I would like to say that I know that Lee was special when we were messaging back and forth...but I didn't.
I knew that I liked his conversation and felt at ease with him.
We had some sparks. When I heard his voice, I heard that he was stable and strong.
When we had our date, I was excited.
We met up on a snowy wintry night and I was wearing the wrong shoes and not enough clothes and he was tired. He works crazy hours like...15 hour shifts and we were both not on our A-game.
But, we sat over hot chocolate and pastries and it felt like talking to an old friend.
He drove me home and we sat awkwardly at the end of the night in front of my house. I'd made up my mind I wasn't going to kiss him. I've had my cold forever and he was going to Panama. I didn't want to give it to him. I made a comment about hoping to see him when he got back. He asked why wouldn't I? I said, he could find the woman of his dreams on a beach out there. He gave me a hug and called me silly and then instinct took over and I fell on his lips...
They were like two soft pillows.
I fell asleep and had some crazy dreams all involving him and I woke up the next day knowing we would be together. I don't know how I know. I just do.
Anyway...he's off in Panama and I'm here missing someone I hardly know. Time will tell.
But I feel like I know...Maybe I'm crazy.