Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Being associated closely with the ballrooom scene, I face HIV closely as
well. Several of my friends have the disease. But, now that this is
behind me, I can share. I had a scare.

I was dating a man who had too much of a curiosity when it came to the
ballroom scene. He was gorgeous. He oozed sex. He kissed me within the
first 2 hours of meeting me. Aggressive, he was the type of man that
could throw me against the wall and kiss me. After 6 hours of meeting
me, he declared me goddess and proposed. But, there were things about
him that had me questioning. He never wanted to meet my close friends.
He'd accuse me of getting numbers and flirting with men. He'd not show
up for dates saying he got lost. He knew my routine too well. He
wouldn't "finish" when we had sex, which from my experience meant he'd
bene having a lot of sex or he wasn't interested. We would have all day
sex-a-thons but he wouldn't "finish"...what? I became skittish. I didn't
know what to do. Then I got the phone call. A is sleeping with B. B is a
male to female transexual who has HIV. She found out about you and she's
trying to give him the virus. They had a 3-some with a woman. They did
coke together. They had a fight and he burst all the windows in her
house and he tasered her till she couldn't move.
My world fell down. I got checked. But, you have to allow your body to
generate the antibodies to fight it off and that's how the test picks up
the virus. I broke up with him, citing I didn't have time for a
relationship. He came to my house, rang the bell like crazy, banged on
my door. I refused to answer. He called me 20 times, I refused to
answer. He threatened to use his taser on me. He came to my house again.
He made a scene. I looked over my shoulder everywhere I went. I waited
the requisite 3 months when it was time to take the test. I froze. I
waited another month. I froze. I waited anothe rmonth. I forced myself
to take the test. Negative. A heavy load lifted, but I was paranoid. I
got every test. Nothing. If there was a weird anything, it was checked.
I was nervous when sleeping with Afroman. I went to a function at GMHC
(Gay Men's Health Crisis). There was free testing. A friend encouraged
it. I got tested for HIV. I was nervous. No one wants the test to come
back positive. Of course I prepared myself for a positive result. I
waited 25 minutes for my fate t be announced. Negative. I walked into
the function. The first person I run into is B. I was speechless. Livid.
We didn't speak. I didn't acknowledge her presence. After the function,
I had a conversation that helped me relaease the anger. She literally
has no morals. She believes her life is over. She wants to ruin other
lives. Maybe she missed out on a few hugs. Transexuals are often treated
as sex objects. Often times, they are abused, shunned at a young age and
made to feel subhuman. Whatever her situation is, I realize that I can
not harvest any anger within myself towards her anymore. God will judge
her accordingly. I'm glad that I've evaded something that is definitely
life-changing. I'm glad I am the person I am. I feel sorry for her and
the downward path she's walking. I wish her all the best.
As for the scars A has left. What he did was irreprehensible. He placed
me at risk, but more importantly himself. He is broken, at any rate. His
ex girlfriend cut him up and got him arrested for abuse. He said I was
who he was looking for. I have no idea how he disarmed me. Maybe I was
lonely. Maybe he had a good game. I'm still trying to wrap my head
around it all. That's my story. Hopefully, it touches someone out there.
I guess this is my Public Service Announcement...
Be careful! Always protect urself...because you never ever know......who
your partner sleeps with, so are you. Love you all!

1 comment:

Monie said...

Thanks for this post. I'm going through your archives, catching up and I saw this.
I CANNOT.IMAGINE how scared you must have been to take that test, wait for the results. I am so glad things worked out.