stream of consciousness

this weekend was bff's baby shower. it all came together very beautifully. she almost cried at how we decorated and she got SO.MUCH.STUFF. i would love to have a baby shower without the baby.i got up at 7am. i got home at 12am. i was soo tired. my body hurts. i hate certain people right now but she was happy so its all good.

thinking about dk and how much things change when people have sex. i'm wondering if i'm even ready to take that step or if i'm listening to my hormones. there are things he doesn't do that bothers me. such as...i can tell he's not big on pda. i reach for his hand. i initiate kisses in public but in private he's all over me. i get it. but private pda leads to other things. i just like affection. also, our communication sucks. i get that he's busy but ugh! i am not a phone person but i would appreciate if 90% of our communication did not occur via text. "people" generally say that my method of communicating what i want is aggressive and blunt. how do i say what i want (and get it) without being bitchy?

so....i'm checking my fb and guess who friend requested me...THE NIGERIAN. what an asshole! i told bff, he's like michael meyers as jason. you burn him, you cut him up...he still comes out of the water to kill again. my first inclination was to curse him out but then i thought...that's exactly what he wants...he wants me to engage him because it gives him an in to try and charm his way back in. no way jose. fuck off.

the brit (my uk friend how stayed with me last summer for a month, was messy and caused a mouse problem) called and text me yesterday. every african person i've met have been the most persistent people i know. it is super positive when they're in business or have a goal in mind but super annoying when they've offended you and you just want them to take a long walk on a short bridge and they just refuse to do so. (the brit is from ghana but grew up in paris and london)

speaking of africans, dk gets sorta offended when i ask about nigeria.
i asked how he got around the city after he told me a story about how his sister hit someone when she was driving one time. i asked if he drove everywhere, walked or took public transportation. the look he gave me..JESUS! i said.. "look..i've never been to africa and i'm genuinely interested in what its like there. stop waiting for me to say something ignorant about your country or your continent. sheesh!" that seemed to ease him up a bit. he told me about the bus system in nigeria which apparently isn't that great. lol. i told him about the bus system in bermuda which i've never been on because it costs $5 to get on the damn bus. i'd rather walk. thankyouverymuch.

my mom says she's in mourning and doesn't want to speak to anyone really. she hasn't been to church since my aunt passed and she just wants to sell everything and move down south. i have no clue what to say to her. so, i'm letting her ride it out. sometime this week, i'll schedule an intervention.

not to brag but..i've beat jake at scrabble 6 times in a row. he says i'm the only one he hasn't beaten and he's determined to play me until he beats me. the friend in me says to let him win but the competitor says...hell no!i am getting tired of winning though but his tenacity is amazing.

i lost my part-time job. my boss' boss said he didn't need me. i kind of knew it on thursday when he told me not to come in on friday but i'm hoping i got the job i interviewed for on friday although the pay sucks monkey balls. *sigh*

my driving lessons are going well. i'm getting the hang of it. i just need to practice more which means i need to get someone to let me practice with their vehicle. i want my license by september 5th!!!

money is funny and it aint no joke. bff's baby shower gift was $80! baby shit is expensive, i got her a pack of 94 diapers, 3-pack of baby wipes, 3-pack of receiving blankets, baby shampoo, baby lotion and diaper rash cream. i didn't realize it would be so much but i wanted to make sure she got something she could use.plus there were unexpected expenses.like..hey someone run out and get some fruit juice for the punch or chocolate for a game or more ribbon. smh. now, i'm trying to do some creative accounting to get a mani-pedi tomorrow. my feet feel like hell and who knew you're not supposed to leave your pedi bean in the shower. the thing smell like a body decomposing after a while. and, umm, i want to get waxed... *giggles* when you know company is coming over, you mow the lawn, right? i now KNOW i won't have a job so...yea, that gets tricky.

that is all for now. hope your weekend was fab!

in space...

yes, oh blogosphere! my head is in the clouds and I can't yank it from out of there. Im trying. I really really am...I'm trying to write my book. I'm trying to be a good employeee. I'm trying trying trying....ahhhh! its sooooo hard to be productive.

I am working on my book though..SO I can't be tooo spacey, right?


Right!

I'll try to write more here..I promise...

i'm supposed to be working..

yet...i find myself looking off into la la land or reading blogs or just plain sleeping with my eyes open. this is not purposefully. it totall catches me off guard and i promptly go back to work.


but, seeing as my superior is not doing anything but talking to my other superior, i do not feel guilt or shame.

just a bit startled at how easy the mind wanders.

A Change is Coming

Anyone who knows me, knows that I get really OCD and bored with things...QUICK...so...with that said, a new look for the blog is coming. So...when you come again (you are coming again, right?)...do not be alarmed...life is still the same fickle pickle; the title will not change - the look will be different.

A change is gonna come.

Keeps things light and fresh and interesting...no?

days like this...

I've been so bad, lately. I was really hopeful on Monday - actually thinking that I would get real things done. It took me two days to clean my living room, dining room, and bathroom - yet totally wreck my bedroom, blow up my kitchen and put it together again.

I've been so ADD...what's going on? hmmmmmmmmm....I just don't know.

I guess I have to promise another "real" post soon.

Ok. Promise made.

Keep the angry mob and pitchforks to yourselves.

Much obliged.

TypeA Personality???

i have found that i have a type- a personality.
i.e. "In some psychological theories, the Type A personality, also known as the Type A Behavior Pattern, is a set of characteristics that includes being impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about one's status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation.[1] Type A individuals are often highly achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. Although they may exhibit some or all of these characteristics, it does not mean that people with the type A personality are incapable of showing love, affection or other types non-pessimistic behavior. Many are also capable of "couching" some of these behavior attributes with proper treatment and medication. Those who do not seek treatment have been described as stress junkies, and often display some of the following characteristics:

An intrinsic insecurity or insufficient level of self-esteem, which is considered to be the root cause of the syndrome. This is believed to be covert and therefore less observable.
Time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation.
Free floating hostility, which can be triggered even over little incidents.[2]
The Type B personality, in contrast, is patient, relaxed, and easy-going. There is also a Type AB mixed profile for people who cannot be clearly categorized and have a combination of both types of personality."

omg! looking at myself wasn't pretty and now i'm all depressed and shit. snapping at people or maybe it's because i haven't gotten sex in a while. yes, there was yesterday and it did give me what i wanted..
oo lets recap yesterday to take away the pain....
hot gooey wet sexxy time. manhandling and yumm yummy

i need sex. instead of sexxy time.