So many things I need to say...so many stories but I can't really tell it all. Just wrapped the movie I wrote the screenplay for...it was 3 weeks of filming from 6pm -6am, I'd get home at 9 am. Sleep at 10. Wake up at 4 and do it again.
It was torture.
In the midst of that, The Nigerian and I have been back and forth...we both like each other but couldn't decide if we want to be together or not. He still wanted to date other people. I didn't. He wanted to have sex. I didn't. I told him on Sunday, I don't think we should see each other anymore.
He plead with me. We did this same dance last week where he said he didn't want to be with me and then begged me to stay.
I went over to his house last night. He hugged me tight and kissed me. He looked into my eyes and said, "Don't leave me." I looked away....
I sat on his bed.
"If this is going to work, I need to bend a little. You need to bend a little."
He said, "I have bent in ways you don't even know."
He stood me up. We danced to Zousk music which is like dirty dancing. He breathed me in and kissed me.
He dropped to his knees and took off my panties. He kissed and licked me. He unbuttoned my bra from underneath my dress. He pulled my dress over my head. He held me. He kissed me. He licked at my breasts. He laid me down on the bed.
We...had sex. He suggested we take a shower together. We went into the bathroom. We took of our clothes at TN turned on the water. We kissed and hugged. Touched and felt the mist on our skin. We were all hot. We got in the shower. He took his washcloth and shower gel and washed me...each part of me. We talked.
I asked..."Why can't I let you go! I can let anyone else go at the drop of a dime."
He said he could tell. He said he was the same way but he can't let me go either.
I joke he was falling in love with me.
He said he does bend for me...he doesn't kiss, he kisses me all the time. He said he doesn't do oral but he goes down on me. He doesn't understand why. He says he's afraid of a relationship...I say that I will always be honest with him...even if he doesn't want me to. He starts saying things..poetry. It was beautiful.
I thought he was a Leo. He's an Aquarius like me. It makes a lot of sense.
We went back to the bedroom. We got all dirty again. I told him I plan on leaving the country and living in different places. He asks if he can come. I say No...I want to have a bf in each place. He says...I have too many male friends.I think like a man.
We said a lot to each other. Fell asleep cuddled up. In the morning, I asked..."You still want to go on dates and hang out with stupid girls?"
He says, "No. You're my woman."
I guess...it is settled.
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