Thursday 13

Once again...thursday has passed and I'm posting this
late....oopsidasies!
I thought abt it all day yesterday, I swear!

Here we go now.....
1. I'm moving into my new apartment in a month. Part of me is petrified.
The other part is really excited. The only part people know about is the
excited part.

2. Number 1 is the reason why I haven't irrationally quit my job yet.

3. I want my ex to want me even though I don't want him

4. Number 3 is the bitchiest yet most honest thing I said all day.

5. I get more play in a gay club that a straight one.

6. None of my gay friends can explain Number 5 to me logically. It all
boils down to both of us liking men...which is a problem.

7. Summer is like a natural aphrodisiac and birth control. Your naked
because its so hot but you don't want to have sex because its so hot

8. Number 7 is half true now that I think about it.

9. If you're suffering from a fashion faux paus and you open your mouth
and an accent comes out: any accent at all...you're instantly forgiven.
Case and point...the 2 black women that were on the train. One was tall
yet wore clunky 3 inch heels...no! No! No! If you're over 5'6...do not
wear clunky wedges...it makes you look clumsy and if you're thin...it
makes you look like a drag queen. The other was chunky like me...in blue
and white stripes..with a Bright blue bra (!!!), equally clunky (and
ugly) cheap looking espadrilles and a bad pedicure. But both of them
opened their mouths and spoke with the most brilliant British accent.
Brilliant!!
It excused everything I said before hand...great!

10. Afroman used to say from time to time that it was deep how I could
be so shallow. Number 9 is staying and I don't czare! My blog, bitches!
Hehehe

11. I hate that men stare at me.

12. Number 11 should say I hate that men stare because its always the
fugly divorced 50 year old nasty mid-life crisis crusty looking mofo's
who stare.

13. So what Number 10...we all are visual in some aspect. If you say
you're not, you're lying and no one likes a liar.

Thursday 13

(even though its Saturday)

1. I'm sleepy even though I got like 6 hours of rest last nite.

2. If it is 70 degrees outside, why have the AC on 30 degrees. Mind-boggling.

3. I feel as though I were born into a life of servitude and I wish I could break out of it.

4. I'm unhappy but happier than I was 2 weeks ago.

5. I'm still finding myself. No matter how cheesy that is.

6. I miss sitting on his lap and kissing him. But, I don't miss his sex.

7. I've never had an orgasm through penetration.

8. I'm still angry at my high school nemesis. I wish I could kick her in the groin with pointed shoes on. I should get over it, but I can't.

9. I didn't come my hair this morning and I don't care.

10. I like to call people dumbasses. Makes me feel better.

11. I sometimes wish I was wayyy different than who I am.

12.I'm too passive agressive. I were more agressive agressive, I would have kicked a few men out of my life a long time ago, finished my book, boned my coworker, and found a new job by now.

13. Life really is a fickle pickle.

Jobs

Thought I'd post this to remind myself...life is bad but not that bad....
hahahaha


1. Coffin Maker
What they do: Build customized coffins, ranging from simple pine caskets to bejeweled boxes.

2. Potato Chip Inspector
What they do: Oversee potato chips on an assembly line and check for overcooked or clumped chips to discard.

3. Wax Figure Maker
What they do: Mold wax to create figures, often, but not limited to, the human form. Figures are often made in the likeness of people who have achieved historical or celebrity recognition.

4. Foot Model
What they do: Work as a "parts model," modeling their feet for advertisements that feature footwear, lotions and other related-products.

5. Golf Ball Diver
What they do: Search the depths of golf course bodies of water to find lost golf balls to refinish and resell.

6. Doll Doctor
What they do: Repair, repaint and reassemble doll parts to doctor-up dolls that have missing, broken or damaged parts.

7. Egg Inspector
What they do: Examine eggs for cracks and other irregularities before they are graded and stamped for approval.

8. Knife Thrower's Assistant
What they do: Act as human targets for the knife thrower, which can involve mastering feats such as being tied to a spinning wheel while having knives thrown within inches of their bodies, or having objects cut above their heads.

9. Foley Artist
What they do: Use random items and whatever else they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sounds effects in films, such as heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.

10. Solfeggist
What they do: Listen to recorded music and monitor notes in indistinguishable compositions.

11. Snow Researcher
What they do: Collect and analyze ice crystals in snow to study the effects of pollution on area snowfall.

12. Wig Maker
What they do: Create and fit hair pieces such as wigs, beards, mustaches and eyebrows for clients requesting hair for costume or personal needs.

13. Gross Stunt Producer
What they do: Create new ways to gross out contestants on television shows, using insects, animal products and other things considered that could be considered "gross" by society's standards.

14. Mermaid
What they do: Entertain crowds as an underwater performer.

15. Whiskey Ambassador
What they do: Drink and explain the proper ways to serve and savor various whiskeys.

16. Dog Food Tester
What they do: Taste and analyze dog food samples and write reviews on the results.

17. Bonfire Builder
What they do: Gather discarded wood from trash bins, beaches, construction scrap heaps and similar areas to expertly build bonfires.

18. Dice Inspector
What they do: Inspect dice used in casinos for lopsided angles, misspotting and other blemishes that could cause error when the dice are rolled for gambling purposes.

19. Ethnographer
What they do: Research and study single groups of human behavior through fieldwork, observing and questioning participants.

20. Gum Buster
What they do: Remove gum stuck to sidewalks, street benches and other unwanted areas by de-sticking the gum through a steaming process.