Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Blush Wine

If face tattoos weren't freaky and insane to do, I'd get a teardrop tatted on my face. This year, I've cried more than I ever have since I learned to walk. I'm tired. It is a deep tired that no amount of sleep can really cure. I feel like a loser.
I apply and apply for jobs and no one calls me back. I change my resume. I change my cover letter. Nothing works. I grind and grind for work and it doesn't work out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm lonely. I'm sad and I just really put on a happy face or I just live in denial, focusing on other things. All it is, is just something to re-direct my focus from wanting to bang my head against the wall.

Keri Russell had this line in the movie, Waitress where she's talking to her unborn daughter. She goes, "Dear Baby, I hope someone holds you for 20 minutes straight, not saying a word and not expecting you to say anything. They just hold you and let you know that somebody out there loves you no matter what." (I'm paraphrasing)

But yea...that's what I want for myself. I'm sick of being strong.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


Anonymous said...

You don't know me and I don't know you.

But, I love you.

Consider this comment a virtual hug from a moderately attractive older guy. I'm not creeping, I just stumbled on your blog today.

I've been laid off many times in the last number of years and I know what it's like. I promise you, it will get better.

I wish you all the luck in the world and the Merriest of Christmases.

GorgeousPuddin said...

I empathize with you and at the same time you made this funny. A teardrop????? Bwhahahahahaha! I feel you I could get one too and people would think we're a gang LOL!