Rugby + Talking to the Universe + Sexuality + Wrongdoings (Part One)

This was my first week back at Rugby and I'd really like the smug satisfaction of saying..."They call me The Bulldozer. I'm the baddest on the field." Really, Wednesday after practice, I could hardly walk. My quads (outer thigh muscles) hurt so bad that going to sit, walking up stairs and even just trying to walk Rocky was excruciating. Still, I came back for more. Thursday, someone actually tackled me. When playing in college, it was really hard to take me down. I was fast and strong. Also, somehow, I got punched in the face. But, I'm sure it was an accident and while it was a shock...it didn't hurt (that much).

My rugby girls are so much fun. And...apparently, they're all lesbians. The first person who approached me (as a new girl not really in any other way) was a tall slim black lady. I was really concerned about being the only chocolate chip in the cookie...but there are 5 of us on a 40 member team...and 2 of the 5 are confirmed gay.

Anywhosies, she asked me what I did and I told her I work with plus size women and she proceeded to tell me that her partner is pleasantly plump and oh, she just loves the thickness while eyeing me up and down. I laughed it off. At the end of practice, a short brown girl with a really cute asymmetrical afro chatted me up. She was on her way to BK and gave me a ride. On our way, she told me the taller one called her a baby dyke and proceeded to tell me how hard it is for younger lesbians. I was floored. I knew she was prodding me. Tryna see where I was on the line but I did my nervous laugh and left it alone. Although, I did make some comments where she kinda understood I don't roll "that way."

Other teammates talk about their lesbianism openly and with mirth while I just don't go "there." To me, it feels rude to be like..."I'm straight" when no one asks me directly.

Talking to BFF, she's like "No, you need to put it down like...I'm strictly dickly. F--k outta here with that gay s---t. The only vagina I like is my own." I really don't feel the need to defend what hasn't been attacked. It might be because I have a lot of gay male friends and I see how straight men act towards them - that somehow their gayness will by way of osmosis infect them or that by default, the gay dudes like them. Its simply untrue. Everyone has a type. You might not be it.

The most important part of this experience is the game. I'm playing with some of the best girls in the country. Most of them are Ivy-league educated. They are biologists, teachers, lawyers and they can kick my ass. I'm on the #1 non-collegiate rugby team in the nation. Physically, I'm half as strong as I was 7 years ago when I played. A chick half my size tackled me so hard on Thursday, it was slightly embarrassing. She's all muscle though - its almost scary. I've learned so much. I'm eager to learn more.

If all else fails, my thighs are going to look freaking awesome by the time May comes around.
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