Sunday, March 10, 2013

Boys Boys Boys

This year, so far, I've slept with 2 people, have dated 4 or 5 and am currently plotting on someone to be my boyfriend.

I'm busy. lol

Where do we begin?
Chad. I met Chad on match dot com.
Whoa. Match was a huge waste of my cotdamn time. Seriously, they charged me the amount for my left titty and the same dudes from POF are on there. Chad was trouble. He was an amateur body builder and he was so complimentary of me...oh, you're so beautiful. hi gorgeous...y'know.

It was....nice. lol...what? I'm vain.
Anyway, first date. We ate at a Peruvian restaurant that we happened to stumble upon. He was all over me. His kisses were nice. His hands were like an octopus, man. I really had to take a step back and be like...woosaahhhhh.

We held hands and walked around the city. He walked me home and we kissed in front of my apartment. This ninja tried to come up. (of course, he tried) and I said no, although my panties were wet. lol.

Well, we went from texting all day everyday to me not hearing from him for almost a week.

He came back, saying.....he had to take his phone to get fixed. He didn't have it.

Mmmkay. *skeptical look*

But he really wanted to see my beautiful face and so I let him take me to the movies.

In the middle of Flight, he started rubbing on me and things got hot and heavy and he started fingering me in the theatre.

Yes, because we are 14 years old.

I'm hanging my head in shame.
After the movie ends, we're hanging around the theatre kissing like teenagers. He pulls me into the bathroom and we proceed to have sex.

*GASP*

Ok, so my count was off in the beginning of the post. That makes 3 people I slept with this year....but I don't really think this should count...WHY???
Well...
His penis was the size of my index finger in length and girth. I was sooo sad. He had the sexiest abs, arms and chest. I could really have kissed each part of him except the fun stick because everything else was nice and big and delicious. Ok..so, his penis is small...that's fine...he can make up for it by his tongue or his fingers or sheer stamina. He works out everyday, he can work out by trying to make me climax....

Yo, he lasted for a good minute. If that. I think we got in 5 pumps and that was it. I know the look on my face was like...REALLY??? I don't use the 'n' word but that was one instance, I really wanted to.

But, he was really loving and sweet after and the first part of the story was hot and so I rolled with it.

Then, I didn't hear from him for 3 days again.

And then he pops up like nothing happened.

DUDE....to the left...to the left...Ain't nobody got time for the shenanagins.

So, that was that.
He was nice to look at.


Oh...and then he popped up again on WWF while I was in London and I beat him by 300 points. He was cute but had like 1 marble rolling around in his head.

2 comments:

Mo said...

Well geez Nina, you have been busy! On to the next one!

Miss♥K said...

wow girl how sad at the pinky - i feel bad for guys like that- i enjoyed reading this post tho- Im blushing and cheesing like I'm watching something I'm not supposed to and did I mention im reading this at work lol oooh im naughty lol