Time is Like Holding Sand in Your Fist

This weekend was all about the gays,it seemed.

Friday night, I went to a mixer for a foundation I working with. In 2005, a gay teen was murdered. His dismembered body was found in separate garbage bags in th NYC subway. The murder is still unsolved. The foundation is in his honor to keep the NYPD interested in the case and to provide scholarships to LGBT youth going to college. The mixer was at the Rubin Museum of Art. Gorgeous museum. I'd never been there. I got there at 7, just in time to down 2 for 1 pomegranate martinis that tasted like ass but were potent. I hadn't eaten before I drank. Wooot! Afterwards, me teeter-tottering in my heels, SB and his ex-date I guess (date meaning they liked each other, went out a couple of times but for some reason or another, it didn't work out.) went searching for drinks and bbq. $3.50 margaritas and ribs for me. Love. The conversation quickly migrated to SB and why it didn't work out between them. SB delivered the best line of the night:

"Of course I want love! I've been looking for it. I've been single or 5 years. I should've killed myself by now!"

We walked from there to the Maritime Hotel where we met up with SB's roomie and another dude. I love the Maritime and if my bday was not in the winter time, we'd party on the rooftop. Gorgeous night! Gorgeous setting!

SB's ex date was so.....extra jealous. Every dude wanted SB and wasn't good enough for him. Bitter bitter bitter. I don't tolerate that from my female friends so experiencing that from a dude I just met...I wanted to run away.

We left and as we were walking to another club, I noticed it was late and I'd spent enough money. I was ready to go home. My chest was all open from the drinks. I was done.

SB said, "Women can't take being around fags too long. Its okay girl. We understand!"

Smh.

Sunday, I woke up with my body hurting and nauseousness swirling around my head. I didn't go to church, opting to stay in bed til around 4pm. J text me asking if I was going to an event at the pier that night. I did but I had nothing to wear. No seriously. I washed a pair of jeans really quickly and ran to the laundromat to dry them. They were drying for 30 minutes when J came to pick me up. They were still so wet, I had to be resigned to wearing the clothes I had on.

Whatevs.

I only went to see Vogue Evolution since they were performing. It was dope. I saw Dashaun. That's my baby. He is soooo fit now. Every muscle in his body is defined. Pony aka Devon is so weird. Idk something is off with him.

After the event, J dragged me and this chick Princess (because of her "cater to me" attitude) to a party at this butch lesbian's house. We walk in...I'm the only straight girl there. J is one of 2 dudes there. Usually, I'm really closed off and guarded around the aggressive lesbians I encounter but they were so cool, I was at ease. We didn't talk about sexuality really. It was great. I left picking up some of their mannerisms. Hilarity imagining myself as a tomboy again.

Today, I was supposed to go to the track. I want to run and get back in shape. I woke up at 8:30. The track closes to the public at 9. From then on, my body felt horrible. My voice sounds like a man. Idk what to do. Sit down or work out?

I stayed in the bed til 2 and was moving so slow getting out of the house. Editor says I've been running too hard. I can't afford it. I have $2.00 in my account. All my bills aren't paid. I'm drowning a lil bit. I felt like mold for staying in the bed all day I planning on going to bed at 1 and waking up at 8 to try and run. We'll see how that works out.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile