So it seems I never talked about this dude I met on POF. He is one of the last dudes I met before I just abandoned ship. I shall call him Carlos. Carlos and I met in late July and have been talking ever since. At the time, he was living in Panama.
I know, weird.
He was working on his PhD, studying abroad in Spain when his funding fell through. He didn't want to come home (to Brooklyn, where I also live - just in case ya didn't know) so he went to live with an aunt in Panama for a year.
Awesome not awesome.
Well, we met and talked and it was cool. He kept saying how he was coming home and being the cynical bitch I am, I was like..yeah, right.
But he did!!
And I was all like...oh yea, we're totally going to be a couple. We talked every day and we did some "show me yours, i'll show you mine" via Skype and the vibes were vibing. Then.....he came home and it was like...oh shit, he needs a job and a cell phone and a place to live.
Being the macho latin man that he is, he did not ask me to help but I felt weird inviting him out to places and him not having money or being strapped for cash so we didn't hang out.
until October. and it was a cheap date and it was fun.
but it wasn't a date date.
and it was weird because other people were telling him how beautiful I am and some dude actually hit on me but that's because Carlos was like 3 steps behind me..anywho...
that never happens when i'm alone but when we were together, the universe was fucking...sending clear burning bush signs that i'm the one.
he doesn't know what he wants - direct quote
he wants to focus on his business - direct quote
I rolled my eyes - so hard
and I decided to move on. and move on, I did.
I dealt with that all throughout my 20s....if I date one more entrepreneur, I swear I'm going to throw myself in front of the 23 bus. (there is not 23 bus in Brooklyn...just in case ya'll get worried, lol)
but you get the picture.
I dated...A LOT. and told him about it.
and he had every opportunity to be like...STOP. ESPERA. Don't date other people. Here I am.
Did he do that? noooooooooooo.
so, I met Claude and here we are.
and since Carlos and I are friends, he's been getting the blow by blow.
and our communication has waned..NATURALLY because I'm preoccupied with my man.
ANYWHO...today, Carlos and I actually spoke on the phone for the first time in a while and we're talking about....life, work, blah blah blah....
and he asks me about Claude and I tell him that today is his birthday and tomorrow I'm cooking for him.
(for the record, i'm going to attempt to make bacon covered bbq chicken with roasted potatoes and sautéed asparagus...bomb DOT com.)
and he's like...that's awesome. then he drops this little golden nugget in my lap.
****"My mom is so pissed we're not dating right now. She wants me to be with you. She even threatened to go to your job and talk to you. I told her if she does that, I'm done with her."**** - direct fucking quote.
I was speechless.
"Why does your mom feel so strongly about us dating?"
"Because she liked your facebook profile. she loves your pictures. She thinks you're so pretty and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders."
"Do you even want a girlfriend?"
"Honestly, Nina, I want companionship but my business ventures come first and my girl would have to be okay with that."
In my head, I start playing the smallest violin on Earth.
I've heard this shit so many times before. Smh.
So, I'm watching TV and what comes on? My Best Friend's Wedding....with Julia Roberts.
and the premise is...Julia Roberts threw a hot guy into the friend zone and didn't want him until he tells her he's getting married to the perfect woman (Cameron Diaz) and of course she has to break them up and make him realize...they're in love.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? What a selfish cunt!!!
And this...ladies and gentlemen, is where we are in the world. I was so upset. Like....who has time to play games? If you like someone, pursue them. If you aren't, let them be happy with whoever the fuck they choose to be happy with.
Of course, in the back of my mind I'm like..I really like Carlos. We've spent MONTHS talking. We could be in love right now...(ha) ((but no, really tho)
But Claude is awesome. He's funny and smart and nerdy and he OWNS A DAMN HOUSE and has lots of disposable income that he wants to spend on me and is emotionally stable and wants to have a relationship and doesn't catch a panic attack when I call him my boyfriend and he actually called himself my boyfriend first and I didn't have to fuck him for 3 months first.
So, WHY am I even thinking about Carlos?
Because, I'm human. A stupid human.
Fuck Sex and the City.
Fuck fairy tales.
That shit is LIES. ALL lies that tell people its okay to be indecisive and its okay to swoop in at the last minute because Dermott Mculroy or whatever is going to choose YOU over his super sparkly perfect woman who actually wanted him all this time because YOU are a far better choice.
Lies that make us think that magically you twirl and fall in love and live happily ever after.
Anyway, tomorrow, I'm going to make dinner for Claude and hopefully, have some steamy sex and blog about it on Monday.