Boundaries

(Long post)

I had a talk with Twin about the last post. I mean...if anyone could smack some sense into me, it would be him.

So, he told me I was being irrational, expecting The Nigerian to understand where I was coming from. So, we spoke briefly. He still wanted me to come to his house. I did.

As soon as I walked through the door, he hugged and kissed me. I could tell he really missed me. I met another random friend of his. His friend conveniently left and I sat on his chair. He knelt in front of me and started kissing on my thighs, running his hand up and down my legs. He parted them open. Stop. He looked at me like a child who'd been caught sneaking cookies.

I explained to him my celibacy. He looked shocked but he understood but I could still see a little sexual frustration.

He stood me up and we danced barefoot to an African artist named, Eve. It was beautiful. It felt so spontaneous and romantic. He grabbed me from behind. I could feel his excitement. He turned me around. Fell to his knees. Unbuttoned my shirt. TN...I said. He said he wanted to look at me.

I protested of course. We danced some more and kissed.

"What's the problem?" he asked.
"I have boundaries and you should respect that."
"I have boundaries too. Don't talk to me in public. Don't touch my hair. Don't kiss in public. How does that make you feel? Restricted right? I don't want to have boundaries with you. I want to go with the flow."

That sounded good to me. He took off my shirt and bra and stared at me. He took of my skirt and body shaper (lol).

"I have my period."
"I wasn't going to look inside you."
He traced his fingers down my spine tattoo and kissed it. He sat me down and took off his shirt and shorts. He did a lil spin for me.

"Look at me like how I'm looking at you."

He is gorgeous.

He led me to his bedroom and we laid on his bed holding each other.

"I just wanted to cuddle." he said.
He called me mysterious woman and looked in my eyes. I told him that he was the mysterious one and he told me to ask him anything I wanted to know. Again, blank.

I asked him about his past relationships. He said, they are the past. Why bring them up? Hmmmmm. He said I should never compare myself to any woman. Ever. (True true, lol)

He flipped me over and kissed me, opened my legs, let me feel his hardness, licked and sucked my breasts, held me. He felt so good.

"I want to devour you," he said looking into my eyes while dry humping me. (Lol)

We laid down wrapped in each other, saying little. He dozed off a bit. I was lost in my own thoughts. my phone was keeping me anxious as it went off ever 5 minutes. I had to leave soon to go to the movie set. J would be calling.

He did. He called and I got up and dressed. Perfect timing because his friend came back as soon as I was dressed and re-applied my makeup.

I told him I was considering breaking my celibacy with him, which I am. I don't like anxious feeling I get from him surrounding the topic so I think I'll let him wait some more. Even after my period is long gone.

I've been around enough to know once you stay in the house, once you start having sex, once you stop going out...that's it. How do I put this brotha on ice without hurting his pride and ego?
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