When I was a chubby little girl growing up in the NYC Public School system, kids used to say mean things to me all the time. When I was in 5th grade, I got hit by a car. I was out of school for a few days. When I got back to school, someone said..."Hey, we weren't worried about you. We were worried about the car. You're so big, you probably dented it really bad."
Things like that...it sticks with you. It never really bothered me what strangers said...rather, the worst hurt comes from people that know you and know you well.
Case and point:
Today, I called BFF as I do every day to check up on her in her delicate condition.
She told me she's nauseous but doesn't throw up and she's been dizzy all day.
She also told me about her friend L who is just like me...she's hard on men...she's a skeptic when it comes to love. If a guy messes up, she writes them off. She has barbed wire around her heart. Anyway, L told her - "I found the one. We are going to get married. I love this man."
BFF said she never imagine hearing those words come from L nor can she imagine hearing those words come from me.
She then says, "Can you ever hear yourself say to me 'BFF, I love this man. He's the one. We're going to get married'?"
She said she can't wait until she does but she can't picture it.
I said.."I'm speechless." As the tears kind of fell from eyes. I was so hurt.
She said she didn't mean to offend me. She was sorry. She's the direct opposite of me and she still can't get it right...
I changed the subject to food and eating. Then ended the conversation.
There was nothing more to say...
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