Friday Night: Family +Funerals + Jobs+ The Gheys

(Warning: This is a long post)

Yesterday (Friday), I got a call from my older brother's oldest daughter. She's 26 years old and I've never heard of her before. She has a brother 1 year older than her who has a 5 year old daughter. Basically, my brother Michael hid them from everyone. Michaela's mom (the only child I knew about) found out about the other kids when their mom filed for child support. Michael is such a douche. When she told him she was filing for child support, he threatened to quit his job.

It seems all this new niece wants is to know her family and learn how to do makeup. (Lol)
She seems legit. She looks just like Michaela who looks just like Michael. Its scary.

I called my mom, she goes...oh yea, Michael probably has 8 kids. No one knows. He doesn't really know. He's a deadbeat! smh.

how is she a year older than me calling me auntie! Smh.

******
Later on, I text DK.

"Are you not interested in me anymore?"

"Why would you say that? I'm crazy interested in you?"

"I feel like there's no communication unless I reach out to you. I know you're busy but if you are interested in someone you put the effort to speak to them"

"Awww, I get it mama. I will do more."

We shall see.

*******
I got great news on my way to my friend's funeral.

I got a job!

I will be working at Clinique in a department store starting Monday. The pay is not what I was expecting but it is a real full-time position with benefits (I think).

I love working. Even working at the job I hated, I appreciated it because a) it was money-  duh. B) I was getting up everyday with a purpose and doing something. This week I felt as though I was not productive. Such a loser!

AND! I never heard back from MAC. I feel as though it is because I lacked real beauty experience on my resume. Working at a beauty counter would change that so this job is really a stepping stone. I am so grateful! All this week I was praying to get it and I got it.

God is good. 

I wanted to be excited about my news but excitement would have to wait because I was on my way to my friend's funeral which was quite sad. Jen was a good person. She was an amazing storyteller and was HILARIOUS. Yes, she was a diva you wanted to strangle from time to time but she was special. I wonder if she felt like she lived while she was alive.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but Jen was a transgendered woman and so...80% of the people at her funeral were ghey. And our mutual friends.

After the service, we all went to out to dinner and fuckery ensued. A sexy sexy transgendered man (was born a woman) sat next to me and we flirted all night. This is the same one who after the last funeral (so sad) another friend was like you two should be together. Twin was like "If ever you were going to be with a trans-man, this is the one you should be with." Wow.

He is sexy and I'm attracted to him because of what I see. As soon as he takes his pants off, its a wrap. So...he gets hot and bothered because I stare into his beautiful grey eyes and I say inappropriate things and then I cock my head back and laugh and fantasize about if he had a penis.

I had a huge frozen CoCo Loso at dinner. Blame it on the al-al-al-alcohol!

Anywhosies....Friday night, he looked into my beautiful brown eyes and said, "Sweetie, anytime you want to fuck, just say so and it will be on."

Well alright! 

I felt up his arms, chest, abs, back and thighs...whew! If he only had the missing ingredient. Twin was like...he has a plastic penis...it is so NOT the same thing.

I kept thinking about DK. I sent him some tipsy texts that were borderline racy. I didn't want to go IN because I still had my head about me (a little bit).

After dinner, we ended up at Black's house. There were a bunch of people passing around drinks and the herb and we were telling stories about Jen. A friend had a recording of her telling a funny story and another friend had a video of her dancing around. It was enough to break your heart.

To lighten the mood, someone said, "Hey, they passed the law that allows gay marriage in NY!" We all cheered but then I said, "Ain't none of you sluts getting married ever! So, why do you care?"

Out of nowhere, we began talking about dwarves or midgets or little people-  whichever you prefer.  J says that he wants to have sex with one.

From there, we talked about the Saw movies and all the gory bits and then the conversation turned to anal fisting.

J was telling a story about how he used Crisco (vegetable oil-  the white one that comes in a can) to put his fist in someone's anus. Not only that, the guy told him to keep going and he put his hand all the way to his elbow.  When J realized this, he got freaked out and passed out with his forearm in the dude's butt.

It was around this time I suggested we leave. J's friend R was like..."How do you lead a straight Christian lifestyle hanging around all these fags?"

I shook my head.
I seriously don't know.

It was 2:30 in the morning. The cigarette and weed smoke made me so thirsty I probably would've drank from a public fountain if I had to. Of course we didn't pass a corner store. We had to go from 148th St in Harlem to Brooklyn, so we mostly took a highway (The FDR for the curious folk). We were driving in circles trying to get on the Brooklyn Bridge because they had some crazy detour. Have you ever been super thirsty while having to urinate so bad?? Weird science man....

I got the sweetest coolata from Dunkin Donuts ever and that satiated me for the moment.

I got home at 4:30am. 2 hours to get home from Harlem. RIDICULOUS when it takes an hr by train. I hate getting home so late because the next day is ruined.

I told J about the DK situation. He said not to put all my eggs in one basket and to date other people. That's hard for me. I guess I wont shut other people down.

I said I would try because, "I'd rather feel lonely while being alone than feel lonely while in a relationship." - NOT even saying we're in a relationship but I think that's where we're going. IF one of us doesn't eff it up.

So much happened on one day...