******************in other news*************

i got my learner's permit today!! yay!
AND as i wats taking the test, i thought i would be surrounded by geeky 16 year olds...NOPE. in fact, there was a very sexy man waiting to take the test after me. i gave him a good luck smile.

mmm hmmm... cuz i'm nice like that.

i plan on having my license no later than the end of may. i don't care who i have to threaten to take me driving.

yup.

oh, can i add that the test cost $77.50. GEEZ LOUISE!

Dear Anonymous,

Eff off!!

I'm sorry for those who do not have Google Accounts and like to post comments....there are people who leave me spam comments about Vi.agra and such every single day to the point where it was getting ridiculous. Which means, you must have a Google Account/Open ID to leave me a comment. I like to welcome everyone to comment on my stuff....but people use and abuse.

Bella, I'm sorry. I hope you can still comment....

Thank you all for reading.

Carry on, folks.

Because I'm Awesome

Today, I am styling and profiling. Got my tunes turned up, my walk turned up, and I am the shhhhhhit. I can finally breathe through my nose and smell things. Wonderful.
I boogie down the street with my bagel and stylish purse in my hands and eeeek! My fly has fallen all the way down giving you a clear view of my purple panties. They kinda match but still..I don't know how long its been down for. Is that why the guys on the train were looking at me? I thought it was because I'm pretty. Is that why the bagel lady gave me a funny look? I work on the same street as Echo and those guys are always outside! Did they see me exposed!!
Stuff like that always happens to me. When I think I'm the shit, I always come out looking like el loseur.

I resolve to......

Yes...I've waited 7 months to find a New Year's resolution...and here it goes....I resolve to take better care of myself. A quick glance at myself finds me with bags under my eyes, dry skin (lets not relive the eczema catastrophe that was last week), dry hair that is unruly, and a
knot that keeps revisiting my right shoulder.Tonight was one of those nights that made me want to whip out my kick and blog about it.Today found me just flat out disagreeable and [dare I say] grumpy.But...GiGi and LaPrincesa took me to Olive Garden which I hadn't been to since I was 18 and filled my belly with food, laughter, and my heart with good cheer. The train ride back home featured a (homeless?) woman singing opera quite beautifully, a man who offered his seat and an indignant looking Muslim man who held a Final Call newspaper that had the headline "Integration is Hypocritical Trick."
I wanted to say ummm....hun....I'm sitting next to these white
ladies....I think we're pretty much integrated already. What mawde
things worse was that his bag fell over and a whole bunch of bean pies
fell out...I thought "how cliche are you right now."
I chuckled at myself on the inside...temporarily sidetracked by a
beautiful man looking at me. (Hey there....bon chika woun woun) I stepped off of the swift moving train to a beautiful cool night wishing it would'nt end.

The best part of the night happened later on that night when I got a knock on the door.

J: Who is it?
Me
OMG It's the mother! Is the house clean?
But, its all well...she inspected a little and saw my neato closet and my bed, bookcase, tv, that the house was clean and I had a fridge full of food and hugged me tight.

She was impressed.

I was going to end this post with the rest of my resolution but it seems as though its pointless.

I done good.

That was all I need to hear.

I done good! :0)

What a Day!

The day started with me turning over, getting out of bed..groaning..not really wishing to get on with it..but, with a stern talking to...I finally got up, realizing I had to meet Twin#1 today. Did a load of laundry. Cleaned up my old apartment and while I was taking a painting and a rug upstairs to my new apartment, I heard a pop in my neck...not good. Pain ensued. SHIT SHIT SHIT!

I can't turn to the left. I can't look straight without a strain. Looking to the right doesn't hurt if I hunch my left shoulder. Geeez.

I soldiered on and went to Jack's 99 cent Store on 34th Street. That store is like heaven. Anything you want for cheap! I bought a chrome and white hamper for 8 bucks. Met up with Twin#1 and proceeded to walk to the fabric district. And there on 39th and 8th...I saw it. Its beauty stopped me in my tracks. The fabric that I will use for a certain female blogger's pillows. Beautiful. And not so expensive. AND...they had it in red/white and white/red. Loves it! Snatched it up and proceeded to get trimmings. Loving the company and also glad I talked myself out of bed for this.

Twin1 and I proceeded to get on the train and it was a mass of giggles. There was the cutest little girl that kept staring at us respectively. Weirdo. The beautiful Dominican man with muscles who is either gay and was looking at another man or is really into lesbians holding hands.Weirdo. There was the man the Dominican was looking at who I want to hop on. Lustbot. And the unfortunate accidental spitting accident I had when i burst out laughing. Thanks Twin1.

Hung out at Twin1's house. Vouguing to the beats, acting like the drag queens I've seen on too many occasions and catching on mutual friends. Good food was bought and eaten slowly. Movies were watched. Time moved at a swift pace.

On the way home, on the subway, I am sitting in front of one of the most beautiful women I've seen. She sat with her legs crossed wearing the cutest shoes, shorts, lovely ruffle top, and a blazer. Smart outfit. A wonderful white clutch that I was contemplating mugging her for and her hair in a low side braided ponytail. Hardly any makeup and a little liquid liner. A rowdy threesome came on the train, which we both shared apprehension about. One guy sat next to me. One next to her and a woman in the middle. The guy next to me asked the woman next to him if he could have some gum as she was pulling it out to chew a piece herself. She politely gave it to him, which in the exact same moment, his friend decided he wanted to chew a piece as well. Guy 1 threw it to Guy 2 and he missed, having it land on the floor.

Guy 1: Dude, pick it up and eat it
Guy 2: No, man. I'll eat the next piece if you throw it and it lands on the floor if you eat that piece that's there.
Guy 1: Sure man
He proceeds to eat the gum of the floor
Guy 2: You're disgusting
Guy 1: What 5-second rule. That was like 2 seconds, its fine.
Me and beautiful smartly dressed woman are looking at each other mouths hanging wide open.
Guy 1: Right....5 second rule.
Guy 2: Yea man. That was cool.
Girl w/2 guys: You guys are dickeads
Guy 2: Yea, we are. We never said we weren't.
Guy 1: Yea, we're 2 dickheads.
Me and beautiful smartly dressed woman are still looking at each other mouths hanging wide open.
Guy 1 (to my shocked insta-friend): Yea, that was cool right. 2-second rule.
Insta-friend: Dude, I don't want you to talk to me out of fear that you may spit when you talk and I'll get a disease. You realize you just ate something off the subway floor. This is why brown people think white people are crazy.
Guy 1: White people are crazy.

We totally need to be friends for real. Sadly, I got of the train, mouth open, amused and fled off into the night. NYC is a crazy town.

Asian girl's revenge

That Asian Girl that I pissed off on Friday nite sent her cosmic Asian
homegirl after me!

I bought a bed off of craigslist. A beautiful barely used bed for $35.
Yes...$35. A steal!!!! Wouldn't common sense say that ummm....I'm a
chick and when I said I found a car to move it from ur place to
mine...to have it ready?! No...
I called to say I was on my way.
I called to say I was downstairs.
And yet..I still had to wait for her to clear it off and carry it
downstairs...which! She had to do in heels.
Ba!
I realize I don't like people who are unprepared. You have to have some
type of charisma about you.
Don't do things so cut and dry...evne though I am very blunt. I know how
to clean it up and set it up so that it doesn't cut you off at the
ankles.
So...in the middle of loading everything into my hired van (omg! This is
costing me $$!) she's like...you didn't pay me. So...I say here! And
hand her the money, now lets carry the boxspring. Did she think I was
going to drive off and not pay her?
Wha?

That pissed me off a lot. But...I guess that was the price I had to pay
for a $35 bed (mattress, boxspring, frame w/wheels and all)

Hell if that wasn't an awesome trade-off.
I had the best sleep I've had since I moved into my place.

PS. Your invitation to frozen cosmos has been revoked.

To Whom it may concern:

Dear People of NYC:

Take a fucking shower!

No, middle aged man, putting Old Spice on funky underarms does not count. Funk + Old Spice = Funky Old Spice. 20-something woman, have some respect for yourself. A comb and a toenail clipper would serve you well right now. Gnarly White man, you smell like coleslaw! Abort! Abort!

All of you served to turn my stomach this morning. And so what! My face looks like this. At least I smell like lavendar baby oil. So there!

Respectfully,

J

hahahahah fuck u!

oh yea...remember the invite situation...

NO ONE SHOWED UP!

that's what you get when u put bad karma in the air.

BITCH!

it's not that i feel like calling people evil names is fun..its just that i was fucked with and i think its funny that they were compromised in return.
cuz i brings the fun to any occassion..

hahahaha

lemme stop..i'm having a party in feb..don't want to get bad karma biting me in the butt...