Friday, December 3, 2010

Diana Prince vs. Wonder Woman

The Plan:
Bermuda - 3 months
London - 3 months
New York - school to be a teacher

That means:
I'm juggling my business, freelance makeup, the magazine, looking for jobs in NY and Bermuda. Also, friends and family and a tiny piece of a social life.

I need to perfect "no." The stress is relieved by incessant list-making which adds more stress when I realize what I need to do. I've also decided to clean my house top to clutter will be ignored which means my bedroom looks like Hiroshima.

I haven't told my doting my mother my plan. I want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row (shelter, job, work permit for Bermuda, school papers, financial aid) before I tell her.

Oh yea, I want to move in February.

And money is still an issue but won't it always be?

This renewed purpose came from a friend who called me out. I told him about 3 dreams I had. (Only part of the conversation was saved by BBM :/):
1. I was driving a car. A man had given it to me. It was torquoise. All of a sudden the air bag came out and something was wrong with my vision.‎​I pulled over and it was like I was in the woods.A girl I know from my (other) blog drove by and helped me figure out how to drive the car. I took it back to the man. He said he wouldn't fix it. Then, I went to drive it home and then it felt like I was in a maze. Every turn led to another turn or a wall. ‎​I got so frustrated.

He said: You're feeling VERY confused in your life. ‎​And at any moment something can go wrong and the ppl who can fix it won't. ‎​They leave u out to dry. But you're not alone. Some people are there for you and give your strength...even if they aren't the antidote.

2. I was back in the 50s in a school setting. All I remember was there was a lot of racism.‎​Then, I realized that we were in a glass case and there were people watching in the darkness but I couldn't see them. I went crazy and was trying to break the glass surrounding me with chairs. But it wouldn't break.

He said:You're feeling oppressed. That's actually a constant in your dreams.You feel like you need to fight your way out of this position. But wonder if you can do it. ‎​Your not believing in yourself miss homie. ‎​But you know you need a breakthrough.

He was right. I told him I felt depleted.

He asked:
‎​When was the last time you felt on top of the world?
‎​What book were u reading?
What were you doing?
Who did you hang with?
Retrace your steps. Go back to go forward.
I believe in you.

He pulled my card. More like, yanked it from me and put it in my face. I was grateful. I need friends like that. I appreciate him.

I came up with a plan.

Today, I felt like I over-extended myself. My BBM status said, "I'm only human."

He said, "Thought you were Wonder Woman."

I said, "Nope. Just Diana Prince."

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

1 comment:

GorgeousPuddin said...

I love this post! Finding purpose and direction is Amazing! Go girl! Do IT!!!!!!!!!