Monday, September 8, 2008

Fool Me Once...Fool Me Twice...

I decided to post another ad on CraigsList to hunt for dates.

I know. I know.

it came out a little more desperate than I anticipated.

But, I decided to put what I wanted which is a decent man who wants a friendship with a woman who will put out if the chemistry is right.

Surprise! Surprise! Not a lot of e-mails. However, I thought one guy was cool. We e-mailed back and forth. He had personality. He was funny. So, I decided on a date. A movie. Casual. Relaxed.

Firstly, he told me he was 5ft9. I'm 5"1' and I decided on 2inch heels...I thought I saw him as he called me to tell me he was there. He lied and said it wasn't him. Then, he saw me and it was. I guess he wanted to see me in person, first. But then, he stands next to me and we're looking eye to eye. What?

I looked soo fly. One dude called me delicious. Lol. I just got a new 16inch weave. I had a little makeup on - just liquid eyeliner on my top lid and shimmery lip gloss. I had a bubble dress on that I cinched in the waist with a skinny belt. Hot.

We went to see the movie. Made small talk. We talked about the election. He said he hadn't been following it. He was a Republican. and he wasn't sure if he was going to vote or not. *blank stare*

Did I mention: he's 28.

He shouldn't vote. Asshole.

I wanted to leave but I really want to see the movie. Traitor with Don Cheadle.

He was trying to talk to me during the movie. He grabbed my hand and was digging his nails under mine. Weird. He said my hands were soft. He said things look like they come to me easily. I laughed like, I wish. His breath smelled like old people's breath, reminding me of moth balls or some shit.

After we left the movie, his phone kept going off. I told him he should just answer it. He said no. He was like I'm surprised your phone isn't going off.
I know you got like 6 dudes in the wings. What number am I?

Eh. I was like...don't go there.

He wanted to get something to eat. I wanted to run far away. I had my umbrella. It was a light rain but I spent too much on my 'do to eff it up. He said my umbrella was too small. He put his arm around me and told me to get under his. It was mad uncomfortable because I had to crouch down. After a block, I had to stand straight. As I'm pulling away, he tried to pull me to him to kiss him.

I was like, "What are you doing?"
He asked, "Oh, you're a good girl, you don't kiss on the first date?"
I nodded.

He kept asking me if I were hungry and I kept dodging the question. I said I was thirsty and tired. We went to Duane Reade (only thing open) and got juices and then decided to take the bus home.

Another half hour I told myself. He kept talking. I was half-listening, half-wishing the bus would go faster. He kept touching me. He was running his fingers up and down the tattoo on my spine. He kept touching my knee. He kept his arm around me. I thought my body language was enough for him to get the point. I was mad stiff. At one point, I was like...Can you stop touching me, please?

I was so skeeved out.

It was finally time for him to go. He wanted a hug. I gave him a half-pat. He looked me dead in the eye. I hope to see you again. I smiled.

He called me like 2x to make sure I was home, safely. I texted him that I was fine.

One other quirk: he kept saying, "Can you blame me? After every other sentence....ugh!

I had a funny thought as I got home. I least I have something to blog about. And see..I do it for your entertainment. Can you blame me?

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


Young woman on a journey said...

girl, i don't blame you at all. at least you had something interesting to write about.

um...he sounded wayyyyy too strange. stay off craigslist. seriously! eww. If he was touching me, he would have gotten a knee to the groin, don't play that touching thing with people i don't know. double ewww to the bad breath and a straight out vomit to his non-voting republican 5'3 self. ugh! you should have been the one to tell him you weren't Nina!

Jane said...

Yeah he was a WIERDO!
You are waaaayyyyy better than me girl! I wouldve said something horrid to the poor little man....

neemie said...

welcome to the wonderfully weird world of craigslist dating. i'm the resident expert since i've dated 9 people (since 2005) that i met on craigslist.

dating is dismal down here. and yes, sometimes it was merely for entertainment.

here's a tip: just meet up for coffee during daylight hours. make sure they're not crazy first before you go on a real date.

Chris said...

That last person sounds about right...or just go to coffee shops might see someone there you like...and do it the old fashioned way. Craigslist is so...I don't even have the words for it.

Liz said...

well chris has some nerd considering we met via blogger... BUT that dude is weird. i dunno what to say. it was entertaining but i am sorry you were tortured by that little man... was the movie good at least?

Monie said...

Oh, Nina...that shit was terrible. LOL

At least you looked cute, though.