Dear People of NYC:
Take a fucking shower!
No, middle aged man, putting Old Spice on funky underarms does not count. Funk + Old Spice = Funky Old Spice. 20-something woman, have some respect for yourself. A comb and a toenail clipper would serve you well right now. Gnarly White man, you smell like coleslaw! Abort! Abort!
All of you served to turn my stomach this morning. And so what! My face looks like this. At least I smell like lavendar baby oil. So there!
Respectfully,
J
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