I was a mixture of emotions.
He looked me in my eyes and all the love that I have for him rushed to my head.
(This is the short version)
Me:"I think I should just get over you. It's been a year since we broke up. It's ridiculous to have this torch for you. I can't come to terms with why we broke up the way we did. Why couldn't we make it work?" I said in one big breath.
AM:"I don't think it was the right time for us to have tried to be together. I felt like a bum. I didn't have a job. I couldn't do things for you like I wanted to. It was a bad time in my life."
"Yes, I understand but I tried to be there for you. You didn't let me. I thought we would ride the storm."
AM:"It wasn't about us. It was about me."
"Yes, but it's like...I asked you not to contact your ex. You did. Then when we broke up, you moved in with her (!!!) How do you think that makes me feel as a woman? I felt like there was something you were lacking with me and you ran to her."
AM:"Its not like that at all. I wasn't telling her anything I didn't tell you and I was talking to her about you. I miss you. I miss our friendship. There's no one else in my life like you. "
"A friend you like to...."
AM:"No, there's chemistry there. That's not going to go anywhere. It's more than that."
"It just hurts because I feel like we had no problems beside the financial. And even if you asked me to drop my life and move up there, I would. I would move you in my apartment. I would do it to be with you."
AM:"I wouldn't ask you to do that."
I was about to cry.
Whoa. I had to compose myself.
Me: "I am going to move on from you. We can't have this anymore. I mean its not fair to whomever else we bring into this because we're still each other's option in the back of our minds"
AM: "I don't want to lose you. I can't see you not being in my life"
Me: "I'm not going anywhere. I mean...I just can't do this....romantic shit with you."
We kind of switched the subject after this. It was raining and getting late and I needed to hop in a cab. He held my hand as we crossed the street. He hailed a cab for me. I got in, he kissed me on the lips.
I called him when I got home. We talked about fluff.
"I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
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