Boys Boys Boys Pt 3

The next day, I feel really good about the sex but really awful that it was Matt. So, I text him.

Me: How do you feel about last night?
Him: I feel like it was something that was going to happen...it was inevitable. I'm glad we got it out of the way.
Me: Yea, I wanted to fuck you for a long time. I don't want anything extra from you, though.
Him: Me too. I wanted to do that for the longest but you know how I feel about relationships.

Which basically means, he avoids them like Dracula avoids the Sun.

We were square.
I went to Europe. It was awesome. I came back horny.

Clinton and I met up one late night. I went to his house and we had sexytime. It was 1 position, short and I was a little disappointed. I mean, the first time we went for hours and hours but this time was just....quick. He apologized. He said he'd already masturbated before he knew I was coming but he did eat me out until I climaxed which was awesome. lol...he's a giver, that guy.

I slept over. We spooned. The next day, he had to get up early for work. I wanted a quickie but he was in a bad mood saying how tired he was and I felt guilty.

So, here's the picture:
me, Clinton and his dog leaving his house. They (him and the dog) waited for me to catch the bus, he kisses me goodbye and I pet the dog.
It felt like we were...together.

And that's where I kind of lost my footing.

That picture was so emblazoned in my mind and I was so geeked. I was going to buy him a bed in a bag because he had mismatched sheets...
I told my coworkers...I had stars in my eyes.

Not even a week later, I was PMS'ing. I felt like my job was shit. I hate everyone. I texted him. He told me about his job interview. He was so excited, he just had to send them some samples. I was my encouraging self. Then I told him I was having a bad day.

And I got..........................................nothing.

For 4 fucking days, he was silent.

So, I text him. You guys know I'm not taking that shit.
Me: So, *crickets* That's all you have to say?
Him: Sorry, with the new job, I don't have access to my phone.
Me: Yeah.....okay.

And that was the end of that. Radio silence for a few weeks. 
I was a little hurt because I thought at the end of the day, we could be FRIENDS. I didn't want him to take me out and introduce me to his friends or anything but a little support.

Whatever.

Boys Boys Boys Pt 2

So, I'd met Clinton in junior high. I didn't know him well but we reconnected a few years ago because of course...I'm a makeup artist. He's a photographer.

Chad had stood me up on one of those jaunts where "he didn't have his phone" and I'd planned on going to a friend's birthday party. I said, fuck it. One monkey don't spoil no show...I went looking super sexy. There were weird people at the party and Clinton was my boyfriend for the night.

Fast forward to January.
One random night, I invited him over for tacos and Love Jones.

Random Fact: I've never watched the entire movie with a man that I was dating. I feel like once that happens, I will just marry the guy...lol

Halfway through, I sat on Clinton's lap. We started kissing and it was a wrap.

The first time you sleep with someone usually sucks. It was good but then I'm so tight that the friction from the my tightness and the latex in the condom just didn't jibe and we had to stop.

It was about 2 weeks before I was set to leave.
I have had a crush on The Nigerian's friend for a long time. What was the last you heard The Nigerian pop up? Mmkay? Anyway, he knows I hate TN but we're still friends. Let's call him Matt. He had a pajama party for his housewarming. I'm thinking...oooh super sexy pajamas. I show up in a slinky sexy robe, lace slip, garters on and 4 inch black patent leather pumps. It's his cousins and they're in flannel pajamas.

*record scratch*

There was 1 girl who had the same idea and we huddled together in the corner and had intellectual conversation to prove we aren't sluts. As the night progressed, his male cousins came and it was time for me to GO.

I came back about a week later and we watched a movie, hung out and watched Silver Linings Playbook. There's a scene where Jenifer Lawrence slaps the shit out of Bradley Cooper.
I look at him with a glint of light in my eye. He instinctively scoots away from me. But, there's this tension. Suddenly, he asks me what type of woman am I sexually...how adventurous am I? I tell him about the bathroom thing with Chad and I had sex in a restaurant before....and the tension builds and builds.

Out of nowhere, I was talking and he just grabs me and starts kissing me like his world is ending. Like...grabs my face and holds me so I can't move and  I feel all his strength and I was so taken aback. I'd never seen that side of him before.

After, the kiss, we just watch the movie like nothing happened.
His hand is on my knee. My hand is on his thigh and then I straddel him. He rocks me back and forth kissing me, holding me in this crazy embrace. He gets a phonecall. His roommate/cousin comes home.
Okay.

His cousin/roomie goes into his room and keeps his door open. His room faces the living room. We stare at each other...the other not knowing what to do.
I say...are we going to finish what we started?

Matt grabs my hand and takes me into his room where we have glorious sexy time. Again, he's not packing a lot either but he knew what he was doing. He knows how to handle a woman.

Now that I think of it, every time a man asks me to watch a movie, my panties end up coming off...smh

It's late and I don't feel like going home even though it's only a few blocks away. I really should've gone home. His bed was the best thing about the night. It was big and he had fuzzy sheets. He kept music on all night. We didn't cuddle and he had to get up at like 5am.

I didn't get much sleep and it was my day off.
We talked after and we're still friends. After The Nigerian and the whole DK debacle, I vowed no more Africans. I wouldn't mind playing in the sack with him but anything else would be too much.

More boy tales...

Boys Boys Boys

This year, so far, I've slept with 2 people, have dated 4 or 5 and am currently plotting on someone to be my boyfriend.

I'm busy. lol

Where do we begin?
Chad. I met Chad on match dot com.
Whoa. Match was a huge waste of my cotdamn time. Seriously, they charged me the amount for my left titty and the same dudes from POF are on there. Chad was trouble. He was an amateur body builder and he was so complimentary of me...oh, you're so beautiful. hi gorgeous...y'know.

It was....nice. lol...what? I'm vain.
Anyway, first date. We ate at a Peruvian restaurant that we happened to stumble upon. He was all over me. His kisses were nice. His hands were like an octopus, man. I really had to take a step back and be like...woosaahhhhh.

We held hands and walked around the city. He walked me home and we kissed in front of my apartment. This ninja tried to come up. (of course, he tried) and I said no, although my panties were wet. lol.

Well, we went from texting all day everyday to me not hearing from him for almost a week.

He came back, saying.....he had to take his phone to get fixed. He didn't have it.

Mmmkay. *skeptical look*

But he really wanted to see my beautiful face and so I let him take me to the movies.

In the middle of Flight, he started rubbing on me and things got hot and heavy and he started fingering me in the theatre.

Yes, because we are 14 years old.

I'm hanging my head in shame.
After the movie ends, we're hanging around the theatre kissing like teenagers. He pulls me into the bathroom and we proceed to have sex.

*GASP*

Ok, so my count was off in the beginning of the post. That makes 3 people I slept with this year....but I don't really think this should count...WHY???
Well...
His penis was the size of my index finger in length and girth. I was sooo sad. He had the sexiest abs, arms and chest. I could really have kissed each part of him except the fun stick because everything else was nice and big and delicious. Ok..so, his penis is small...that's fine...he can make up for it by his tongue or his fingers or sheer stamina. He works out everyday, he can work out by trying to make me climax....

Yo, he lasted for a good minute. If that. I think we got in 5 pumps and that was it. I know the look on my face was like...REALLY??? I don't use the 'n' word but that was one instance, I really wanted to.

But, he was really loving and sweet after and the first part of the story was hot and so I rolled with it.

Then, I didn't hear from him for 3 days again.

And then he pops up like nothing happened.

DUDE....to the left...to the left...Ain't nobody got time for the shenanagins.

So, that was that.
He was nice to look at.


Oh...and then he popped up again on WWF while I was in London and I beat him by 300 points. He was cute but had like 1 marble rolling around in his head.

I'm Alive

*taps mic*
Hey guys, I'm still here...alive and well... And well...I've missed telling you things..like old friends that lost touch. I want to catch you all up and it's going to take some time...

If anyone still reads this blog.
 I also want to get some new fresh blog meat happening.... If you have a blog, comment and I will add you to the roll and read everything you ever wrote.

  Anyways...TRAVEL!

I did go to London, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. I left Jan 31 and came back Feb 11th. Travel changed me in ways I didn't expect. It refocused me into what/who I want and it made me more badass. True story: Now, I don't take anyone's shit. I used to be mad passive. Now, I'm just like...no, fuck you. When it's appropriate, of course. And since I'm fauxnonymous. Meaning, you guys know who I am but for the most part, I still write like an anonymous blogger...here are the links to my European adventure from my other blog.

I will update as I get the chance

Whatchu Want?

I understand that what we want changes over time. It is as human as how our favorite song evolves once we hear new songs or our needs evolve as we get older. At this juncture in my life, I’m not quite sure what it is I want from a relationship. If, a relationship at all. Some think that I have given up on love. By some, I mean the bickering voices in my head that tell me conflicting things. The need, the desire to be loved is constant. It is poignant. It is something that can not be ignored. What happens when it has for a long time? Does the human spirit just eat itself, like someone lost in the wild without food that makes the choice to eat his own hand or face death? At times, I feel like I have given up on love in the way that a child throws a tantrum and says that they are no longer your friend. Or maybe, I’m playing hide and seek with love. I was the one that was tagged “it” and love had a really great hiding place. The areas where I thought love lay; it was just its cousins, infatuation, lust and possession. So, where am I now? I’m not quite sure. I feel like I’m waiting for something big to happen. For someone to rattle me to the core. Someone who will make me change everything that I’ve known or thought or felt. I’ve never really wanted a grandiose expression of said love, just an inkling for me to know that it is there. Willing. Waiting eagerly for me to recognize it and that it was not hiding all along.

Energy

I think about blogging all the time. My life is ever shifting. My personality changing. My character becoming something molded by my experiences – the things I see and the people around me. Lately, I’ve been tired of everything around me. I’m starting to hate NYC, the closer I get to my trip to Europe. On the train, there were 3 people begging back to back, loud obnoxious kids and a black dude rapping along with his iPod only to the words that included “nigga.” I cringed every 5 seconds when he said it. Are other places like this? I haven’t been sleeping well lately, relying on Pepsi and Starbucks to keep me awake during the day. My anxiety/insomnia keeps me awake at night. My eczema is horrible now. Every day at work since a week before Black Friday, there has been some new drama at work. It keeps getting progressively worse. Are other jobs like this? I like a guy who has canceled his plans with me 3 times in a row, yet I still am there, texting him and making future plans. In his defense, he’s a freelancer and he doesn’t quite know when his next check is coming from. So, he gets jobs unexpectedly and he has to do it. Meh. In my defense, it helps me to not get so attached to him because in the back of my mind, I’m leaving for Europe and I may not come back home. I’m seriously bringing resumes with me. There’s so much to catch you guys up on. Hopefully, I have the energy to do it.

gosh!

thank you to everyone who reached out during hurricane sandy.

everyone i know is fine.
however, when that bitch athena - the noreaster came...she knocked out half my house's power.

so, the living room and dining room have power but my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom don't.
luckily, the boiler seems to be working so we're not freezing.


i'm still planning eurotrip13.
at first, i thought london, paris, rome.
then, rome started getting fuzzy because: a. it's far from paris and b. it's far from london where i would need to fly out of...

now, it's london, paris, brussels, amsterdam, london.
via train.

i'm trying to book my travel now...so, fingers crossed.

i found a megabus from london to paris for $8!!!

once, figuring out where i'll be is done...it's the lovely job of figuring out where i'll stay...and then what i'll do and then what to pack and then how to get to jfk!

so geeked.

also, the book will be released formally on saturday!!! oh em gee!!!

so many exciting things going on....

the running joke is once i go to europe, i'm not coming back...which i'm kinda not joking about...i really want to stay and work in london and travel travel travel....

fingers crossed guys...like, for serious.