I thought abt it all day yesterday, I swear!
Here we go now.....
1. I'm moving into my new apartment in a month. Part of me is petrified.
The other part is really excited. The only part people know about is the
2. Number 1 is the reason why I haven't irrationally quit my job yet.
3. I want my ex to want me even though I don't want him
4. Number 3 is the bitchiest yet most honest thing I said all day.
5. I get more play in a gay club that a straight one.
6. None of my gay friends can explain Number 5 to me logically. It all
boils down to both of us liking men...which is a problem.
7. Summer is like a natural aphrodisiac and birth control. Your naked
because its so hot but you don't want to have sex because its so hot
8. Number 7 is half true now that I think about it.
9. If you're suffering from a fashion faux paus and you open your mouth
and an accent comes out: any accent at all...you're instantly forgiven.
Case and point...the 2 black women that were on the train. One was tall
yet wore clunky 3 inch heels...no! No! No! If you're over 5'6...do not
wear clunky wedges...it makes you look clumsy and if you're thin...it
makes you look like a drag queen. The other was chunky like me...in blue
and white stripes..with a Bright blue bra (!!!), equally clunky (and
ugly) cheap looking espadrilles and a bad pedicure. But both of them
opened their mouths and spoke with the most brilliant British accent.
It excused everything I said before hand...great!
10. Afroman used to say from time to time that it was deep how I could
be so shallow. Number 9 is staying and I don't czare! My blog, bitches!
11. I hate that men stare at me.
12. Number 11 should say I hate that men stare because its always the
fugly divorced 50 year old nasty mid-life crisis crusty looking mofo's
13. So what Number 10...we all are visual in some aspect. If you say
you're not, you're lying and no one likes a liar.