Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Every time I sit down and say, "Ok, today, I will blog;" my eyelids get heavy and it feels like the weight of my day begins to weigh heavily on me.

Let me see if I can update you on my life as best as I can:

Trini and I have had sex twice. Oh, yes, I'm a little minx. Mainly, schedule conflicts keep us off of each other and some other issues have me recently wanting to be hands off.
Sex with Trini is awesome. He knows what he's doing and he does it well....but....I have been having some bleeding issues. As in, I start to bleed when he's penetrating me. Soooooo...that puts a real downer on things. He was turned-off. I was worried. I went to the doctor. Side note: Waiting for the genitals doctor, they play those awful videos about HIV. The one that struck me the most was the lady who was living with her boyfriend for 4 years and she went to the doctor for a routine check-up and they did an HIV test and it came back positive. She had to work up the courage to tell her boyfriend and he said that he had AIDS for 8 years. I get tested before and after every partner and usually, I get tested on December 1st (World AIDS Day) and I always use condoms and such but I was SHOOK. Condoms break, tests fail, et cetera....but of course, I was negative. All other STD tests were negative but a Pap smear was done. My cervix was red. The doctor said it could just be irritated from the friction and is 90% sure its not an STD. And umm...the doctor was BFF's mom. BFF's mom studied at Northwestern and Columbia and has been practicing medicine for my entire life. It was weird at first to drop trou...but she was super gentle quick and gave me a hug after. So, I've been dragging my feet a bit to have sex with Trini now because if I start bleeding again, it would just be SOOOOOO draining! It's enough for me to not want to be celibate anymore.

Speaking of Trini....
Yesterday, I called him randomly during the course of my day.
Me: Hey boo. What are you up to?
Trini: Just leaving therapy.
Me: Therapy?
Trini: Yes. we're in marriage counseling.

I swear all of the air left my body as I heard that. I understand why he's in marriage counseling. No one wants to be divorced. As he told me, she got everything in the settlement of the divorce. It has been difficult and he doesn't want to not be married but....DAMN! So, yes...part of me...was like RUN Nina. Run for your life! The other part was least he's honest. Most dudes would gas you and make you think things are one way but they are totally different and then drop you once they have what they want.

Oy! I'm a little disappointed but I already knew what I was getting myself into so I should really just buck up and find someone else which brings me to....

Stark. Not sure if its even worth mentioning but I met this dude online. He talked the talk boyyyyy. he was so cute and funny, snarky and witty. He totally decided to fall off thef ace of the Earth. Part of me is like...he's not the man for you if he did thart but ugh...imagine if you founf someone you click with in most ways and then boom...he drops you. I'm super sick of dating. I just want God to reveal my husband to me in a dream or something.

Guess who's bzack?? DK!
Posts on DK

He invited me to dinner which ended with me kissing him so passionately, he got a hard-on and wanted to come back home with me. What can I say? I am an amazing kisser. LOL
I don't sleep with more than one person at a time, so I said no. We've been texting back and forth. Its been really casual. I used to be really into him. Now I'm like "meh."

I just need some fresh meat.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Inmate #388201

Brother Wise is in prison or jail. I don't know the difference.
His son is about 4 years old. He hasn't been with the mother of his child in about 3 years. However, he like any other father wants to know the type of dudes she's bringing around his kid. The girl lied to him, saying she wasn't seeing anyone but he would see the same car in her driveway repeatedly. One day, he came by to pick up his son. He saw the car there and he knew the dude was there so he thought, "Great! I get to meet this guy." This dude runs out the back door.

Brother Wise is not a physically intimidating man. He is about 5ft5 inches. He does have some weight on him but seriously, at one point, I thought I could take him myself...but I think I could take most people. But that is a bitch move.

Two weeks later, the same thing happens except, BW caught him and beat him up and stabbed him 5 times. The most gentle man that I know was arrested on assault and was given a year in prison.When he told me this, I was in pure shock. Its like learning that care bears and pandas eat babies. I will write to him. I am not sure what to talk about or to say but I feel like as a friend, if I go down on an assault charge - which could happen to anyone if pushed- I'd want everyone to write me.

That shhhh crayy.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


There is an awkward moment when you want to tell a story on your blog and you can't because you haven't blogged in a while and there's a backstory and you have to get through that before you can get to what you really want to say and you kick yourself for not blogging when you should have.

And you just go...


There is also a moment after you have been celibate for over a year where you question your actions, your sincerity for Jesus and why you're voluntarily running away from the peen.

You repeatedly ask yourself...What is wrong with you?

You don't really think about sex besides it being a foreign concept once you possibly find someone you could sex it up with but that seems far off until you meet someone like...Trini.

Can I say that I am super proud of myself for not being a whore and smanging him yet.....although, if it were under my control, I'd have sexed him last weekend and will sex him this week sometime, the fact that it hasn't happened yet and we've been talking and dating and enjoying each other's company for 4 months...puts a smile on my face. Seeing as most women give up the drawls after 2 weeks, using my informal poll of just talking to my coworkers.

And yes...the 4th was my birthday and I didn't get any birthday love. So depressing!

Ahhh...I'm all over the place.

Last night, I had a wonderful time with Trini although it didn't really start out that way.
We agreed the night before that we would see each other Friday night. I wanted to have sexy time because I am a huge lust bucket right now. Turns out, I was itching for some loving because I was super hormonal with my period. So, I wake up all bloody and angry. Trini's brother was coming into town that night and he had to pick him up from the airport around 7:30. His brother wanted to go and have drinks and Trini actually invited me. (I was kinda stoked). We would meet up around 9/9:30. Me knowing black folks and time, I started getting ready at 9:30pm. I looked for a cute outfit, my heels, tight jeans, biker jacket and I curled my hair.

At 10:30, he still hadn't solidified plans with me and I was getting hot. His brother went ghost on him and he wanted to wait to speak to him before we went anywhere. I had to be at church at 9am this morning and thus, was disinterested in waiting on his brother and was more interested in being held, kissed and hugged up on.

Anywho, he finally picks me up at 11:15 and we go cruising around my neighborhood for some place to go. Sidenote:BFF told me to text her his license plate number and the make and model of his car plus his address. After the whole Nigerian thing, she has become super protective of me. And...I got only half of his plate memorized.

SO, we go to this random place that I would never go into alone and it is poppin. Good music. Good food. Random people in there. Older folks 2stepping. Young folks Dougie-ing.
We ate some wings and talked about what we both want. He told me (again) he just wants companionship and good sex. I told him in plain language, that's okay for right now but eventually, I want a husband and some kids. He understands where I'm coming from and I thanked him for his honesty. He asked me to dance. We did some dancing where he twirled me and we danced close like we were at prom. He leaned in and kissed me from there.

Some wild woman came out of me and I had him against the wall with my tongue in his mouth, grinding on him. I was all over him. Yo...his arms. His abs...his body is amazing. I was touching him and kissing his neck and biting on his ear. He stopped and looked at me and said: "Who are you? This is not the same girl I've been talking to all this time. Who is this woman?"
I just smiled. Something in me triggered on and it is going to be hard to turn it off.

"You're not going home tonight. You're coming to my place. In the morning, you're calling out of work."

That was the sexiest thing I've heard from a man in a long while.
I had to not so delicately remind him of my period. He was not fazed. He said we'd have to reschedule but I'm in trouble.

I love trouble.
He held me close. He grabbed my booty. I held my head back as he bit my neck. Whew! We started dirty talking each other. Soon we looked at the clock and it was 2am. He dropped me off home. He sent me some pictures of what he's working with. My oh my!

I am in trouble.
I love trouble.