Thursday, October 11, 2007

Dear BestFriend,

I wish you would listen. Just sit quietly and listen to me moan and groan.
I wish you would let me cry and let the teardrops cascade down my face and pool at my chin and stain my shirt.

Because I am stoic in nature and the breakdown that happens once in a blue is beautiful. Because I never let myself be broken. Because I listen and listen and listen some more, patiently.

There is this bubble in my chest and I need to burst it.
Let me hold the pin prick.

I wish there were arms that would hold me.
I wish for my daddy. I wish for my mama. I wish for siblings who are estranged and for more friends like you. I wish for relics of days past that will never be here ever again.

I wish I could sleep at night.
More importantly, I wish that "Naima" wasn't my only friend tonight and that she is the only one who will let me sing my blues - my worries - in peace without calculating a budget or giving me advice or anything.

But, tonight, I will let a few tears fall. I will not see through my dark clouds.
And tomorrow, I will wear a little concealer and royal purple. I will hold my head high and perpetrate invincibility.

And all will believe it.
Even you.

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