Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Midnight Train

She packed her bags as the one obligatory tear slid deliciously down her cheek. There was no sadness in her eyes, just the intense feeling of freedom. She would walk out the door and into something else. She had no idea but she was ready. Ready to move on from this life in this city and go wherever the next train would take her. For once, the future was pregnant with possibility.
I think in pictures and in bits and pieces of stories. My mind has always worked like that. As I showered and got dressed tonight (I felt sweaty and sticky after being in the Sun all day), that was what popped in my head. Those words. I wish I could just buy a one-way plane ticket to somewhere and run away. Just for a few days, even. Get my mind together.

I just want to be away away away. I've been saying that for months now. You ever drive towards a building. You see it in the horizon and it looks small. The closer you get to it, the bigger it gets. That's how my breaking point looks - like I'm approaching it soon. What am I going to do? I really don't have the money but JESUS LORD, I need to get away. I need to not go out to a coffee shop and stare at my computer and then come home to my dining room or my bedroom and stare at a computer...Something has got to give!

The more me and BFF thought about Punjabi's story...the more it didn't make sense. Especially, when her blood work won't be in until next week. The fact that his came in so quickly and "they told him his results over the phone" which is illegal seems shifty. She's still giving him the benefit of the doubt.


philosothink said...

i like your writing style!

i fully understand your picture-thinking

jaded said...

I know money must be tight for you, but...seriously, you should make it your priority to get away ASAP. In the same way you would do anything for your real life business to grow and flourish, you have (HAVE) to do the same thing for, maybe the next time you get some cash that was supposed to go towards networking, marketing, etc. perhaps you should put it toward yourself. You can do so much more refreshed and refocused than you can do burn out and tired.

Please keep us posted on the Punjabi story.

neemie said...

i agree with jaded. it's surprisingly cheap to take a short vacation. a couple of days somewhere nice will do your brain a world of good. if you have friends in other cities/states, they are the perfect people to stay with and it makes your vacation even cheaper.

i stopped being friends with someone because they had a caustic relationship similar to BFF and Punjabi. after years of having to deal with their bs, i had enough and moved on. my stress level almost evaporated soon after. it takes a toll on friends having to deal with the drama of others.

Trish said...

I'm with the others. Going to a city and staying with someone you know definitely cuts cost. I remember once I needed to get away and I fueled up my car and drove to Maryland alone. My sanity was definitely on the line when I took that trip and my bff was very accomodating.

Hope you can get away soon! If you need a couch to crash on, let me know!