"I wonder if he's thinking of me...and if so why am I feeling so lonely...Alone to the bone by the phone. "
I called Martian last night. He didn't pick up. I left an awkward message. Still waiting for him to call me back.
I am not one for the games. I let people know right away if I'm feeling them or not because its just easier that way.
In my 9 months of celibacy, I've learned the meaning of intimacy and affection. I have not shared the intimate details of my life with anyone. I have not been affectionate with anyone. 9 months without a kiss. I think about Martian and I see myself about to jump on him but I won't because in a way, I've reverted to the time before sex was an option.
I want the simple things...hold my hand, put your arm around me, show me you care, pick me a damn flower! I have no idea how I will react to being touched....
Frickin loneliness is noooot cool! I'm patient (kinda) and I will give it a week (probably). I have lots of things on my mind (as always) and have things to occupy my time...funny how he keeps creeping in...
Ahhhhhhhh!
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3 comments:
Sometimes its the simplest things we miss. I really needed a hug the other day and like you, no one was around.
I can totally feel where you're coming from. I guess I can say I've been involuntarily (lol) celibate for 5 months...and I truly miss the simple things like hugs and kisses and being held.
I applaud you for being celibate. That's not easy for most people. Nice blog.
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