Damn You!!! Damn YOU!!!!!!

Ever see one of those women that make you want to go into the house and try again? OMG! Living in NYC...you see these women all the time, but this morning, I saw this goddess that made me feel so much less than the poised young woman I normally am. Anywho! She was gorgeous and fresh and innovative and just so well put together. My self esteem just plummeted 30 points just being in her presence.

I will be moving soon. If I can get it together. I just can't right now. Ugh!

I'm everywhere. Maybe, I won't be one of those people that have it all together all the time. I feel like my life is not meant to be like that. But, I do want to at least have it half-way together...huff!!!

Cuz I don't believe in you anymore anymooore!

I need something to believe in..cause I don't believe in you anymore!
Anymoooooore!
Lyrics by Maroon 5

I'm sad today. I'm sad that I had to turn off FBG's phone in order to
quit the cycle of me paying for it. I'm sad that Afroman is in Buffalo
with his ex.
I'm sad that things don't work out how they're supposed to.
I'm just sad.
I'm sad all my fish died...all of them at the same time.

Sometimes...life is just 2 much to bear.

***

(Repost from Thursday)

This "weekend" was great...referring to my two days off: tues/wed.
I really allowed myself to say "fuck-it" as I did no cleaning and no
packing. I just laid around the house, loafing around.
With that said, I feel like there is a spirit of a little girl watching
me in my house. The entire "weekend" I felt like someone was following
me around when I went to different rooms and was watching me. It sounds
weird but I just wanted to document that just in case I die or something
else happens to me.
Moving along...I got my freak-em dress on going to work. Hehehe
I just wanted to be a lil saucy and saucy I am...

Tata!
I'm a grown ass woman and I conduct myself as such. Pull up a
chair..I'll show you some thangs...

Fri nite...

(Repost from 2 days ago)
I am tooo sober for this to be a Friday night. Feelin like maybe I
should act like I'm drunk...hahahahaha

Me n BFF are going through something. I can't explain it but I feel like
beating the shit out of her. She's been working my last nerve for a
while..but, hey! I'm passive aggresive...so its cool. Its not but it is.
What can I do?
She's going away for 2 weeks....so I can pretend we don't have a problem
for another couple of weeks. Hopefully, when she comes back, I'll be in
my new apartment and life will be great for me.

Today, I found out that I can't paint. Hope I can negotiate it...but I
doubt it....but there's always hope.

Tomorrow and Sunday sucks cause I have to work 7 to 3. Ugh! Hate it!
But..maybe I'll get some kisses from Mr.Phil. Hmmmm.

So 29 days til I move. Tentatively.
If no paint for real real...then it would be 16 days.

HOPE FLOATS!!!

5 things going on right now.......

1. Told FormerBestGayFriend a "few" times that I was turning off his
phone today because I wanted him to jump up and say. Here's
20...50...75...100.00. Toward the bill. Here! Take it. Its not what I
owe but its a symbol of what I owe. I'm so very sorry for what I've done
to you. Enjoy! Not gonna fucking happen! Ugh!

2. I need a new damn job. I feel unappreciated as a human being. I feel
like a number. Which was the reason why I left EvilCableCompany job
before I started this blog.

3. Things go great for me and then I feel ugly on the inside. This
week's paycheck for example.

4. My paycheck was less than normal because I called out of work last
Sunday. Gave my mom $300 for rent. Gave Twin $100 for his rent and the
cable bill is $125. Money was just floating out of my hands....but I
fucked up because I spent $65 on fabric for my apartment....why? Oh why?
Now I'm going to be brokety broke for the next 2 weeks. Trying to see
the upside. Wish someone owed me $$..oh wait! (See #1)

5. I'm not sure if I will succeed with this apartment or fall flat on my
face. I should've planned better...saved more...but...it will be an
adventure!

I'm down w/OPP

I read other people's blogs almost everyday and get annoyed when they don't post reularly..but neither do I. Seeing as I have a strong following (haha) I'm going to post more often.


maybe...


i'll try

don't hold me 2 it...

yea

lol

from bad to fuckin worse

I got a new Sidekick ID because my Sk2 was fuckin up..this one is fucking up even more. I turned it off and on this morning and it said that it was 8pm on December 31,2003. WHA?????? So now, I have to revert to the sk2 and ship off this one to get a "brand new" one shipped to me!

DAMN YOU TMOBILE! DAMN YOU ADDICTIVE SIDEKICK POWERS!!