Thursday, April 12, 2007

What happened to love conquering all?

Juicy's sad. This is a sadness that comes from deep within. This is Day
3 of the Juicy-Afroman break.
Who would ever tell me u would need a break from ur soulmate? Isn't he
my soulmate? He is my I thought so. But lately, life is
teaching me that what we think and what is reality are 2 separate
things. There's so much love there. Maybe I wished it so.
I shouldn't have read his blog. That's what broke me. Reading his words
and knowing he was hurting. I was fine thinking he was not caring or not
being affected or not thinking about his feelings.
Now I'm confused. Can we work it out? Can we give it another chance?
Maybe there's something more to it than that. I dunno. I knew I was
unhappy, but I put it off until the unhappiness bubbled over, like milk
on the stove.
What were my expectstions?
I expected that he wouldn't be bothered by my spending on him.
I expected that him being bothered by my spending would propel him to
find a job faster.
I expected that dating him would be wonderful and beautiful and
different, but relationships r complex and sometimes ugly.
Now, my heart hurts and I don't know what to do from here on out. I
played my cards and I'm out th game.
Am I being foolish? Am I being selfish?

I am completely exhausted.

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