Monday, April 6, 2009

Celibacy Blues

Is more than a Jill Scott song. Ever since I started pondering it, I've been dreaming of all my exes. Last night, I dreamt of this dude Ze. We're basically the same height but he's mad strong and he liked me waaaay more than I liked him. He is a Crip (he joined when he was 11 and now he's 25. He's considered an OG and the last I talked to him, some 3 yrs ago...he said he didn't really rock with dudes like that but he still wears the colors). I dated him in high school after he pursued me with flowers he drew and poems and The most thugged out dude did the sweetest things for me. How funny is that?

I had to stop messing with him because there were a LOT of Bloods in my school. One dude called me his b!tch one day. Let's just say Ze didn't like that and there was choking up against a wall involved and bloody lips and thangs. And...umm, yea. If you know me, you know I'm a little bunny rabbit. He got suspended for 15 days behind it.

He was so gentle and tender with me. Crazy.

Plus, I remember an incident where this chick grabbed his crotch. Let's just say, I wasn't such a cutesy bunny then. Our relationship was too high profile for me...hahaha.

Anywho, I had a dream, we were in a train straight out of the early 90's. Some dudes tried to punk him and we were in a dangerous situation that led to both of us being shot. I was so scared in the dream. We were running and ducking behind trains. Ever been chased by a maniac who WILL kill. Even one that your mind has created is scary.

I think so fondly of him because he was really the first dude that ever really pursued me. He made me FEEL something around him. He always called me precious and fragile. He always let me know that he wanted me. And he was smart - in the top 10% of our class and was in an extracurricular medical science program. (Yes, I don't mess with the dumb he should've ignored me for 3 yrs like Afroman. Then, I would've been smitten. Smh)

With him, I was always shiny, and that's a feeling a girl just can't ever forget.

P.S. I think these stories are validating me as a Brooklyn chick. People never believe me when I say I'm from BK. Don't let the smile fool ya!
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1 comment:

Young woman on a journey said...

lmao at bk chick. lol. that's a cute story though. i like contrasts of how he was with others and how he was with you.