Sunday, March 31, 2013

weirdest date ever

(this is going to be a long one...get your coffee and muffin and sit down...lol)


I was on my way home from work, standing at the bus stop freezing my booty off when I see this man walk by. He had a huge smile on his face and was staring at me. He walked by and I shook my head and laughed. A few seconds later, he came back and called me to the side to talk to me.

I never talk to anyone in the street.

I was hesitant but he was persistent and we exchanged numbers.

The first thing I noticed...the French accent. I asked if he was African and he said..."Close, I'm from Guadeloupe."

Side note: Every time I think of Guadeloupe, I think of canteloupe...because they're spelled so similarly.

Anyway, it is a Caribbean island owned by France..he seemed really nice but I hadn't heard from him and I got stood up by Aussie (again) so I decided to call him...I think his name will be The Frenchman. Which kind of makes me chuckle because it makes me think of the guy from The Matrix.
But he's black and isn't such an asshole....but still.

Anyway, The Frenchman called me and it turned out we were doing anything that day, so we decided to hang out that evening at 6:30.

At around 4, I text him to see what the plan was. He said 8:30, to meet him at my old high school - the neutral point between our two houses.  Cool.

As I'm about to leave, I text him the obligatory, "I'm leaving"...he told me he was running about 20 minutes late.

I get a little annoyed..at what point was he going to tell me this? When I was standing by the school in the cold? Ok, so I'm there at 8:50...he said he was on his way...(more annoyance from me)...

I see this guy walking towards me that looked very similar to him except he looked CRAZYPANTS!
I whip out my phone and call him. Thank God Crazypants didn't answer. He told me we were going to walk to a spot about 6 blocks away. He had to pick up a bag before they closed and they weren't open on Sundays and he had to be at work early on Monday.

Okay..I'm thinking it's a small bag. Where do we walk up to? A LAUNDROMAT. He had to pick up his laundry....All I could do was laugh. He called a cab. And I'm thinking..oh shit, we're going to his house..which of course, makes me uncomfortable...

We call a cab. He opens the door and lets me in (cool points) and he runs to the other side. We take a short ride to his house...which is NICE. He has a 62' TV...smh and a 3-bedroom all for himself. When you walk in, you think it's like a studio but then there's this hallway and 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms...O.O.

SO, we're siting in his living room watching some random thing on the TV and I'm like...Ok.....where are we going..(in my head, I'm like...I didn't put on heels to sit in your house)...
He apologized. He was waiting for his friend who was supposed to have called him an hour prior. He plays in a live band and it was going on somewhere but he didn't know where.

So, Plan B was to hit up one of my favorite chill spots in Brooklyn...a wine bar called Therapy.
He had to get cash so we could take a cab, so we walked to an ATM and then I realized that the bar was only a few blocks away..so, I said we could walk...which is big of me (and my heels)..lol

So, we walked and it was nice and cozy. He doesn't drink but I had a grapefruit-infused white wine...it was sooo delicious...just the right amount of sweet and we talked and talked.
He's a smart cookie. Besides French, he speaks Russian as he stayed in St. Petersburg for a year. When he moved to America, he picked up fluent English in 8 months. He's lived all over the States and he has a degree in Economics which he got from an American college, but works as a fire safety director for a building in the city.He also has a few side businesses like he just started a cleaning company in the city and he had a restaurant in Brooklyn that someone else bought out and he might want to restart it.

I was like SHIT! Dude has it all together...

So, why did he stop for me in the street? He said, he could tell I had a very calm spirit,. I was just minding my business not trying to make trouble for myself and then when he smiled at me, I smiled back and it was the most beautiful thing he'd seen.

We sat next to each other and I felt super comfortable with him. He revealed that his birthday is just 2 days before mine. I have a fascination with man hands...I looked at his and they were nice. His nails were short and clean. He looked at my palm as I looked at his. He says.."Our palms look the same...you know what that means? It means, I'm going to marry you." I laughed. I had a big costume jewelry ring on my left hand. "Let me take this off so you can get me a better one." He remarked that he liked my hands as well so I didn't feel like such a weirdo. We just talked and talked until the 2nd glass of wine made me sleepy and we walked to his apartment.

As we walked, he grabbed my hand. As he said something, he turned to me...and kissed me.
"You're so sweet. I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I want to be with you for a while. I've been so lonely. I'm a loner. I have friends but I'm not close to many people. My family is in Guadeloupe. I just want a wife."
I came into the whole situation without expectations..just going with the flow..so, I said I don't see why not...in the back of my head I'm like...he could just be blowing smoke...

We get to his house...I sit down and take off my shoes which were burning my the soles of my feet. He uses the bathroom. On the TV (he keeps it on when he's out), is the first 48 and they're talking about a woman getting murdered. He starts kissing me on my neck. I'm not freaked out but I'm like..THIS is what we're watching? lol

He hugs me and is like..."Oh, I'm in Heaven. I haven't been with a woman in a long time..I don't think I know what to do..."

He turns off the TV and lays me down on his couch and kisses me and starts touching me..things progress a little...he kisses and sucks on my breasts...we go to the bedroom. He takes off my jeans and underwear and puts on a condom.

He does like 3 pumps...and gets up..

WTF?!

I couldn't help myself. I wanted a little taste but I don't want to go too far.

I'm thinking...you're already in there...you might as well finish the job.

I say, I want more...He says..no, if we really go in..your head is going to be all fucked up. I don't want that.

Fine. I get dressed. He calls me a cab and gives me money for it. I'm not sure what to think of it. I do know the French are very expressive..they tell you how they feel but one thing's for sure...he's not a normal guy. We'll see where this goes. I don't have stars in my eyes. I'm a little tired of the dating scene...so, if this doesn't work out...I'll be hanging up my hat for a while. I do have a few guys I'm talking to online...so all my eggs aren't in one basket.

We'll see...

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