microwave love

so i made claude dinner for his birthday on the 22nd. i made bacon-covered bbq chicken with roasted potatoes and asparagus. i decorated his dining area with christmas lights, candles and flowers. he even had a freakin gift. that meal was delicious, too. everything was purple- his fave color. even the special drink i made him was purple. i wore a purple top and a tight skirt and thigh high boots that kept falling because my thighs are smaller now. boom!

(yes, claude's real name starts with a j..sneaky...lol)

he was really appreciative and i was tipsy so we went into the bedroom and made the sex for 3 minutes and 49 seconds. lit'rally.

 and carlos is still buzzing around and convincing me of something...what that something is, i have no idea, yet. i guess to not friend zone him. maybe, he's trying to convince me to take my time. i'm a woman of the 00's. i want my shit now. i want my love microwaved so that when it buzzes and i open the door, butterflies and doves fly out at me. so, we're in this weird dance. i'm mildly aware of him.

 his birthday was the 27th. we went to see the secret life of walter mitty. awesome movie. and i just kept staring at his eyelashes. they're like a doll's. ridiculous. and he kept staring at my lips. and then the last hour we were together, we both knew the date (??) was winding down so i kept staring at his mouth.


 but no kiss happened. except the one he planted on my cheek because i don't want to be the bold one to kiss him first. i want him to kiss me, unexpectedly and hold me in his strong ass arms. i sometimes thing this whole thing is stupid. more than sometimes. that is my entire opinion. if you want someone. get them. work out all that extra shit later.

 instead, he knows that i'm banging claude. and going out on dates with other dudes. and living my life and wtf for? because he's not ready. i just don't get it.

 so, i was on a pseudo date with some random. there is always a random dude hanging around. anywho, i was in his filthy apartment listening to reggae music. and i was like.....tell me the truth, whats your situation? dude caught his girl cheating on him...like in the house with another dude type situation. and he still wants to be with her. but she wants a "break"

 say wha???

 and i told him about claude and not about carlos. and we started drinking dark liquor and then i left before shit got real this morning...whoa...real life hangover.