Yesterday, he called me twice and then a number I didn't know called. I knew it was him and didn't pick up. He waited til later and called again from the number I didn't know as I was coming home from a mixer. Thinking it was a potential client, I picked up.
I was direct.
Me: What do you want?
TN: I want to apologize for how I treated you. I put you through a lot and I'm sorry. I really fucked up with you. I don't apologize to anyone but I apologize to you.
I thanked him for his apology and said "Goodnight."
TN: Don't be so emotional. Why do you hate me so much? I want you to forgive me.
Me: I don't hate you. I choose not to feel anything for you. I accept your apology. I'll work on forgiving you. Forgiveness takes time. Its not like..oh you apologize and I forgive you. Boom. No!
He said he understood.
Me: *sigh* Ok, so why are you really calling?
TN: Like I said, I'm sorry for what I did. I'm really lonely. I miss you. I want to see you.
Me: I wish loneliness on no one. I'm sorry you're feeling it but I don't want to see you.
TN: Are you with anyone?
Me: Yes, I'm dating a few people (LIES! Lol)
TN: Oh good. You deserve a good guy.
Me: I know.
TN: Do you miss me?
TN: Do you have any feelings for me at all?
Me: No. Not at all.
TN: You blocked my number.
Me: Yes, I did.
Me: Because I don't really want to talk to you.
TN: Why are you so cold-hearted?
Me: I took a page from your book.
Me: What number are you calling from?
TN: Why, you going to block this number too?
Me: Don't be a smart-ass. Its rude.
TN: Can I come over to your house and see you?
Me: No, its 10:30 at night. Plus, I don't want to see you. I should go, Goodnight.
TN: Don't be so emotional.
Me: *laughs* I'm not emotional at all. There's really nothing else to say.
TN: I felt when we were together you were trying to put pressure on me to open up. Always asking "who am I to you?"
Me: I wasn't always asking. I wanted to know where I stood with you.
TN: I could have seen you as my girlfriend. I didn't want to put it all over FB and it doesn't work out.
Me: That's not what I asked you to do. I asked you a simple question: were you seeing other people - yes or no? I asked you what you wanted. You chose to play mind games and not be direct and honest with me. I didn't want anything major from you except the truth but I guess you couldn't give me that.
TN: You think all I wanted was to fuck.
Me: Yes, exactly.
TN: You still don't understand me. Me: How can you understand someone who doesn't let you in or even give you a straight answer?
Me: So, yea, I'm going to go...
TN: No! I want to see you.
TN: Why can't I see you?
Me: You had 3 chances to get it right. You didn't. Why would I go backwards?
TN: What do you mean? 3 chances?
I started to explain but didn't want to get into it.
TN: So, can I see you?
Me: The only day I have available is Sunday.
TN: Sunday evening?
Me: You say you want to date me. What if I said no sex? What would you say?
TN: I still say I'm a sexual being and I need to have sex with the person I'm dating.
TN: Can I still see you?
Me: I guess. You can take me out to dinner.
TN: No, I want to come to your house and cook for you.
Me: No. I'm not coming to your house. You're not coming to my house. If you want to see me, it will be at a restaurant somewhere.
TN: I want to cook for you.
Me: No. I told you my terms, take it or leave it.
TN: Oh, take it or leave it?
TN: I leave it then.
Me: Ok, goodnight.
He calls back 15 minutes later. I don't answer. I know him. He would try and talk his way into doing what he wants anyway and I don't have the time or the Job-like patience.
Editor says he's pathetic to tell me he's lonely. She says he's extra crazy and I should never talk to him again.
Well, I was trying! Blocking his number didn't work, right?
BFF said he's stupid. If he didn't let his pride get in the way, he would say.."Ok, I'll take you to dinner." He would be a gentleman and walk you home to your door and then if he was nice, you could invite him up for drink or coffee or tea but NO! He has to have things his way and doesn't know how to play the game. She also said he's extra crazy and I need to get a restraining order.
I agreed with everything but the restraining order. I don't think I have enough to warrant that. I don't want him in my home. They say most women are killed in their own homes by people they know. No thank you! Also, I've been date-raped once by him...I'm not trying to go 2 for 2.
I am going to work on forgiveness though. I think I've already forgiven. I have to dig deep because I'm very passive-aggressive and there are things exes have done in the past, like 7 years ago that I still struggle with.
TN is not the one! I am sorry he's lonely though. I'm lonely too but I'm filling my time with work and constructive things not searching for dudes I mucked over begging them to come back.
JFK said, "Forgive all your enemies just never forget their names."
I couldn't forget him if I tried. I just wish he'd go away.
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