Incessantly tired. Waiting for that grand vacation where I just relax.I've been really depressed lately. Hiding it like a pro - hahaha...notreally. It comes out as anger but I'm really sad. Wishing that lifewould be better - sometimes thinking it should be...just because.
Thinking to myself more often than not...y? Why are we here? Why am Ihere? What's my purpose...since I'm not a supermodel...(personal joke)...and I'm not rich. Just a mortal human with $20 in my pocket for the next 2 weeks..yea...really realy broke-(thanks BGF!)..what am I supposed to be doing because my imagination and my thoughts of grandeurare interrupted by ringing phones, needy/annoying/angry customers and
when someeone screams "fuck" I want to scream it with them. Because I know how deep that comes from within.
And then...my friends....they're just as sad/angry as I am looking at me for help emotionally. Maybe I'm not emotionally available. Maybe I've just run out of cool/nice shit to say because I can't think of anything. But I'm known to be THE ONE everyone talks to and maybe that's just too intimidating for me. Half the time I want to cry right along with them but I'm not allowed because I'm me. Who do I talk to?
This blog...my phantom cult following. I imagine there are scores of you who gather around ur monitors every day awaiting my next issue of literary diarrhea.
I wish I wish I wish....
I could fly away.....
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was...there's a hole in my armor and the arrow hit me sqaure in the middle of it. No one is supposed to know how tragic I am. I don't think they do.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Tired...incessantly
Incessantly tired. Waiting for that grand vacation where I just relax.
I've been really depressed lately. Hiding it like a pro - hahaha...not
really. It comes out as anger but I'm really sad. Wishing that life
would be better - sometimes thinking it should be...just because.
Thinking to myself more often than not...y? Why are we here? Why am I
here? What's my purpose...since I'm not a supermodel...(personal
joke)...and I'm not rich. Just a mortal human with $20 in my pocket for
the next 2 weeks..yea...really realy broke-(thanks BGF!)..what am I
supposed to be doing because my imagination and my thoughts of grandeur
are interrupted by ringing phones, needy/annoying/angry customers and
when someeone screams "fuck" I want to scream it with them. Because I
know how deep that comes from within.
And then...my friends....they're just as sad/angry as I am looking at me
for help emotionally. Maybe I'm not emotionally available. Maybe I've
just run out of cool/nice shit to say because I can't think of
anything. But I'm known to be THE ONE everyone talks to and maybe
that's just too intimidating for me. Half the time I want to cry right
along with them but I'm not allowed because I'm me. Who do I talk to?
This blog...my phantom cult following. I imagine there are scores of you
who gather around ur monitors every day awaiting my next issue of
literary diarrhea.
I wish I wish I wish....
I could fly away.....
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was...there's a hole in my armor
and the arrow hit me sqaure in the middle of it.
No one is supposed to know how tragic I am. I don't think they do.
Take chances..tell the truth..date someone wrong for u...laugh til ur
stomach hurts...seek revenge..apologize..be random..spend all ur
cash....LIVE LIFE!
I've been really depressed lately. Hiding it like a pro - hahaha...not
really. It comes out as anger but I'm really sad. Wishing that life
would be better - sometimes thinking it should be...just because.
Thinking to myself more often than not...y? Why are we here? Why am I
here? What's my purpose...since I'm not a supermodel...(personal
joke)...and I'm not rich. Just a mortal human with $20 in my pocket for
the next 2 weeks..yea...really realy broke-(thanks BGF!)..what am I
supposed to be doing because my imagination and my thoughts of grandeur
are interrupted by ringing phones, needy/annoying/angry customers and
when someeone screams "fuck" I want to scream it with them. Because I
know how deep that comes from within.
And then...my friends....they're just as sad/angry as I am looking at me
for help emotionally. Maybe I'm not emotionally available. Maybe I've
just run out of cool/nice shit to say because I can't think of
anything. But I'm known to be THE ONE everyone talks to and maybe
that's just too intimidating for me. Half the time I want to cry right
along with them but I'm not allowed because I'm me. Who do I talk to?
This blog...my phantom cult following. I imagine there are scores of you
who gather around ur monitors every day awaiting my next issue of
literary diarrhea.
I wish I wish I wish....
I could fly away.....
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was...there's a hole in my armor
and the arrow hit me sqaure in the middle of it.
No one is supposed to know how tragic I am. I don't think they do.
Take chances..tell the truth..date someone wrong for u...laugh til ur
stomach hurts...seek revenge..apologize..be random..spend all ur
cash....LIVE LIFE!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
still angry
angry that i have no real family. they're either dead or estranged. not because i've done anything to them but because they've chosen to be estranged from me.
angry that i go from dead end job job to dead end job.
angry that i don't know how to pursue my passion.
angry that i'm middle class poor.
angry that my friend is really middle class and can have no worries if she wanted to but fucked it up.
angry that i allowed bgf to screw me.
angry that things r without my reach.
ANGRY THAT I HAVE SO MANY DREAMS HANGING INSIDE OF ME AND NO WAY TO GET THEM OUT.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE MY VOICE IS STIFLED.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE NOTHING IN THIS COMPANY. NOTHING IN THE WORLD TO ANYONE BUT A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE.
ANGRY THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT A PHONE NUMBER HAS AN AREA CODE.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE CRYING BECAUSE OF MY UNHAPPINESS MORE THAN I WANT TO ADMIT TO MYSELF.
ANGRY THAT WE AREN'T EACH OTHER'S KEEPERS ANYMORE.
I NEED COUNSELING
I NEED THERAPY
I NEED A HUG
I NEED AFROMAN'S NECK KISSES
I NEED HIS HANDS ON MY BODY
I NEED TO SIT ON HIS LAP........*sigh*
angry that i go from dead end job job to dead end job.
angry that i don't know how to pursue my passion.
angry that i'm middle class poor.
angry that my friend is really middle class and can have no worries if she wanted to but fucked it up.
angry that i allowed bgf to screw me.
angry that things r without my reach.
ANGRY THAT I HAVE SO MANY DREAMS HANGING INSIDE OF ME AND NO WAY TO GET THEM OUT.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE MY VOICE IS STIFLED.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE NOTHING IN THIS COMPANY. NOTHING IN THE WORLD TO ANYONE BUT A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE.
ANGRY THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT A PHONE NUMBER HAS AN AREA CODE.
ANGRY THAT I FEEL LIKE CRYING BECAUSE OF MY UNHAPPINESS MORE THAN I WANT TO ADMIT TO MYSELF.
ANGRY THAT WE AREN'T EACH OTHER'S KEEPERS ANYMORE.
I NEED COUNSELING
I NEED THERAPY
I NEED A HUG
I NEED AFROMAN'S NECK KISSES
I NEED HIS HANDS ON MY BODY
I NEED TO SIT ON HIS LAP........*sigh*
---anger----
I am angry because I hate my fuckin job. I hate knowing I have one more day at this place and i have to deal with this bullshit. one more day. it's not really one more day. its one more day til i'm off for 2 days then....5 more days of this shit. then 5 more...then 5 more... then 5 more....until....I dunno.
Hate is not strong enough for how i feel here.
so, i'm angry.
and broke.
and eternally tired.
Hate is not strong enough for how i feel here.
so, i'm angry.
and broke.
and eternally tired.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
*sad*
because BGF promised to give me money for our $739 phone bill. i told him i was brrrrrokke. i exagerrated it. i made it out to be worse than it was. he still bullshitted me. he still didn't come thru when he was supposed to. it's not abt money. it's about the principle. it is about the money a little bit. because i have none. why? why can't he be more responsible? why would he leave me out to dry?
i've got a headache.
he calls himself a friend.
**sad**
i've got a headache.
he calls himself a friend.
**sad**
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
*sigh*
I absolutely love Afroman. We spent a beautiful day together....wishing
it never ended.
it never ended.
[The End]
*sigh*
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Becoming Whole
I realize that I am just a shadow of a persom. A glimmer of the spark I used to have. I have spontaneous bouts of depression. I'm not happy where I am right now at all and because we are all responsible for our own happiness...and I vowed to myself this would be a productive year....I am aggressively seeking what I would need to be happy.Which means...going back to school. Getting my bills/credit/finances as a whole in order..which inherently means working a lot but saving a lot...which also means being smarter about money. I want material things like an ipod/digital camera/sidekick 3(again)/laptop...and my own apartment.
Can I do this all within 10 months?
Well...let the games begin!!!!!!!! !
Can I do this all within 10 months?
Well...let the games begin!!!!!!!! !
Afroman Debacle
I almost broke up with Afroman yesterday.
It was our 2 month anniversary and it started out with me getting up at the ass crack of dawn to get to work at 7am. Worked all day at this job which is like a giant leech on my skin. I feel like its sucking me dryyyyyyyyyyyyy....(I digress.)
So we agreed the night before to meet at 3:45. Me coming straight from work..him from home.
I told him that I would be 15 minutes late.
4pm. I'm at the meeting place. Brooklyn Museum.
Afroman? No where to be found.
I call. He's still home. What?!
He thought I said met at 4:15. He can get there in 15 mins. I'm skeptical but give him the benefit of the doubt.
4:15 no AM
4:30 no AM
4:35....he walks thru the door.
I'm livid.
He apologizes for being late. I accept but ask does that mean I'm not supposed to be upset.Apparently, I'm not and an apology is supposed to wipe out the fact he's late and that out of all our dates he's been late to all EXCEPT 2.
I'm seeing orange. Not red. Red would mean I'm screaming. Orange means I'm not saying a word. For an hr and a half. One word answers. He keeps asking what's wrong. Wrong question. The answer kept coming up to be this. This is wrong. I can't do this. I want to break up.That's what was wrong.
I'm juggling a full-time job, a grandma in the hospital, a child I'm mentoring, bills up the wazooe..near financial collapse, a mother who won't let up, and figuring out what I'm really doing with this gift that is life and nurturing a relationship.
I'm prioritizing my time to be with him.
I was so exhausted. I never feel like I get enough sleep. EVER!
He has a lot of free time on his hands. He doesn't work. He has no crisis that he's let me know of. I'm like "why can't u be on time?" I was late to 1 date. It would be different if I wasn't doing my part as a gf. I'm a great gf...so he says.I'm thinking...people tend to be on time for the things they value. I value my job..I'm there on time or ealey 9/10's of the time. I value the time we spend together...I'm on time 9/10 times...he's on time 2/10's of the time...what am I to think?
So this was all going through my head while nothing was coming out of my mouth. He finally got frustrated and walked me to the train so I can go home. I gave him a lil speech. He said he learned the hard way (my silent treatment...) And he won't do it anymore.
We'll see.
In the end I love AM and he always gets the benefit of the doubt.
It was our 2 month anniversary and it started out with me getting up at the ass crack of dawn to get to work at 7am. Worked all day at this job which is like a giant leech on my skin. I feel like its sucking me dryyyyyyyyyyyyy....(I digress.)
So we agreed the night before to meet at 3:45. Me coming straight from work..him from home.
I told him that I would be 15 minutes late.
4pm. I'm at the meeting place. Brooklyn Museum.
Afroman? No where to be found.
I call. He's still home. What?!
He thought I said met at 4:15. He can get there in 15 mins. I'm skeptical but give him the benefit of the doubt.
4:15 no AM
4:30 no AM
4:35....he walks thru the door.
I'm livid.
He apologizes for being late. I accept but ask does that mean I'm not supposed to be upset.Apparently, I'm not and an apology is supposed to wipe out the fact he's late and that out of all our dates he's been late to all EXCEPT 2.
I'm seeing orange. Not red. Red would mean I'm screaming. Orange means I'm not saying a word. For an hr and a half. One word answers. He keeps asking what's wrong. Wrong question. The answer kept coming up to be this. This is wrong. I can't do this. I want to break up.That's what was wrong.
I'm juggling a full-time job, a grandma in the hospital, a child I'm mentoring, bills up the wazooe..near financial collapse, a mother who won't let up, and figuring out what I'm really doing with this gift that is life and nurturing a relationship.
I'm prioritizing my time to be with him.
I was so exhausted. I never feel like I get enough sleep. EVER!
He has a lot of free time on his hands. He doesn't work. He has no crisis that he's let me know of. I'm like "why can't u be on time?" I was late to 1 date. It would be different if I wasn't doing my part as a gf. I'm a great gf...so he says.I'm thinking...people tend to be on time for the things they value. I value my job..I'm there on time or ealey 9/10's of the time. I value the time we spend together...I'm on time 9/10 times...he's on time 2/10's of the time...what am I to think?
So this was all going through my head while nothing was coming out of my mouth. He finally got frustrated and walked me to the train so I can go home. I gave him a lil speech. He said he learned the hard way (my silent treatment...) And he won't do it anymore.
We'll see.
In the end I love AM and he always gets the benefit of the doubt.
Afroman Debacle
I almost broke up with Afroman yesterday.
It was our 2 month anniversary and it started out with me getting up at
the ass crack of dawn to get to work at 7am. Worked all day at this job
which is like a giant leech on my skin. I feel like its sucking me
dryyyyyyyyyyyyy....I digress.
So we agreed the night before to meet at 3:45. Me coming straight from
work..him from home.
I told him that I would be 15 minutes late.
4pm. I'm at the meeting place. Brooklyn Museum.
Afroman? No where to be found.
I call. He's still home. What?!
He thought I said met at 4:15. He can get there in 15 mins. I'm
skeptical but give him the benefit of the doubt.
4:15 no AM
4:30 no AM
4:35....he walks thru the door.
I'm livid.
He apologizes for being late. I accept but ask does that mean I'm not
supposed to be upset.
Apparently, I'm not and an apology is supposed to wipe out the fact he's
late and that out of all our dates he's been late to all EXCEPT 2.
I'm seeing orange. Not red. Red would mean I'm screaming. Orange means
I'm not saying a word. For an hr and a half. One word answers. He keeps
asking what's wrong. Wrong question. The answer kept coming up to be
this. This is wrong. I can't do this. I want to break up.
That's what was wrong.
I'm juggling a fuill-time job, a grandma in the hospital, a child I'm
mentoring, bills up the wazooe..near financial collapse, a mother who
won't let up, and figuring out what I'm really doing with this gift that
is life and nurturing a relationship.
I'm prioritizing my time to be with him.
I was so exhausted. I never feel like I get enough sleep. EVER!
He has a lot of free time on his hands. He doesn't work. He has no
crisis that he's let me know of. I'm like "why can't u be on time?" I
was late to 1 date. It would be different if I wasn't doing my part as a
gf. I'm a great gf...so he says.
I'm thinking...people tend to be on time for the things they value. I
value my job..I'm there on time or ealey 9/10's of the time. I value the
time we spend together...I'm on time 9/10 times...he's on time 2/10's of
the time...what am I to think?
So this was all going through my head while nothing was coming out of my
mouth. He finally got frustrated and walked me to the train so I can go
home. I gave him a lil speech. He said he learned the hard way (my
silent treatment...) And he won't do it anymore.
It was our 2 month anniversary and it started out with me getting up at
the ass crack of dawn to get to work at 7am. Worked all day at this job
which is like a giant leech on my skin. I feel like its sucking me
dryyyyyyyyyyyyy....I digress.
So we agreed the night before to meet at 3:45. Me coming straight from
work..him from home.
I told him that I would be 15 minutes late.
4pm. I'm at the meeting place. Brooklyn Museum.
Afroman? No where to be found.
I call. He's still home. What?!
He thought I said met at 4:15. He can get there in 15 mins. I'm
skeptical but give him the benefit of the doubt.
4:15 no AM
4:30 no AM
4:35....he walks thru the door.
I'm livid.
He apologizes for being late. I accept but ask does that mean I'm not
supposed to be upset.
Apparently, I'm not and an apology is supposed to wipe out the fact he's
late and that out of all our dates he's been late to all EXCEPT 2.
I'm seeing orange. Not red. Red would mean I'm screaming. Orange means
I'm not saying a word. For an hr and a half. One word answers. He keeps
asking what's wrong. Wrong question. The answer kept coming up to be
this. This is wrong. I can't do this. I want to break up.
That's what was wrong.
I'm juggling a fuill-time job, a grandma in the hospital, a child I'm
mentoring, bills up the wazooe..near financial collapse, a mother who
won't let up, and figuring out what I'm really doing with this gift that
is life and nurturing a relationship.
I'm prioritizing my time to be with him.
I was so exhausted. I never feel like I get enough sleep. EVER!
He has a lot of free time on his hands. He doesn't work. He has no
crisis that he's let me know of. I'm like "why can't u be on time?" I
was late to 1 date. It would be different if I wasn't doing my part as a
gf. I'm a great gf...so he says.
I'm thinking...people tend to be on time for the things they value. I
value my job..I'm there on time or ealey 9/10's of the time. I value the
time we spend together...I'm on time 9/10 times...he's on time 2/10's of
the time...what am I to think?
So this was all going through my head while nothing was coming out of my
mouth. He finally got frustrated and walked me to the train so I can go
home. I gave him a lil speech. He said he learned the hard way (my
silent treatment...) And he won't do it anymore.
We'll see.
In the end I love AM and he always gets the benefit of the doubt.
Take chances..tell the truth..date someone wrong for u...laugh til ur
stomach hurts...seek revenge..apologize..be random..spend all ur
cash....LIVE LIFE!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Depressed
(Repost from yesterday)
I'm really fucking depressed. My home situation is demonstrative of my
life. I.e my room is a mess. I can't get straight. My life is a mess I can't get straight. Feeling like I'm quicksand grasping at nothing to pull myself up.
BGF pissed me off to no other. He spent the past 3 days or so drunk/high. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I wish life was easy like a myspace page. Like when u get tired of it....u don't log on for a few days. When u hate people, u delete them, and when u feel like it..u can create a new one by signing up with a new email address.
I feel like cutting myself off from people. Life is so hard unneccesarily.
I can't pull myself up from this depression.
My sex drive is even being affected. Yuuuup me! Mine! The girl who wanted sex every place.anytime...who couldn't wait to get home to masturbate...doesn't want to have sex. Feel like crying. Feel like throwing shit. Feel like cutting myself off from everyone and saying "fuck it."can't I just stay n a little corner and just be?
Looking for a new job.
Hopefully I can get it so I can take a break from this one and vegetate for a lil it.
I need shit.
Laptop..new makeup..to take makeup classes...go back to school...I need sanity. Above all.
Sanity.
I wish I could disappear.
You just blink once and I'm gone.
Tanning in Bermuda. Fishing. Something. Anything.
Alas, nothing is owed to anyone.
Nothing is promised.
Nothing should be expected.
Life itself is not for the faint of heart.
Darkness.
I'm really fucking depressed. My home situation is demonstrative of my
life. I.e my room is a mess. I can't get straight. My life is a mess I can't get straight. Feeling like I'm quicksand grasping at nothing to pull myself up.
BGF pissed me off to no other. He spent the past 3 days or so drunk/high. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I wish life was easy like a myspace page. Like when u get tired of it....u don't log on for a few days. When u hate people, u delete them, and when u feel like it..u can create a new one by signing up with a new email address.
I feel like cutting myself off from people. Life is so hard unneccesarily.
I can't pull myself up from this depression.
My sex drive is even being affected. Yuuuup me! Mine! The girl who wanted sex every place.anytime...who couldn't wait to get home to masturbate...doesn't want to have sex. Feel like crying. Feel like throwing shit. Feel like cutting myself off from everyone and saying "fuck it."can't I just stay n a little corner and just be?
Looking for a new job.
Hopefully I can get it so I can take a break from this one and vegetate for a lil it.
I need shit.
Laptop..new makeup..to take makeup classes...go back to school...I need sanity. Above all.
Sanity.
I wish I could disappear.
You just blink once and I'm gone.
Tanning in Bermuda. Fishing. Something. Anything.
Alas, nothing is owed to anyone.
Nothing is promised.
Nothing should be expected.
Life itself is not for the faint of heart.
Darkness.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Confused...
What do I want from life? from Afroman? for myself?
A life less ordinary, in a nutshell....
A life less ordinary, in a nutshell....
Thursday, February 8, 2007
<>Playing CatchUp Part Deux<>
I held his arm as we braved the wind whipping against our faces...assaulting our noses..ears...cheeks ruthlessly.....
We were embarkig on an adventure: Afroman and I.
We are completely capable of the run-of-the mill dates like movies..staying home cuddled on the sofa together...dinner...starbucks...but we made this pact that we would see every museum in NYC. I'm not sure whose idea it was..but it sounds
like mine with my ever-ambitious self.
Anyway..I said all that to say that our date to {{{DRUMROLL PLEASE}}}
THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY was wonderful. Ever so often AM kissed me on my neck and I wanted to turn into a puddle of water at his feet.
I feel my relationship with Afroman maturing and growing. He is my friend. He is my lover. I trust him with a lot. I'm learning to trust him more. He is a gift to me. I am not the easiest person to love. I have my crazy moments.I have my moments like right now where I just want to crawl into a ball and be alone in silence. I have my wonderful moments.I have my times when I want to plant kisses on everyone and give hugs...In short,I am thankful that he has chosen to ride this rollercoaster with me.
I was imagining what my life..what our relationship would've been like if I
hadn't been hurt by "J" or "E" or had had my father for longer period of time or a
million little things that has shaped my personality...
(to be continued)
We were embarkig on an adventure: Afroman and I.
We are completely capable of the run-of-the mill dates like movies..staying home cuddled on the sofa together...dinner...starbucks...but we made this pact that we would see every museum in NYC. I'm not sure whose idea it was..but it sounds
like mine with my ever-ambitious self.
Anyway..I said all that to say that our date to {{{DRUMROLL PLEASE}}}
THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY was wonderful. Ever so often AM kissed me on my neck and I wanted to turn into a puddle of water at his feet.
I feel my relationship with Afroman maturing and growing. He is my friend. He is my lover. I trust him with a lot. I'm learning to trust him more. He is a gift to me. I am not the easiest person to love. I have my crazy moments.I have my moments like right now where I just want to crawl into a ball and be alone in silence. I have my wonderful moments.I have my times when I want to plant kisses on everyone and give hugs...In short,I am thankful that he has chosen to ride this rollercoaster with me.
I was imagining what my life..what our relationship would've been like if I
hadn't been hurt by "J" or "E" or had had my father for longer period of time or a
million little things that has shaped my personality...
(to be continued)
<><>Playing CatchUp<><>
As the arctic winds blew chilled the air outside of our safe cocoon...there we sat together, cuddled up in the softest warmth: Afroman and I.When the clock struck midnight on the morning of February 4th..there we were entangled together."Baby," he half whispered, "it's your birthday.""Yay!!" I replied; in a drunken stupor not really wanting to disturb the blissful peacefulness we shared. "21," I thought, "21 can't be that bad if it starts of this way....."After Afroman left, I fell asleep with the sweetest smile on my face. Waking up later to a gift from my mother....vowing to myself I would get up and go to church on my day off...that didn't really come to fruition. I sat up at around 9am to lots of text and instant messages wishing me well...and later sat in the hospital with my ill grandmother. Later, I went home and slept for about 4 hours...woke up to go to BestFriend's house where I half-watched/half-mused myself by watching her watch the game. We talked our girltalk..and got ready for my birthday "party."<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
BestFriend is always late. This is one of my pet peeves. I am consistently early for everything...while my nearest and dearest are always late. So, in dealing with getting ready with BestFriend...she made me late. I slightly could care less because after all, it was my birthday. I did feel bad when I showed up and ToniChilds and GaySis was there waiting. Even tho, ToniChilds was not invited...getting to tha in a second.Long story short....my birthday was interesting. I drank, I ate, I felt loved, and I paid for most of the debauchery out of my own pocket because EnigmaJr and Twin#1 didn't have enough money to cover it. ToniChilds who is BestFriend's good gal friend from short pants days is an aspiring model and talks and talks and talks soo much, you want to hit her in the throat {literally} would not shut the hell up about how fabulous she is...which I don't think she is...she would be a lot prettier if she would shut up and pose.We were moved 3 times throughout the night..each location colder than the last. By 1am, I was spent and tired and ready to take someone's head clean off their shoulders... SouthernBelle asked to go to a strip club with Afroman and his brother and then proceeded to ask if she could take a picture with him. NOW, I'm not crazy, possessive, or jealous...but that really pissed me the fuck off. How the hell are you going to ask another woman's boyfriend to take a picture with you? Not to mention...I asked her if she wanted to go to a gay or straight club..she misheard me and thought that I said strip club and went bananas trying to get me to go to this strip club with said boyfriend and his brother. Women...are fucked up in their own right. That's why I have 1 female friend and that's Alicia...I trust her with my life.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BITCH!
The night ended up with me being annoyed...so, Happy Birthday to me...::scoffs::
Can we fast forward this year to next year's birthday?
BestFriend is always late. This is one of my pet peeves. I am consistently early for everything...while my nearest and dearest are always late. So, in dealing with getting ready with BestFriend...she made me late. I slightly could care less because after all, it was my birthday. I did feel bad when I showed up and ToniChilds and GaySis was there waiting. Even tho, ToniChilds was not invited...getting to tha in a second.Long story short....my birthday was interesting. I drank, I ate, I felt loved, and I paid for most of the debauchery out of my own pocket because EnigmaJr and Twin#1 didn't have enough money to cover it. ToniChilds who is BestFriend's good gal friend from short pants days is an aspiring model and talks and talks and talks soo much, you want to hit her in the throat {literally} would not shut the hell up about how fabulous she is...which I don't think she is...she would be a lot prettier if she would shut up and pose.We were moved 3 times throughout the night..each location colder than the last. By 1am, I was spent and tired and ready to take someone's head clean off their shoulders... SouthernBelle asked to go to a strip club with Afroman and his brother and then proceeded to ask if she could take a picture with him. NOW, I'm not crazy, possessive, or jealous...but that really pissed me the fuck off. How the hell are you going to ask another woman's boyfriend to take a picture with you? Not to mention...I asked her if she wanted to go to a gay or straight club..she misheard me and thought that I said strip club and went bananas trying to get me to go to this strip club with said boyfriend and his brother. Women...are fucked up in their own right. That's why I have 1 female friend and that's Alicia...I trust her with my life.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BITCH!
The night ended up with me being annoyed...so, Happy Birthday to me...::scoffs::
Can we fast forward this year to next year's birthday?
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