a white tank top with a black an white picture of 2 dogs looking at each other that said kiss and make-up with an electric blue pencil skirt. Flats and a black clutch. I got a mani...all my fingers are black, except for the ring fingers which are white. Rocker chic...

So...in the midst of all of this, I met a woman who said she loved my look but I'm too short to model. Booo! Then she looks at me again and says they have a print division and could use me for that. I gave her my card and was like USE me! I know....such a ham! Lol.

Then around 1ish...men showed up! Yayyyyy! Lol. I was looking at one of them all night. Since now it was 10 dudes to 40 women..he got a lot of play. Lol. I was trying to use my Jedi mind tricks to get him to talk to me to no avail. One of the girls was like talk to him!!!!! I am really shy...believe it or not. She basically pushed me so hard I almost fell...and she threatened to keep doing it until I talked to him or fell. So, I went over and talked to him. He was so cute until he ummm, opened his mouth. So, I said hello..I took his card and danced away.

His friend stops (this guy is a huge big girl party promoter) me like...heyy, did you come up for the event? I was like...I live in NYC. He was like...how come I've never seen you at the full figure parties? I said I didn't know about them. He was like oh no, oh no...you have to come out! Give her a flyer (to Wack Smile) and he did. I hope to see you again. I was like you will. Was he flirting or was he promoting? Hmmmm....

I was over it and it was 2:30 by then. So, me and my new friends decided to leave.

As we're leaving, more dudes come and I literally run into one of them! I'm clumsy. He looked sooo familiar to me...so, I was like: I know you. Where are you from? I think he said Brooklyn. Then I quizzed him on all his schools from elementary...NYU...something else...I asked his name..another first and last name guy. I like that. Lol. I told him I would facebook him.

JSB pretty much took a cab with her lady friends and left me with her 2 male friends that came. One was really cute. The other put me on the "pay no mind" list and so I reciprocated. They were sweet. the one I wanted to talk to was going to Queens. The other dude was going to Brooklyn. I thought..hey we're on the same train, why not make small talk....every question I asked was met with a one-word answer. He kept walking away, pacing around...so I was like...whatever.

I saw a girl whose lashes I was admiring at the concert. She waved and I went to talk to her. To my surprise she had a British accent. She's from London and is apart of an international make-up agency based in London but gets/gives work in Paris and New York, as well. =-O

She's moving here with her boyfriend in September. She's soooo cool and funny and nice. She said if there's something she can't take, she'll let me know and give me the work. We talked the entire 30 minutes waiting for the train and until I got off...

Everything happens for a reason...

I didn't get in my bed til 4ish...with my make-up on and a black pillow cases, lol.

To be continued.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A Door

So,guys and dolls...

One thing I didn't mention in my last post....

I cut off all my hair...ala Amber Rose...it looks dope. I feel dope..

I went to the kick-off of Full Figure Fashion Week last night.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Amazing!!!

Firstly, I get there and I met a girl who recognized me from my other blog. How cool is that?

I chit-chatted it up with random people and finangled a paid job on the same day as my make-up party. $30 an hour for 3 hrs of work on the side. Early morning though! Lol

I also spoke to a girl who may be interested in me being the beauty editor of her e-magazine that she's starting in August!

All within the first hour of being there!

Awesome-osity!!!!

It was being sponsored by Ashley Stewart and so they did a fashion show...the clothes won't be available til the Fall and I'm excited!

It was so great to be around big girls like me: confident, bubbly, stylish, beautiful...

Such a breath of fresh air...
I only know one and that's YW...smh

Plus, being mistaken for a model all night didn't hurt! Lol

I was talking to 2 models in the show. They were both tiny like me. One goes...us petite plus models need to stick together.

I didn't have the heart to tell her...lol


I feel energized. I feel like I'm doing something. I feel great!!! *_*
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Finding Balance & A SoulMate...lol

I've been struggling a lot lately..quiet as its kept.

I'm trying to find balance. I've been trying to compartmentalize my life and say this is when I work, this is when I go out and let my hair down, this is when I work on my projects...needless to say it doesn't work. I've refrained from blogging because I'm not sure you guys want to read the verbal atrocity of someone sinking...

Sinking is a little melodromatic but, humor me.

And I'm thinking about the sermon on Sunday: The 11 Commandments of Dating. Commandment 1 was Get a Life.
I have been pondering whether or not I have one for the entire week. Am I interesting? Would I want to date me? Of course, everyone's knee jerk reaction to that question is of course...I'm cute, I've got the tightest buns you've ever seen...but am I interesting? Do you want to talk to me?

Relationships are so much more than looking into someone's eyes and all that mushy stuff.

I'm not sure of the answer.

Am I too driven?
This week, Gi has been wearing.me.out. She has been texting me constantly, face-booking, e-mailing. I know, that's a friend.

And it is....but ya know...sometimes, I need my space. I get in a mood from time to time that makes me shut down. Getting 10 texts a day trying to have a conversation annoys me.

Well, why am I annoyed? Its getting down to the wire with the party. Things that I've ordered haven't come in the mail. I'm a worrier. This weekend is going to be bananas. Today, I have a networking event. Tomorrow, another networking event...but that's like a club type thing...Saturday morning, I have women's group at church. Saturday afternoon, I'm judging a competition related to gay pride. That night, there's a fashion show my friend designed for and I have to go...also related to gay pride. Also, my 3 nieces are coming into town on Saturday. Sunday, my church. Sunday afternoon, my mom is preaching and wants me to go. I'm jam-packed with STUFF I need to do. I'm stressed, too.

When I'm stressed, I don't talk about it...talking about it adds to the stress because it makes me think about it more.

Plus, girls tend to talk too much anyway..lol

I said all of that to ask...do I have tunnel-vision to the point where I will be single for a while?

I'm not sure..but I have a crush on a blogger. He's in Nashville. Isn't that just like me? To like someone who is so unattainable? We talk on bbm but nothing like...hey baby, come over. lol...and I'm not sure if he even likes me and I think its weird to break out the old...do you like me? check a box when we don't know each other. I feel like he likes talking to me. At times, I feel like he's all casual. I've put it out there...(in the most immature - err grandiose- way) so I guess, we'll see. I realized I don't even know how to get to know people anymore. What do we talk about? I'm starting to feel like I'm all lip gloss and lashes. BUT I'M NOT! I have opinions and ideas...I'm just lost at how to show him that I'm the ish...

*le sigh*

Yea so..

The last part of the night which was hilarious was the trek between SB's house and Stay.

Its like 4 blocks...4 NYC blocks which is like 1/4 of a mile...lol. Idk it could be. I was in 4inch heels. Bump that! I kindly went to the side and changed into my flip-flops.

As I was doing that, SB's friend, HappyDrunk was like what are you doing?

I said heels hurt.

He was like...get on my back.

Blank stare.

Get on my back, I'm not fucking around yo. I laughed.

I'm cool.

He was trying to put his arm around me and he inadvertently punched me in the face.

Hey! Hey! Sorry, next time I'll get on your back. You don't have to hit me.

He laughed. That's what we do...I'm from Queens, we hit bitches every now and then. How we show love...

And yea, this guy graduated from an Ivy League...

Smh
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile