Woosahhhhhhh

Today was my last day of work and it was......uneventful. I got lots of hugs and gave out my number to lots of people I hope will NEVER use it. There were many many questions of...."where are you going" and "can I come too?"

Sidenote: How do I forget my password to blogger when its the same password I have for every account? then I change it and forget that password too?

A mess! (LOL)

Anyway...I have learned a lot from this job. I'm more than a little nervouse to go from trainer to trainee but tfor $4 more per hour, I think I can handle it.

I created a Vision Board in 10 minutes using Picasa. Its basically a photo collage of things that I wan it in the new year. I may do one for each month to keep me focused on what I can accomplish...I'm not sure if I said this in the last post but this year, I want to be "on it." I want each month to push me further toward my goals. i need to be focused and accomplish something! I'm the type of person that needs a plan - the big picture. I sometimes get overwhelmed by the big picture so I need to break it down into smaller less-overwhelming bites.

This is my vision board for 2012. (From top left to righ)

I want to experience God in a new way. I know this will take more effort from me because God meets you where you are. This picture also represents peace and serenity.

I need to save more money.

Speaking of money, I want to have more of a strategy behind my actions. I want to plan, follow the steps and go through with the plan so it will work

Next...Of course, I want love. I need love...I can't remember the last time I was kissed...i'm sure it was Aussie back in....september?? too long!!!

I want to redecorate my apartment.

I need balance. I find myself going off the deep end with most things and losing myself in work, in church, in whatever...if I could just keep my head.

TRAVEL! Give me a night flight....beautiful!

I want to go back to school this year.

I also want to upgrade my style and get serious about my fitness.

I want to drink less soda and do better with my dance at church

And I want to be driving a car by this time next year...it is 12 degrees tonight and I was on the bus. NO BUENO.

What are your new year plans (not resolutions). Do you have a vision board?

2012 > 2011

Hello Loves!

I am super tired. I told myself I would clean my house and get on the ball today but halfway through the day, I said "eff it"...I am tired.

Sunday night (Dec. 25th) I took a plane home from North Carolina (stories to come soon) and woke up Monday morning to go to work. Went to work each day. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning were 3 hour dance rehearsals. Saturday (yesterday, NYE) I went to work at 7:30 - 4:30. Went to church for 5:30. Basically danced from then until 10:30. Went home and was in bed by 11:45. My body is like...seriously?

Anyways..I guess I have some 'splaining to do.

Job

Retail is the type of business where people come and people go - that's just the nature of things ...most of the time, when folks leave, they don't even give notice. So..when I gave 4 days notice...I thought it would be no problem.

All the managers I have were called in for a crisis intervention.

I was told that I am a valued employee...they've invested into me...it feels like a slap in the face...yadda yadda yadda

and then I hit them with the blank stare.

they resorted to threats.

If you don't give us the full 2 weeks notice...we're going to make it so that you can never work for any estee lauder company ever again. estee lauder owns 40% of the cosmetic brands out there. fyi.

so, of course i gave them the effing 2 weeks.

Luckily, the new job understood and allowed me to take the full 2 weeks....I am so aggravated. One of my bosses..the one who actually interviewed me for the position was like..we're sad to see you go. all i could was give an awkward smile.

and then i giggled nervously and my manager gave me the side-eye so i walked away.

anywho..i start the new job on thursday! woot woot!

Prayer Changes Thangs

Hey Boos!!
Thank you for your prayers...I didn't realize you guys left comments because for some reason, my comments weren't going to my email.

Anyways....


They worked!!!!

I got the job!! I will be making $4 more per hour + 3% commission on everything I sell.

So.....I made $202,202 at the current job in 5 months. That translated to $303 each week extra I could've been paid.

I'm excited and a little scared. Commission sales are hard. The chicks at my job went IN and we weren't getting paid on comm. I'm pretty sure I can do the job and do it well but I will go from training folks to being trained. To knowing every aspect of the job to not knowing anything at all.

All these what-ifs are clouding my head...what if I get fired for not making sales? What if no one likes me? What if? What if? What if?

I've been relying on prayer to get me through most days lately...prayer will definitely see me through. What-ifs paralyze us. I'm done with being stuck.

Now...how do I tell my boss I want to leave? And before Secret Santa happens? And my gratis (free stuff) is almost within my reach as well....AND I love my Account Exec from Clinique. How do I tell her I'm leaving but want to maintain my relationship with her. So many questions.....*le sigh*

I'm sure it will all get sorted out somehow.

Scary

I vow to post at least 2 -3 times per week.

I wasn't blogging as much because my life has really been uneventful. I need to make some events happen.

Soooo...I've been a little under the weather this week. I went to the grocery store yesterday and I bought some soup, Theraflu and orange juice. When I checked my balance later on in the day, I was in the negative the amount of money the groceries cost...which was funny because I had more than enough in my account.

I called Chase.
"Oh, Department of Taxation and Finance (IRS) seized the funds in your account because you owe $1027 in taxes.
:-O

Many things ran through my mind...oh my God..my account is frozen. My check is being direct deposited. I'll have no money....

"I won't know more until tomorrow. Call back, ma'am"

I hung up and was a little more than worried. Why the eff would they do this around Christmas time?

Backstory:
Last year, I was on Unemployment. The nice folks at UI did not take out federal taxes even though I opted to have taxes taken out. Apparently, they only take out state and not federal taxes. Oh...the idocy. So.....I ended up owing $900 in taxes. Wouldn't common sense say that if someone is on unemployment benefits, they can't afford to pay $900 in taxes immediately? No. No? Ok. Here's where I effed up at....I pushed it in the back of my mind.

We're in a recession...the federal government is not playing with its money. So, I will call them tomorrow and get a payment plan poppin.

In the meantime, my direct deposit should be available to me as my account is not frozen...
What's messing me up is that...my account is overdrawn, a payment to my gas company was rejected and my phone bill is coming out + i have gifts to buy...i will have little money to work with this week. Crayyyyy....

Now.Next

Every day I complain about work on Twitter.  I didn't realize this until one of my followers volunteered to pray for me. Crazy.

On my day off yesterday, I prayed a small prayer asking God to help me find something better and give me favor with my applications I'm sending so that I can move forward.

Last week, a girl who works at Chanel quit. She found a job at Macys paying $20 per hour + 3% commission on everything she sells. She's working for a pretty expensive brand and so...she could easily take home an extra thousand each week. Crazy. I had been wrestling within myself between loyalty to this company and their promises of a raise in January and starting over. When I thought about it...I knew what I had to do but I really just didn't want to....

I created an awesome cover letter, updated my resume and fired it off to Macys and Bloomingdales.

Today, Twin called as he always does at the butt crack of dawn...read 9am. I ignored his call since I didn't technically have to be at work until 1:15 and up out of bed til 11:30. The phone rang again. It was Macy's!  They wanted an interview. Thursday. At 5! Yes. Yes. Yes.

The lady said something interesting. She said that they wanted to interview me before (probably 6 months ago when I was still looking) but for some reason, the interview email didn't go through.

Honestly, I think it was God's doing. 6 months ago, I had no retail experience. I had no knowledge of how a cosmetics counter worked, the dynamics of the business, marketing or anything. In 6 months, I have learned so much. Ive done everything I was asked...from training people to business reports...not because of any reason except that I needed that bullet point on my resume. And I'm hoping those bullet points equal dollar bills.

And..today....
There were no hangers available in the locker room. I put my coat in an empty locker. When I went to retrieve it, my coat was missing. I searched high and low. Someone moved my coat out of the locker and into the Loss Prevention office. Why? I don't know. As I was searching, the locker my coat was in was still empty. There were other things in presumed empty lockers. Why was my coat moved?

No one knows. I'm sick of the senseless shit that goes down.

If I stay...because in my head...they're going to beg me to stay....I want to be in the buying office. Or at a job where I sit at a desk job.
And get paid more.

Last week my boss said I need to dress more professionally and less edgy. I bought 2 pairs of pants and a blazer on sale and at the Salvation Army for $60 and I have to eat soup for the rest of the week. The first day wearing the blazer, I was color-matching a makeup and the makeup exploded as soon as I squeezed it and got all over me. So, you want me to dress like a fashion model when my clothes are just going to be ruined!? And really, who am I impressing?  I don't care.

So.. I hope I ace this interview and can give my notice before the year is out. Pray for me! Clearly, it works! Who applies for a job at 9:30 at night and gets a call back the next morning?

pressure

i'm sorry i haven't really been updating. there hasn't been much to write about.
at this point in my life, the buzzword is PRESSURE.

i feel pressure at work to perform and be superwoman.
i feel pressure at church to have this image of a young woman who has it together and is a leader
i feel pressure in dance to be a leader, come up with choreography, be this on-fire person for God which isn't me all the time.
i feel pressure at home from bills and the money is just NOT THERE.
i feel pressure in my personal life to find a man, get married and knocked up.

i am so tired. it is 9pm and i just want to rest.

my resolution is to get myself together this week. this way of life aint cuttin it.

hope ya'll are well.

besos.

budget living

the past two weeks, i have given myself a pretty strict budget.
my bills are out of control. i don't really know what i'm spending money on...i'm a mess.
this week, i'm a bit more structured. all of my money is in envelopes marked what it is for. no dipping in other envelopes and i see clearly where my money is...

i got the bright idea thursday night that for my birthday...feb 4th....i want to spend 2 nights in my fave hotel. my bday is on a saturday. friday, i would check in to wake up on BDAY to some champagne, roses and room service; spend the day at the hotel spa and have a fabulous dinner that night. i would check out on sunday.

my fave hotel is the gansevoort.
so, i did some research.

umm...they want $319 per night. O.o

so, i did some more research.
of course, i live in nyc. a nice hotel in a posh neighborhood where the room is bigger than a utility closet will AT MINIMUM cost me $174 per night. hotel spas are a rip off...i'm talking $400 for a damn 60-minute massage. for $400, i want tyson beckford to be my masseuse licking chocolate off my back. OK!

anywhosies...
i did sign up for spa week and i'm looking at some deals.
i'm also on hotels.com...
thank goodness time is on my side!

every year, my birthday has sucked! the best year was probably 2010..my launch party. when i told twin today my bday plans..he was like..ok...so, who is going to be with you? i said..no one. i want to wake up alone on my birthday, reflect on my year, relax at the spa by myself...the dinner will be planned in advance and whoever shows up, shows up. no reservations. no tracking people down. i'm done. if i end up eating alone, i'm good with that too. if i want my birthday to be great, its up to me! he was like...you going back to the hotel alone? i would rather not...but honestly, i have had no appetite for having sex with anyone. don't get me wrong..i love sex. having sex is fun. but there is no one i would want to have sex with right now. hopefully, i'll have a birthday boo but for now...i am good.

crazy coworker 1 aka shy got fired on thursday. so, i will be picking up extra hours...i will work every friday (if i can) until they replace her which will be at least a good month or two AND the holidays are here so that means overtime as well! according to my calculations, if i can save $60 every week, i will be able to afford a decent hotel with the roses/champagne/spa day and dinner. if i work it enough, maybe an outfit or some new shoes. if i do at least 6 extra hours a week, i can save up some extra $$ for some extra perks. my budget is TIGHT so i need to make some magic happen.

also, i have to think about what i'm getting some folks for christmas. literally 5 people are getting gifts: my mom, twin, my godbaby, my dance leader and whoever impresses me from now until then. each gift will be under $50 and unique. my godbaby will probably get some diapers and formula or a savings bond or something.

i hate my job but a girl's gotta make it do what it do.

also...this weekend, i'm re-doing my resume. there's an internet cafe across from my job. everyday, i plan on spending $2/10 minutes sending out resumes on my lunch break. (it is not an effing game!)

if you guys have the hook-up for some nice hotels in nyc, let a sista know! please and thank you.