decisions decisions

My job isn't hard.

People come to this big department store and they look at makeup.
I walk up to them and ask them if they need help.
If they say yes, I ask questions, they ask questions, I find products to help them.
Sometimes they buy. Sometimes they say they're going to look around and never come back. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they just go about their merry way.
Sometimes, people just hand me a list of products they want to buy. I like these people.
Rinse and repeat.

I've spent the past hour laying in bed in the dark not able to go to sleep just thinking about why I hate my job.

Hint: It has nothing to do with the job.

A few of my coworkers are cookoo for cocoa puffs.

The amount of stress I feel right now is so intense..I wish I had a bottle of alcohol to dull the edges of it in my brain.

I am stressed about work and money.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do but the last time I felt this way, I left.

I just saw a mouse in my bedroom. I suddenly feel dirty. There's never just 1 mouse. They come in packs and now I'm stressed about mice, money and work.

I feel so worn out working days and days on end. The same grind. Numbers and people and coworkers and at the end of the day...the only thing I wanted to do was makeup.

I'm thinking about becoming a freelancer. That would mean not having a steady job I punch in and out of everyday. That would also mean possibly having a part time job to make up for not having a steady job.

This path is uncertain.

***sigh***

Something has to change.