The whole thing with Clinton made me realize that the picture that we made inadvertently was something that I did want and I was only fooling myself by saying that I didn't.
I ran into this guy...let's call him Chris.
Chris seemed like a nice guy so I let him take me on a date. We went to Lasagna in Chelsea. The food was good but it was weird to be there on a straight date because they had Drag Race playing on the TV. I was distracted. We had good conversation, I made him laugh and feel at ease since he seemed to be really nervous. I think it was my beauty (lol). The date was decent.
He wanted the night to go on but 1. we just ate dairy and I didn't know how my stomach was going to fare. It could get super ugly. 2. I realized halfway through that there were no sparks between us.
We hugged goodbye and said we'd do something the next night.
The next day, however, I left my phone home and missed his call and texts. I felt bad.
I told him what'd happened and he took it as rejection. It was pretty much downhill from there. He just needed more confidence.
I do not like sensitive guys.
I don't want to have to console you on stupid shit. So...long story short, I think I could've been into him if he'd had more confidence but his lack of it, turned me from being halfway off to all the way off...he was a nice guy, though.
Late one night, I couldn't sleep and I had to be at work super early, I pulled out the POF app on my phone and logged on. I did my search and started hitting people up, y'know just shaking the tree to see if a coconut falls down.
I started talking to about 5 guys...It was nuts.
One guy was from my neighborhood and acted all rude when I didn't want to give him my address.
EXCUSE ME, sir. I don't even know your last name...why should I be so inclined to tell you where I am right now? Ixnay
Down to 4
This one Haitian dude kept sending me rapid fire messages with one question in them. The first message asked for my phone number so he could text me. Stupid me, I complied. Then the next 6 messages were crazy like...why didn't you answer my last question...DUDE! Ixnay
Down to 3
The next dude seemed really cool. I sent him my phone number because the app really does suck your battery. He gave me his and said he'd be waiting for me to text him.
Ummm......
Be a fucking man! If a girl gives you her number, you text her. I thought it was really gay to say to a woman..and I quote.. "Here's my number. I'll be waiting..."
That's pretty fucking gay...
Whatever, I waited a day. Saw he really wasn't going to text me and I texted him. The conversation wasn't even that...It was me asking him getting to know you questions and him just answering. I was taught that a conversation was just like tennis. You throw the ball back and forth. You answer and ask a question so that the person knows that you're engaged. Am I wrong??
Whatever. Ixnay. ....pussy.
2....
He was a Bronx guy. Being from Brooklyn....people outside of BK, Manhattan and Queens...it's a no-go...too damn far. If you don't drive, Queens is a frickin hike.
He was a smart ass and he kept me on my toes. Here is where we got a little tricky.
a. He criticized women wearing makeup. He doesn't get it.
Now...I'm a makeup artist. Do you really think that's going to work? I understand the whole...women should be natural thing....but then men want girls that look like Beyonce who (no matter what her publicist says...) always wears makeup, is in heels, has a weave and a personal trainer to look fab all the time. Give me a fucking break.
b. He was like....I'd like to give you a try. Excuse me? Am I the 1 month free trial from Netflix? He meant sexually...and I played dumb like I didn't know what he meant and he just stopped contacting me.
NEXT!
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