Wednesday, May 12, 2010

GroundHog Day?

Last night I was told my grandmother was in the hospital. I wasn't told why. The person relaying the info wasn't so helpful. I just got a call late (11pm) and decided it was best to go in the morning. I kept tossing and turning thinking about how my granny was going to die.

Finally went to sleep at around 3. Woke up at 5, then 6, then 9 and 10. The hospital she was supposedly in is hella far. I had to take a train, then a bus, then walked for 7 blocks. Got lost for 30 minutes. Found it. The hospital was so far in and hidden by trees. Who does that? Only to find she was never admitted there. Wasted 2 hrs of my time to find that she was admitted in a hospital that is 10 mins away from my house. I was so annoyed.

Basically, my grandmother fell out of the bed. She's paranoid about walking because her knees are very arthritic and hurt her. She's showing signs of memory loss. In conversation, she asks things over and over and is disoriented abt where she is. I have to talk to her doctors.

Get this, every time my cousin or mom try and reach out to my grandma, she curses at them, is rude or totally ignores them. So, its up to me to care for her by myself! How the eff am I going to do that? O.o Clearly, I barely take care of myself properly...stress and drama. I'm literally all she has. *le sigh*

I text Jay asking what he was doing this weekend. He never text me back. This, after dozens of messages back and forth. What the fuck? Seriously. I have textual friendships that will never get past that. I don't need any more. Ugh!

Straight from the hospital, I went to church to work on the play I wrote. It was 9 when rehearsal was over. I was starving and decided to call/bbm/tweet/text to see who wanted to grab a bite. People either didn't pick up, respond or had just eaten.

I can operate in pain. I can operate tired or sleepy, angry or annoyed. I can not function hungry. Which is ironic because I usually eat one meal a day. Once my brain registers I'm hungry, I must eat or its a done deal.

to make matters worse, my wisdom teeth on my left side decide to hurt. My face starts swelling up on the left side. I have no pain killers in the house because I can't swallow pills.

Don't laugh at me...I usually keep Children's Motrin (liquid Ibuprofen) in the house just in case I have a pain that I can't shake. I'm all out. I called my mom. She gave me some type of pill and yelled at me for not being able to swallow it. I'm like, dude...this is nothing new. I chewed them and now I'm waiting for it to work. The pain has dulled. Hoping for sleep at this point. Today has been completely shitty.

I'm so overwhelmed.

P.S. I'm still hungry.
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Jaded said...

I hate that your teeth are hurting. Hopefully by now, they are a bit beter. For pills, have you thought of apple sauce or pudding? What am I talking about? You likely have.

As for your grnadmother. I am VERY VERY sorry about her being ill. She must trust you vey much to allow you to take care of her while shunning everyone else. That says a lot bec in your last post you mentioned that the relationship was strained at one point (is this the same granny?). The only advice I can give about having to care for her is do it in a way which you would want someone else to do for you. Think about under what circumstances would you be ok with that person having to throw in the towel. In otherwords don't hold yourself to a different standard than you would hold someone else.

Trish said...

Your grandma seems to have the same symptoms as my aunt, she suffers from dimentia. Hopefully the docs will let you know what's up.

You remember back when my wisdom tooth was out of control? I had never been so miserable, my swollen face had me looking like Shrek. I had no insurance and paid about $400 cash. Feel better!