Weekend Recap: Saturday

I awoke Saturday morning to a message from pl.entyoff.ish from this guy. It was well-written and hmmm...I don't know...something abt it made me respond. So, I did. We ended up sending e-mails back and forth all day. Each one he wrote me was funny and witty. We already had an inside joke between us. He's from Brooklyn - Flatbush and so he was like, oh I'm walking distance from him - easier to stalk me.

He asked for my number and we began texting back and forth from ummm 6pm to 2am....yes. Lol.

While this is going on....

I went to two parties.
The first one was for a friend of my friend. He's gay and oh so fabulous and sexy. All of his friends are fab and sexy. Like muscles and body. Smelling good and dressing well. We went to Vlado in Midtown. It was so much fun! One of them said he forgot my name and so he leaned over and was like your name is either Nina or Erica. I was like Erica? Lol. That's so different from my name...he was like, yea but it fits! So, I think I'm just gonna call you Erica. You can be Nina during the week but Erica on the weekends. Try it! Lmao

This other dude was like.."I love your breasts. They're beautiful! Can I play with them?" I was like buy me a drink first! He was like...what you drinking?

---OMG! I had no idea what I started! He wouldn't let it go. I was soo joking. Smh

We were having so much fun but we had another party at a straight club down the block. Ummm...this is the 3rd straight club I've ever been to and I think it may be the last.

We were told ladies would be free til 1am. From 1-2am, there would be reduced admission with our birthday tickets. We get there a lil before 1 - the line for the ladies is wrapped around the block. The men's line was not even 6 deep. Because it was me and this other girl with our two male friends (gay) they let us enter with them on the men's line. Ok...

As we were approaching, this chick was outside in a concoction. It was strips of kelly green shiny fabric made to look like duct tape covering her breasts the long way and a green ballerina tutu with sparkly heels and a tiara. She was sooo drunk cursing out the bouncers like..."Its my birthday, wtf?"

Needless to say, the place was soooooo ghetto as far as people are concerned. The ambiance was beautiful! It had an outdoor rooftop where we boogied pretty much all night.

And....why did the birthday girl not get there til 2:15ish???

I was mad because I didn't want to be out til the witching hour. She told us to be there at 12:30.

Boo!

She gets there and she's like "Omg, I feel like I'm at the Welfare Center with music!" Hahahah..

We laughed, joked, boogied - made the best of it. Firstly..I didn't eat. I know Cardinal Rule #1: Broken! But...I know my limits. I had 3 drinks. My head was spinning. I sat down for a minute and started watching people - Dudes were like predators. They were watching the girls that looked like they were about to fall over and dance with them to reggae and somehow grab their va-jay-jays or just touch them inappropriately. I just was mindful of where I was dancing and steered clear of basically every dude, lol. Anywho, we left at 5am! The birthday girl...who looked so beautiful and had on some heels I wanted to snatch off her feet! She was saying her feet were hurting so bad. Our friend drove. She said the best line I heard all night.

"My feet are like Tracy Chapman...(She sings) Looking for a fast car..."

I didn't get home and in bed (after a 7Eleven run where I bought and ate a Lunchables) at 6:30 am. So, yea..church at 9 -not gonna happen.

I guess...hmmm...don't have an opinion on it...was an experience, lol
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Weekend Recap: Friday

I worked from 9-1:30 and hustled to my dentist's appointment. I couldn't WAIT to get these darn stitches out! I was nervous he would have to put more in because I pulled out two and I knew it hadn't fully healed.

So, I go into the examination room. I think my dentist was flirting with me but I'm not sure because he's from Mississippi. Lol. So all the babes and jokes could be normal, right? Right.

I was stressing because I wasn't sure how I was going to pay the $67 fee, pay back $50 I owe a friend, and buy a Mother's Day gift. To my surprise, they didn't make me pay the $67.

I ended up getting my nails done as I was waiting for my friend. He didn't want to go out and so I spent Friday night changing my shower curtain and straightening up a bit.

I fell asleep at like 8pm.

Granny-status for real, lol
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Snapshot: Kappa Don, lol

I ran up the stairs as the rain began to pour, questioning whether a $7 cab was in this week's budget. I sighed deeply, trying not to let the melancholy set in that I was once making $1200+ biweekly and now, a simple cab ride on a rainy day seemed like a frivolous expense. As I looked expectantly at the oncoming traffic, uncertainty dotting my brow, he called Kappy Guy.

I smiled, pondering the decision for a second. I needed some positive reinforcement.

"Hello..." I answered coolly.

"Hello Ms. Nina. How are you?"

We danced our tango of mutual ego-stroking. He asked how many men vied for my attention that day. I asked how many women fell at his feet that hour.

And then at the perfect moment, I uttered what I thought would bring the abrupt end to our conversation.
"You know...I've re dedicated my life to God and I'm going to be celibate until marriage."

He was silent for a second. And then he laughed. "I don't think I could do that. You're a strong woman," he said.

Oh Kappa Don. You intrigue me so!

It was like opening a door. I asked him about his first time, his family, his parents. How could I not have known about a sister he has?

For the first time since out high school aim conversations, we really talked.

"Well, Nina, I really just called to say hi."

"Thank you Kappa Guy. I appreciate that."

For the first time in a while, he made me smile not with lust but with appreciation of his place in my life.
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Not Enough Hours in The Day

YW blogged asking where have all the bloggers gone? I ask that very same question.

Just a few months ago, I couldn't wait to blog. I had a zest for it. Also, a few months ago, I had a life to blog about.

Nowadays, I'm fighting to get to sleep before midnight to wake up and not beat the alarm to death at 6:30am. I'm trying to read the Bible, read the NY Times, write a story, write 2 blogs, and umm...meet men who might want to date me. My life is CROWDED. Crowded doesn't equal entertaining.

I will try to blog more. I'll pencil it in between pooping and showering. The only time I have.

I might write snapshots of what I see or what happens to me.

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I Need the Negro Council's Opinion on this...

Arc of Sadness

(lunchtime free verse)
I bid thee tears goodnight
As I unpack my smiles for the daylight
And I wonder
Where has all the laughter gone?
As midnight reaches 9am
I must once again
Perpetrate adulthood

My own eyes I see as I peer through the looking glass
Peel back the fog
Push past the clouds
Stand above the rain

Melancholy drips down my cheeks
The flood is coming.

The Art of Letting Go

Tomorrow, I will relinquish my position on my organization's board.

I really need to rid myself of the constant e-mails and stresses.

I'm tired. If this continues, I will begin to resent it.

Still, I'm holding on.

Letting go is hard for women. My mother still holds on to the fact my father kept the things he gave my biological mother and fought her tooth and nail on parting with them.

My bff still holds on to her failed marriage although her ex-husband wanted to a)have multiple wives b)hit her so hard in the arm once that it went numb c)has alienated her from everyone including herself.

Need I go on?

Being on this board does not define me. It doesn't make or break me. Yet, I'm still holding on to it.

Maybe because I'm afraid that if I no longer have it I will not have an excuse.

Let that marinate.

Now tell me what have you been holding on to?
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