I was pissed yesterday because I realized that I finally had a surplus in my account. I was going to get some jeans, go see a movie...do some fun stuff but then, I paid my phone bill twice (accidentally.) That pretty much ate up my surplus. I was broke. I told BFF and she kind of just made a weird noise like "eh" and changed the topic. To what? To her. I'm sick of baby talk! I'm sick of no-good Punjabi talk! Its like talking to a hamster stuck on the wheel while watching him run in circles. You're wasting your breath because the hamster is never going to get off the wheel but he loves complaining about it because it makes him feel less embarrassed that he started running on the wheel anyway.
I wasn't even asking her for money. If I were, it shouldn't be a problem because every time I've borrowed (which I can count on 1 hand in our 11 year friendship), I've given it all back and sometimes, then some...exactly when I said I would, which has not been more than 1-2 weeks.
Sometimes, I just need to TALK! That's why I blog, I guess.
SLA hit me up today. I didn't speak to her. I've never met another woman that needed that much validation in my life! Every single move she makes...she needs to check with someone that its ok. Her poor husband! Its so exhausting! She makes everything so complicated. I tell her sometimes...just do it! Just do whatever you want to do. Its always a song and dance. Case and point..she hit me up. Nina, I want to wear purple tights with an all black dress tomorrow. Me: sounds cute. Go for it. SLA: But...idk. Me: What?? SLA: I just don't know... *sigh*
I guess its kinda official. Gi and I are really not friends. I sent her a picture of Rocky and told her he was my new pup. She just sent me a text saying "cute dog." That was it. ::kanyeshrug:: I realize that you can't invest in everyone as your friend. Time. Energy. At the end of the day, sometimes, its just not worth it.
I am so drained. I am so tired.
Some things with me have GOT to change! I can't live like this anymore.
I dreamt last night that I was riding some type of animal across an open field. We were going fast. I think it was a cougar or cheetah. The sky was so blue. The trees were so green. I kept taking deep breaths. It was exhilarating. Then, we crossed a large body of water. It could've been a swamp but it was clean, not murky and I didn't feel the danger of snakes and other reptiles around. Maybe a river with lots of trees and high grass around. Then, I remember seeing a male and female lions on the shore and started hiding from them. I woke up. The main feeling I felt was freedom, excitement and being care-free. I wish I could bottle those feelings up and sip them every once in a while.
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