wtf?

y do i keep going for the same type of guy? LOSERS!
if u live at home with ya momma and u have nothin in ur pocket but a stick of gum..i fuckin love u.
wtf?
what's wrong with me?
so, i'm sitting at work staring at phil all day salivating at the mouth and i realize he's just a friend...YUP
we've crossed over into that place and i'm so sick of it...

danger signs:
1. he works with me..
2. he lives with his aunt and his uncle
3. he's 25 and has admitted he has trust, commitment, and a whole slew of issues....
4. he's admitted that he only wants the panties and he still hasn't called since the 1st time we spoke

yet and still i look at him with stars in my eyes...

not to mention anthony hamilton..hehehe..that's what i'll call him.

he just got a job..we have so much history me and a.h.
i loved him in high school...stalked him until we graduated when he finally decided that he loved me back. but...then fucked a white girl and dated her for the year after that..GREEEEEEEEEEEAT
then he comes back in my life and says he wants to build something

he hurt me so bad when he pulled that disappearing act shit and i want to take him back but a part of me is like DANGER DANGER!
but the other part is wondering...

but i don't want to be a dumb bitch...that is my fear..to be the dumb bitch in the room is very very depressing.

i hate that phrase..but i love him..but i feel it in my bones...

gotta let him goo goo gooooooo!

(but i love him) hahahahaha

i went off on a.h. because he was another one - no job, living at home...
saying let's move away together....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i said all of that to say...

don't i deserve better???
don't i deserve a man who loves me in all my voluptuousness...smart-assedness...quit wit..all that i have to offer...

but damn...y am i getting all these losers? is that what i think i secretly deserve???

lemme stop b4 the tears start..

(here i go posting this in the blog world...away away...