How Would I Know?

He messaged me on POF a few weeks ago and in the middle of my whole ooh la la with ATL, I replied. His name is ER.He lives in Queens and is a pastor's kid. He plays drums for his church and he is there almost more than half of the week.

I have no clue when I started feeling like this and it is crazy.
But....after our first conversation, I said to myself - "This is the man I'm going to marry."

I keep telling myself to stop thinking it because it is INSANE. Neither of us are in a position to marry the other. He doesn't want a serious relationship but...there it is. I said it and if a few months from now, it doesn't work out....that's fine.

I wonder why I keep thinking it though.
 The only other person I thought that about was Afroman. I thought it because I sunk years into the relationship. I thought it was right but somehow...deep inside, I know.

This is INSANE or is it Faith?

Anway, we had our first date today. We met at a coffee shop in my hood. I biked there. He clowned me for being on a bike. I sipped an iced chai latte which he called a liquid muffin. It was so delish. We walked around the neighborhood and talked about a whole bunch of stuff.

We started talking about vices. He said that sex was one of his and he keeps falling off the wagon. (I had sex with DK on Thursday - a whole 'nother story) and somehow he got on the conversation about his wife and future kids.

I told him....I'm going to be your wife. He didn't bat an eye. He just said, "Ok." He began talking about names for his future children. Because his name begins with an E, we talked about Ethan, Eve, Ephraim, etc. We both concur that we hate Esther, Estelle and Eric as names. I really like Eve Michelle or Eva  pronounced Ava.

I said, "Since I've appointed myself as your future wife, I will agree that the kids should have E names just because the only cool names that start with the first letter of my name suck...of course, besides my name...and they can't all be named Nina.

I LIKE this guy. I guess that goes without saying.
He's a big guy. He's 6"2 and over 250 lbs. He's funny. He's really big but he's a big softie and I love it. He's super easy-going but I know that I can't walk over him. I dig that.
Anyways...we'll see where this goes. This could be really big or this could blow up in my face.

I want him.

And if  I feel as though he will be my husband, why am I still flirting, sexing and going on dates wit other dudes? Am I playing myself? *kanye shrug*

Either way, I feel like this: