Monday, January 30, 2012



Work was slow. We're expected to make $1000 each every day this week. I made $186.

One of the chicks at work played rock music ALL.MORNING.LONG. Then switched to Lady Gaga and Madonna. Imagine listening to the same 4 songs every day for the past 3 weeks.

I bought weave hair 2 weeks ago so I could manage getting my hair done without it being SO MUCH MONEY. After work, I was tired but decided to go get my hair done (an hour away on the other side of Brooklyn on a cold ass day) only for my hairstylist to tell me my hair sucks and i should by a different brand because its not going to take well to heat. She then showed me how it would react to a curling iron and it melted. So now, I have to buy new hair.

Called Trini to vent about my hair and he called me out on wearing wigs. I don't know how I feel about it.

Today was super shitty and I pray tomorrow will be better. Its my birthday week after all.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


I got tagged by Starrla and Gorgeous a few days ago but since I'm awesome, it takes me a minute to blog.

1.You must post 11 random things yourself.

2.Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
3.Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

4.Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.

Let's get started!

11 Random Facts About Me:

1. I talk out loud to myself when I'm if I may be talking to another person. It is quite disturbing (even to me)

2. I am SUPER afraid of having feminine odor. I check myself 2-3x a day and if I'm with my dude, fuhgetaboudit!

3. I spend a lot of time in my own head.

4. I grew up being very picky about food. I've tried to rectify that in my adulthood but that hasn't happened yet.

5. I feel as though I'm socially awkward half of the time.

6. Only Wynsters knows about this personal blog. All my other friends (who see me on a consistent basis)  are clueless. I would love to keep it that way.

7. I am a very messy person in the house but my outer appearance is always meticulously put together. I'm desperately trying to change that. It is an uphill struggle.

8. I can sit in silence for hours whether by myself or with other people. This seems to make others very nervous when they're around me for some reason. This fact has been magnified by the fact that at work, there is always loud music playing and people talking ALL DAY. I crave silence when I'm at home.

9. I'm obsessed with Europe.

10. I would love the opportunity to be a TV anchor.

11. I always wonder how I'm being perceived by other people but I would never really ask.

Questions from Starrla
1. What inspires you?

a. What inspires me to be a makeup artist? Beauty. I see it in everything I look at and wish to create it in everything I do. b. What inspires me to keep keeping on? Fear of failure. I don't ever want to fail at anything and so that pushes me to persevere.

2. What is your earliest childhood memory?
My mom's funeral. I was 3 years old and I remember the burgundy carpet of the funeral home. Tons of people sitting down. Someone was wearing a blue jacquard shirt. My mom was in her casket. She was very dark-skinned with a black Jehri curl. I remember seeing angels around her singing. (It might have been the cheesy 80's funeral home background mural or real angels...what do I know?)

3. What is your favorite thing to cook/eat?
My favorite thing to cook is spaghetti with sweet sausage and spinach. Meal in 20 minutes. My favorite thing to eat is fried chicken with macaroni and cheese and collard greens. (so Negro!)
4. What's the name of your favorite book?
I have many favorites. The ones that stand out are: The Awakening by Kate Chopin, Wild Seed by Octavia Butler, A Love Noire/Hunger by Erica Simone Turnipseed,  Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Berg, The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenger and new favorite is: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Conan Boyle.

5. Do you remember your first love?
YES! It wasn't that long ago...he he
6. What is your dream job?
It used to be "makeup artist" and I have that. I'm now thinking....teacher.

7. Do you have any phobias?

8. If you had to lose one of your five senses, which one would it be?
We think we only have 5 ( )  we have more than I'm going to cheat and say temperature. If I didn't feel cold or hot that would be cool....but if I HAD to lose of the main 5, I would say touch.
9. Are you left handed or right handed?

10. Do you have any hidden talent?
I can whistle. (Lol) No, not really.

11. If you won $500,000 what would you do with it?
Pay off my debt and go back to school. College cost about a half a mill these days...smh

Gorgeous Pudding's Questions:
1. Are you currently doing what you want to do in life?
Yes and no. I love what I do. It's what I thought I wanted by now those wants are changing.
2. What is your absolute favorite way to have fun?
Being with people that make me laugh. I love to go out to eat and just be with good people. THAT is fun.
3. How many siblings do you have and what birth order are you?
8 siblings and I'm the BABY. (yea!)
4. What's your fantasy car.
Corvette. Blame Barbie! lol
5. Where is the last place you vacationed?
Texas. (Heyyy Trish!)
6. Do you wear jewelry and do you prefer gold or silver!
I never really wear anything. I prefer silver.

7. What's the best thing you've ever eaten?
My mom's lasagna.
8. What colors is your bathroom decorated with?
Blue, white and pink.

9. How often do you exercise?
Not often. :(
10. Do you want children? If you have children do you want more?
Yes! I would love a little person but they are hard work. I want the man first.
11. What is your least favorite food? If you had to eat it for 1 month for a million dollars could you?
Lima beans! Are we talking about it being the only things I eat or I would have to have a spoonful every day for a month???

Trish at Book of Me
Tiff at Caress the Fro
Monique at Unscripted Musings
Wynsters! (email me the answers)
Sunshine! (I checked your blog but am not sure if its active...comment please)

Re-tagging Starrla and Gorgeous Pudding just cuz I want them to answer my questions too. You don't have to post 11 more random facts.

Questions for Tagged Folks:
1. If you could change one decision you made in your life, what would it be?
2. Who is your favorite music artist?
3. If you could wake up tomorrow and were able to speak another language, what would it be?
4. Who's your celebrity crush?
5. Do you have any frenemies?
6. Have you ever been offered money or some other favor for a sexual act?
7. Have you ever had a one night stand?
8. If you could pet any animal without fear of being eaten or poisoned, what would it be?
9. What color describes your mood right now and why?
10. What was one thing you had to overcome to get to where you are in life right now?
11. What are your big hopes for the future?


Monday, January 23, 2012

Someone Like You

I went on a movie date last night with Trini. The plan was for me to get off work at 7 and meet him at the theatre at 7:30. When I got there, he was running, it ass me and the ((female)  ticket-taker making small talk. He had me waiting for like 20 minutes. When he came up...we hugged and he apologized for being late.
TT: (to me)  Ohhhh, you were waiting on him?
Me: Mmmmhmmmm
Trini: Ya'll were talking about me?
Me: Of course not.
TT: I can't believe you kept her waiting!
Trini: See, what had happened was....I was here earlier an essence, I was waiting on her.
TT: I don't think I should let you in. You don't deserve her company....making her wait like that.
Me: She has a point there
Trini: You're supposed to be on my side!
Me:  *shrugs*
Trini: You want me to leave?
Me: No....
TT: We'll let you slide this time. Make sure it doesn't happen again..
(Did I mention....I don't know this woman from Adam.)
We get our seats. He goes down to the concession stand. He comes back up and says to me...
Trini: Ummmm.....that lady might give you a funny look when we leave.
Me: Why?
Trini: I told her you kicked me out the theatre with no coat ir hat or anything because I was late. I said, "I told her it wouldn't happen again but she wouldn't listen." So, I'm hoping this soda and popcorn will help my case.
I laughed so loud!  Who does that?
Haywire was a good movie. I'm going to look up the actress. They were hitting her like a man. I have to see if the stunts were done by her.
When we left the theatre, the ticket-taker gave me a handshake and said good job. He gasped.
To be continued......

Monday, January 16, 2012

Almost 26

I was talking to this kid at my job and he was just so....young.

The way he spoke to me...the things he said...I wondered about myself. If that were me years ago. All I could do was shake my head. I turned to my coworker and said, "How old do you think that kid is?"


 "Geez...I'm old. 19 seems so...young now, doesn't it?"

"It sure does." (she's 29)

My birthday is on the 4th of February and the planning is well under way...I just have to organize the outfit and the hair and the actual itinerary for the day. Everyone in my immediate circle should know its my day and should begin to shower me with love and treat me like a princess.... :)

 There's kind of a guy in the picture..but not really. His name is...Trini. I met him at the Marquez-Pacquiao fight party I forgot to blog about back in November. He was super cool and comfortable to talk to since my friends were kind of booed up for the night. He's 42. Had 3 kids, a boy and 2 girls (2 of which are twins, I forget which.) He was married for 12 yrs and has been divorced for about a year. His oldest is 11 and his youngest are 8. He works for the Board of Ed in Maintenance and works nights. We have been talking ever since the fight, frequently sending each other pics of ourselves, calling and texting. We haven't been on a date yet which kind of bugs me but not as much as you think it would. Our schedules are crazy and part of me thinks he's scared. When I bring it up, he says he hasn't been on a date with someone since he and his wife started dating 20 years ago. He says he feels as if he were in jail for the past 12 years and the whole dating world is different. He wants to take it slow. We're taking it slow. We're friends.

I like him, though.

 He calls when he says he will. He always sends me messages to let me know he is thinking of me. He makes me smile and laugh. I feel secure with him (for the most part) I talked to my brother about him when I was in SC. He said he thinks its a bad idea to try and date him because of his age and the fact that he already has a family. He feels as though he wouldn't want to build anything with me because he's already done that. My bro has a point.

 Today, me and Trini were talking. He said, "My friend tried to set me up on a blind date. I wasn't having that. I knew the lady was older than me. We kind of just talked first. She was telling me about dating. She's divorced after 20 years of marriage. I thought I was crying...I know she is really crying. Being divorced from the person I thought I would be with forever is really tough. I'm not even going to lie to you. Anyway, we had an interesting conversation. It's not going to go anywhere but she's good to talk to."....."I told my friend about you. I told her I met a nice young woman whom I have crazy chemistry with. She has a beautiful smile and is always laughing and easy to talk to. She's smart, ambitious and is mad cool. I'm not sure where this is going to go. I want to take this year to get myself together after this divorce. I need to figure out who I am. I would be kidding myself if I didn't say that I want female company...whether its a friends with benefits relationship or whatever. I wish I could be friends with someone, we chill, we laugh and talk and we know where we stand with each other." He flat out told me what he wants without putting it in black and white but it kind of is...

I told BFF this year... "I am not going to expect things from people that they either can't or are unwilling to give me."

Friends with benefits...ummmmm...been there done ducking from the person that was with. I respect him for telling me straight up. I really don't expect someone who has been out of the scene for 20 years to want to be with the first girl he meets post-divorce. BUT, I do have to be honest with myself and what I want...I want to be someone's girlfriend, fiance, then wife. I want to have children and build a home together.

Where do we go from here???

He didn't definitively say that he want FWB with me. I haven't (successfully) had sex in a year. I say successfully because the little 5 mins with Aussie was aborted due to it being terribly painful and me bleeding a little bit after he tried to penetrate me with his giant penis. (lol)

Do I want to have sex? Hell yea. Is this an area of my life I should probably leave to God and have Him work it out? Yes. Is he sexy and do I want to jump him? Hell yea. Ultimately, I do want to take my time. Enjoy a friendship with him and see where it goes from there. I invited him to my birthday dinner. He told me he was jumping out the cake and sent me a half-naked picture of himself.

Two words: Geez Louise.

Sunday, January 8, 2012


I have the weekend off! Yay!
I get one full weekend off per month with the new job and this was it.
I'm excited. I hope that its the 1st weekend of every month just so that I can have my bday weekend...( month) off. I'm new so, I can't really call out or go around requesting stuff so...I'm just going to say a little prayer.
I took advantage of the weekend by doing grocery shopping (care of BFF.) My Christmas gift was 3 bags of groceries which I said hell yes to...I didn't go IN. I just got some fruit, juice, milk, stuff to make spaghetti with and some donuts. After I got home, there was all this stuff I WISHED I'd thought of although I had a list... groceries really are saving me this week since my paycheck was kind of short and the next paycheck will be as well...changing jobs never really have great overlap.
I have some big plans for this year and I'm trying to put them all into motion. I think slowly but surely, I am. These things are attainable.
I think I need to see a doctor or change my eating habits or something. The whole week I felt super-lethargic. I would look at my living room (which I am pulling up the carpet and putting down vinyl tile and just go into my bedroom (where the floor is literally covered in clothes) and just go to sleep. I would put in maybe 30 minutes of work and then lay down.
That is the main reason I didn't want to run around this weekend...I really just wanted some rest.
This week, I plan to get back "on" it and really get moving on my home projects. The next big event is my birthday. I am kind of dragging my feet making plans.
Firstly, I hate group dinners in my honor. I really would like a date. But....a month left and there's no one there that I would want to take me out....*sigh*
A few months ago, Twin asked what I wanted to do on my day....I said, Enjoy a spa day alone. Have my hair fly and go on a date with someone hot (and maybe a little bday acttion)
I'm not sure what I want to do and I definitely don't want to spend the evening alone but I don't want a big crowd.
Can someone hook me up with a date? I like black, attractive, smart, funny, sane and taller than 5"7. Please and thank you.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Kid on the Block

Today was my 1st day at the new gig. At lunch, I was looking around and I was like ... Wow. This is so much better than the old job. For more money and half the headache. Wow. I LOVE IT. Then I decided that I was getting ahead of myself and I should probably give it a month or so.
Of course...there are problems and problematic people.
No one seems happy which my last job taught me
Is a red flag.
Most of the problems stem from a certain can stay away from her and be cool.
I've also decided to keep to myself in general. Less conflict. Everything seems like its going to be okay. :)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


Today was my last day of work and it was......uneventful. I got lots of hugs and gave out my number to lots of people I hope will NEVER use it. There were many many questions of...."where are you going" and "can I come too?"
Sidenote: How do I forget my password to blogger when its the same password I have for every account? then I change it and forget that password too?
A mess! (LOL)
Anyway...I have learned a lot from this job. I'm more than a little nervouse to go from trainer to trainee but tfor $4 more per hour, I think I can handle it.
I created a Vision Board in 10 minutes using Picasa. Its basically a photo collage of things that I wan it in the new year. I may do one for each month to keep me focused on what I can accomplish...I'm not sure if I said this in the last post but this year, I want to be "on it." I want each month to push me further toward my goals. i need to be focused and accomplish something! I'm the type of person that needs a plan - the big picture. I sometimes get overwhelmed by the big picture so I need to break it down into smaller less-overwhelming bites.

This is my vision board for 2012. (From top left to righ)
I want to experience God in a new way. I know this will take more effort from me because God meets you where you are. This picture also represents peace and serenity.
I need to save more money.
Speaking of money, I want to have more of a strategy behind my actions. I want to plan, follow the steps and go through with the plan so it will work
Next...Of course, I want love. I need love...I can't remember the last time I was kissed...i'm sure it was Aussie back in....september?? too long!!!
I want to redecorate my apartment.
I need balance. I find myself going off the deep end with most things and losing myself in work, in church, in whatever...if I could just keep my head.
TRAVEL! Give me a night flight....beautiful!
I want to go back to school this year.
I also want to upgrade my style and get serious about my fitness.
I want to drink less soda and do better with my dance at church
And I want to be driving a car by this time next is 12 degrees tonight and I was on the bus. NO BUENO.
What are your new year plans (not resolutions). Do you have a vision board?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012 > 2011

Hello Loves!
I am super tired. I told myself I would clean my house and get on the ball today but halfway through the day, I said "eff it"...I am tired.
Sunday night (Dec. 25th) I took a plane home from North Carolina (stories to come soon) and woke up Monday morning to go to work. Went to work each day. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning were 3 hour dance rehearsals. Saturday (yesterday, NYE) I went to work at 7:30 - 4:30. Went to church for 5:30. Basically danced from then until 10:30. Went home and was in bed by 11:45. My body is like...seriously?
Anyways..I guess I have some 'splaining to do.
Retail is the type of business where people come and people go - that's just the nature of things ...most of the time, when folks leave, they don't even give notice. So..when I gave 4 days notice...I thought it would be no problem.
All the managers I have were called in for a crisis intervention.
I was told that I am a valued employee...they've invested into feels like a slap in the face...yadda yadda yadda
and then I hit them with the blank stare.

they resorted to threats.

If you don't give us the full 2 weeks notice...we're going to make it so that you can never work for any estee lauder company ever again. estee lauder owns 40% of the cosmetic brands out there. fyi.

so, of course i gave them the effing 2 weeks.

Luckily, the new job understood and allowed me to take the full 2 weeks....I am so aggravated. One of my bosses..the one who actually interviewed me for the position was like..we're sad to see you go. all i could was give an awkward smile.

and then i giggled nervously and my manager gave me the side-eye so i walked away.

anywho..i start the new job on thursday! woot woot!