I went to my interview which I think I aced despite staring at the beautiful bald black man with the empty left ring finger and a voice smooth like butter wondering how our babies would turn out.
After, I bought some groceries - a whole whopping $15 worth for dinner tonight. Came home, putzed around on the Internet, took a nap and carried heavy things down in the basement for my mother.
Took the dog on a walk and came back to sit in my living room for 2 hours in my clothes - jacket, scarf, shoes and all reading blogs like a zombie.
I didn't cook dinner. I didn't eat dinner.
Reading, "Calm My Anxious Heart" - I forgot the author - for my church group has allowed me to recognize that what I thought was possibly depression is quite possibly anxiety. Depression is being sad about the past. Anxiety is being sad/worrying about the present and future in layman's terms.
Is it possible to have a mixed bag of the two?
A curious thought flashed by in my mind - maybe I should see a doctor and go on some meds.
Me, the person who refuses to take Advil for a headache...wants to be on some mood-altering drug...yea right!
I used to be able to push through...y'know suppress the feelings and now I'm staring at blogs like a zombie just so I don't have to deal with my life.
I'm pushing through for now because I know I really have no other choice.
Tomorrow, I get to pseudo-chaperone a group of gay high school kids for the play, "Angels in America." I'm excited for the (free) play and am thinking about what to wear because...y'know, I gotta be fab for the queers. God bless them!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile