Thursday, January 6, 2011

Sticks n Stones

When I was a chubby little girl growing up in the NYC Public School system, kids used to say mean things to me all the time. When I was in 5th grade, I got hit by a car. I was out of school for a few days. When I got back to school, someone said..."Hey, we weren't worried about you. We were worried about the car. You're so big, you probably dented it really bad."

Things like sticks with you. It never really bothered me what strangers said...rather, the worst hurt comes from people that know you and know you well.

Case and point:
Today, I called BFF as I do every day to check up on her in her delicate condition.

She told me she's nauseous but doesn't throw up and she's been dizzy all day.

She also told me about her friend L who is just like me...she's hard on men...she's a skeptic when it comes to love. If a guy messes up, she writes them off. She has barbed wire around her heart. Anyway, L told her - "I found the one. We are going to get married. I love this man."

BFF said she never imagine hearing those words come from L nor can she imagine hearing those words come from me.

She then says, "Can you ever hear yourself say to me 'BFF, I love this man. He's the one. We're going to get married'?"

I said.."Yes!"

She said she can't wait until she does but she can't picture it.

I said.."I'm speechless." As the tears kind of fell from eyes. I was so hurt.

She said she didn't mean to offend me. She was sorry. She's the direct opposite of me and she still can't get it right...

I changed the subject to food and eating. Then ended the conversation.

There was nothing more to say...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


GorgeousPuddin said...

Hmmm is she really your BFF? Sounds like she knows the surface you but not the inner you. Of course I can't KNOW you but from your words here it is clear you want to be loved and are waiting for that special man you can call your own. Maybe because she sees your wall of defense she came to her conclusion.
Don't trip! So what!
One day she'll just be SHOCKED when you tell her "He's the one. We're going to get married'?"

Sorry that happened to you, but the people who are closest hurt us the most because what they say means something.

Young woman on a journey said...

le sigh....

words are painful. and its always painful to know how people perceive you, especially when that perception is so off.

and what sucks most is that you can't bring her down to perhaps she should stop thinking everyone is the one, then she wouldn't be knocked up by a married man, already experienced a failed marriage, etc...

you may not give your all to everyone, but i know you'll give it to the one that deserves it. and that is what matters the most. can't wait to hear you say it!

Trish said...

When you do meet "The One", she'll still be dealing with that same foolishness she is in now. Don't worry about her, you're well on your way.

wynsters the tigress said...

honey, you already know what I think of the term 'BFF'. 'nuff said.

do I need to make you some cupcakes??