Friday, June 22, 2012

love em and leave em

i have been pms'ing for a little over a week, it feels like...my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride of shit.

i feel so ugly.
i have these bags under my eyes that are going nowhere and now with this heat, the eczema is back with a vengeance...all over my body. eczema is basically a black scaly dry rash.  the worst is my breasts, stomach, back and hips. i don't have health coverage until 7/01/12...THANK GOD but I have to wait to see a doctor til then and hope i don't have to go through hoops and loops. i'm freaking miserable. i'm itchy and uncomfortable all day. there's nothing i can do about it.

i was talking to someone new who EVERYONE in my inner circle says is a non-starter. which is sad because if this dude became serious about finding a wife, he would have a good one..in me. the bottom line is he doesn't want to date. so, i'm like..ok, let's bang. he doesn't take advantage of opportunity to do that. i'm bored. i'm tired of chasing people even though probably to him it doesnt feel like i'm chasing....i'm tired of putting in effort. i just want someone i like to like me back and for that to be enough to date. i don't want to have to decipher feelings....i just want easy,.

writing has been going well....i'm hoping to have it finished in another month. i'm so exhausted when i get home, i force myself to write as much as i can...thus, lack of blogging or blog reading.

what else....thinking about perming my hair but that might just be the self-hate talking. i'll reconsider in another week or so when i'm not bleeding from my vagina.

5 comments:

Miss♥K said...

'i just want someone i like to like me back and for that to be enough to date. i don't want to have to decipher feelings....i just want easy' <<< its so hard to find this these days- every one just seems to have an agenda - and they dont want to share it with the person theyre playing games with smh-- congrats on the book and yes wait for cousin red to stop fucking with you so you can think clearly about your hair and your beauty and your eczema that will be under control soon once you get to the doc

Trish said...

I've been thinking the same about my hair. In between this heat and my patience, I'm with you!! You'll meet a man who cherishes you for the wonderful woman that you are, just hang in there my friend.

kennyspuathoughts said...

Goddamn Nina!!As a man,this really wasn't what I was preparing to hear lol.

Miss♥K said...

lol @ Kenny smh

Nina said...

sorry kenny....the human experience. :/