insomnia and online dating.

I've been battling the most gnarly insomnia. night after night, I struggle with the thought of taking some sleep-inducing drug or actually trying to go at it the natural way.
on my days off, I do it naturally and I don't get some zzz's until about 5am when I've tossed and turned the pounds off. maybe my brain knows something I don't. there's definitely work that I could be doing - some writing or tweeting or something I could be getting done.

alas, i'm sleepless in Brooklyn.

maybe, I'll change the name of this blog to that....

anyway......i'm trying my hand at the online dating pool again.

okcupid.

because pof is a cesspool of douche.

okc has been ok so far. I've been talking to 3 dudes. 1 of whom is a residual from pof. 2 of which are whack. their communication skills....so whack. and I don't have it in me to make up stimulating conversation so I just do the fade out. perpetual small talk son...ugh!

lack of stimulating conversation means to me that you just want to bang and my booty buddy is knocking the spiderwebs out quite nicely.

speaking of which, I masturbated to the thought of being with him last night. I've never done that with a partner before. (that was too much, wasn't it?)

i'm also getting into this phase where I give no fucks what people think. maybe because people around me give no fucks what I think...good and bad.
so fuck it.

this is moi!

the 3rd is a gem I think. he will be 40 on his birthday next month. whoa.
I know.
and has expressed that he wants a wife.

which freaks me out because my credit is shitty and I never thought someone would really actually want to wife me and live with me and have to see my gorgeous face everyday.

maybe because the mothalovas I've been meeting lately can't even commit to a damn date much more than a lifetime of spooning every night with me.

so...i'm a little afraid and skeptical....because if he just wants to bone, that position is filled.

anyway, i'm supposed to have a date with him on black Friday. which is good and bad. good because he wants to meet me within less than a week of actually talking to each other. bad because it's black Friday and I work in retail and I fucking hate people. and that day is going to be hell but maybe having a date will give me something to look forward to....either way...i'll let you know how it goes.

and we'll see if he survives the date to give him a codename.