Sak Pase

Tonight I had my first date from OkCupid. It was with an older guy. His name is Claude. He's Haitian, 39 years old He'll be 40 on Dec 21st...less than a month away. He works in web development and dreams of settling down in the next 5 years in the Caribbean.

He's everything I would want in a man that I can see so far....he's chivalrous, funny, smart (although the grammar is lacking with your vs you're) and he has enough money where he's comfortable....

why is that of note?

because for the past 10 years, I've been dating actors, musicians and vagabonds....lol
it's nice to be taken care of and not worry.

we ate at a Haitian restaurant Wynsters put me on to. they had a live band. we ate and yelled at each other over the music. after we ate, I sat next to him in the booth and we cuddled.

ok....he's a big guy. I generally like big guys. being a big girl, they make me feel small. I asked him about change.

so far, with the vegan diet, I've lost about 15lbs. I plan on losing about 50- 80 more lbs. by this time next year. which would put me somewhere between a size 6-8. i'm a size 16 now. basically, i'm going to be half my size and I wanted to know if he would be comfortable with me changing. I know you can be attracted to one thing and as that changes...the intial thing youre attracted to changes and you're left like...wtf? he said he doesn't like extremes...he likes curvy girls with meat on their bones but not too big where they can't get out of bed. he has been known to like smaller women but not too skinny where if he hugs them they will break.

 as I was sitting there I was thinking about Dragon and how I love his body. He naturally is slim with 6-pack abs. I was thinking about the rest of my life. I could make Claude fall in love with me. By this time, I know what to say and how to act. I also know he wants to get married again and possibly have another child.

Looking at him, I know if I play my cards right, I will be able to get what I want from him, get married and be comfortable and he would be happy and faithful to me.

but, i'm going to be hot and what if the sex with him is whack? will I be happy?i could get a hot dude with a banging body but will that dude treat me right?

am I settling?

also, there is a chance (a slight one) that I could just sit down and be this size for the rest of my life..this is just me overthinking...let me just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is....

as we left the restaurant, he wanted to get a cab because he didn't want to wait on the train. it was so cold outside. as we were walking looking for a cab, we flagged one down. he was like..i'm on my way to get a $50 fare.

claude was like....I got $50, that's nothing...you taking us to where we need to go.
get in nina.

so, we get in and the driver is like...yo, I told my man kirk I was on my way.
claude said, fuck kirk.

I laughed. damn, you so Brooklyn.
all day baby...he said

so, we're driving to my house and kirk calls and the cab driver says he's on his way to the bridge...he's in the middle of Brooklyn and he's going deeper in to drop claude off.

I said, this is why you don't trust black people when you call them and ask them where they are.

everyone laughed.

claude had his hands on my thigh and he pulls me close and we make out.
pink's "sober" was playing in the background and I remember twin told me that whatever song is playing when you first kiss is your song.

funny funny.


anyway...he just texted me, "I like you."

I told him he was corny.

i'm so good at this love stuff

unrelated...this song makes me wants to hump someone's son