love em and leave em

i have been pms'ing for a little over a week, it feels like...my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride of shit.

i feel so ugly.
i have these bags under my eyes that are going nowhere and now with this heat, the eczema is back with a vengeance...all over my body. eczema is basically a black scaly dry rash.  the worst is my breasts, stomach, back and hips. i don't have health coverage until 7/01/12...THANK GOD but I have to wait to see a doctor til then and hope i don't have to go through hoops and loops. i'm freaking miserable. i'm itchy and uncomfortable all day. there's nothing i can do about it.

i was talking to someone new who EVERYONE in my inner circle says is a non-starter. which is sad because if this dude became serious about finding a wife, he would have a good one..in me. the bottom line is he doesn't want to date. so, i'm like..ok, let's bang. he doesn't take advantage of opportunity to do that. i'm bored. i'm tired of chasing people even though probably to him it doesnt feel like i'm chasing....i'm tired of putting in effort. i just want someone i like to like me back and for that to be enough to date. i don't want to have to decipher feelings....i just want easy,.

writing has been going well....i'm hoping to have it finished in another month. i'm so exhausted when i get home, i force myself to write as much as i can...thus, lack of blogging or blog reading.

what else....thinking about perming my hair but that might just be the self-hate talking. i'll reconsider in another week or so when i'm not bleeding from my vagina.