Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I Used to be Fat

Hey Guys!

Quick Update
Yes, Punjabi is named that because he is Guyanese Indian. He does not relate to being black (*rolls eyes*) but relates to being Indian. Whatever.
BFF is keeping the baby because Punjabi knocked her up before. She had an abortion. She vowed never to do it again. She also vowed to wear condoms...and that he wouldn't knock her up again...
Christmas was great! I was convinced I wasn't getting anything but mom showed up on Christmas morning with a new laptop. It is GORGEOUS and nothing is allowed in its presence that is all over my old laptop (i.e. makeup, food, etc.)

Speaking of food...MTV has a new docu-series called, I Used to be Fat.
I was watching it and it is really good. Basically, these kids have graduated high school and they have the summer between high school and college to lose the weight that they feel have held them back. It was super emotional. This girl lost 90 pounds in 111 days. I want that to be me. I am 253 lbs at 5"2. I am a size 18. I've never been small. I've never NOT worn a dress size that wasn't in the double digits. In junior high, my breasts were 34A. For me, its not really the weight as much as it is the body image and wanting to be healthy as kidney disease has torn/is tearing my family to pieces. All year, I've wanted another tattoo but couldn't think of a cute place to put it. I want a tiny little tatt but tiny doesn't really match my body type.

Starting Jan 2, I want to change. A lot of women my size blame food. My problem is not that I over-eat. I eat once a day. That meal is usually not that substantial and not all that healthy either. My metabolism is hella dormant. I need someone to be accountable to...I need someone to make me eat 3 times a day plus snacks. It is so hard to eat that much....maybe because when I was a kid...I had the hugest crush on my brother's best friend. He used to tease me constantly by calling me the Cheeseburglar...thanks McDonald's for your classy rendition of the Hamburglar! (Old school McDonalds...lol) Anyway, he'd be like...how many cheeseburgers did you eat today? *insert the ugliest things you can say about someone's weight/eating habits here*

Yikes! Just typing that made me remember his voice saying those things.

My doctor told me that the first step in kicking a lot of my weight is the soda. I am addicted to Pepsi. During the recent blizzard in NYC, I was without Pepsi for 2 days...I was thinking about it constantly. It was like a REAL addiction. I think I'm pretty active but today, I spent the day runing errands with my little cousin (he's 11) and by the time I got home, I was DONE.

I definitely need to get my head together and get the weight off. I know I will go hard in January because my 25th birthday is in February...the 4th to be exact. Right now, the way I feel about my body...it will be hard to get me in that much-desired freak 'em dress..


*le sigh*

5 comments:

CynCity said...

Trade Pepsi for Coke and you've got me. I ate once today at 6pm and it was Pizza. My metabolism is non existent- I love good food but I have a very small appetite. I eat once a day and it's usually not too healthy.

Maybe we could encourage each other in this.

GorgeousPuddin said...

That was GREAT gift from your mom. As you saw my mother shocked and surprised me too! I don't blog about her but our relationship is iffy at best.

Seems like you're on point to lose weight. You have a plan and that's very important. I have a Coke addiction too! so I know all about that! LOL! Drinking more water and walking has helped me a lot! Good luck with your goals!

Monique said...

The first step is realizing where the problem starts and going from there. I signed up for a really great site called Sparkpeople and it has been wonderful in helping me with my weight loss. You can track your meals, workouts and even talk about forth with people about. You should definitely check it out. Let me know if you sign up so you can friend me on there. And forget about trying to figure out what to eat; it does meal development for you. You got this Nina, now you just have to show how bad you want it. PS: the site is free

Trish said...

Nina!!!!! I've missed you Lady! I'd love to join you in the weight loss plan. My birthday is in Feb too and I plan to lose 20lbs by my birthday!

wynsters the tigress said...

water my love, water!! I think I'm going to join your challenge. I need to cut or drastically reduce sugar in my life. I can feel what it's doing to my body.

I'm so proud of you. you have a great body image and doing this will only add to it! don't get discouraged. I feel that 2011 will be that year for everyone :-)